Psycho - Headless Horsemen MC novel Chapter 7

**I'm popping a trigger warning up here just so people don't try to come at me for no warnings, there is a small self-harm scene in the 3rd and 4th paragraphs, skip over it if you need to**

- Harley -

"What are you going to do with him?" I ask with a smile, "I'm going to drop him off at his clubhouse, like a surprise, a giant present!" I can't help but laugh again, every time he speaks my body heats up like an intense bush fire, destroying everything in its path. "Well Jax if you're all done here I'm going to head home and get myself all clean" he smirks and says "No worries kitten, see ya tomorrow trouble maker" I step up onto my tippy toes and quickly give him a kiss on his cheek, I skip out the door to my bike I get on and make my way to the hotel, while riding all I can think about is why Jax calls me kitten, what does he mean by it?

I've never been big on pet names or 'cute' shit like that but for some dumb reason I like it when he does it, it doesn't make me cringe like I usually do... I pull up to the hotel and get inside, locking the door behind me I grab my bottle of whiskey and pour myself a glass, I skull it quickly and pour another one before making my way to the bathroom. I turn the shower on and get in, the hot beads hit my skin and I place my forehead on the cold tiles infront of me, I close my eyes and think over everything that happened today, once I open my eyes they travel to the floor beneath me, the dried blood slowly washing off of me and making its way down the drain.

I quickly wash any blood that's left on me off. I turn the water off and wrap a towel around my body before making my way to the bed grabbing my glass as I walk out, I lay on the bed and sip on my drink tracing over my scars that are hidden under my tattoos. Most people wouldn't notice them at all but to me no matter how much I try to cover them up I can always see them, feel them, a constant trigger on my body. It sounds weird but I like the way it feels, the burn as the blade slices through my skin, pain is the only thing I really feel anymore, I mean sure I'm always smiling and bubbly when I'm around other people but it's fake, truth is I almost feel like I'm dead, like I'm just existing, not actually living.

I throw my glass across the room smashing it against the wall before I get up and grab the bottle instead, I take a few big swigs before I grab my pocket knife out of my clothes from today, I sit back on the bed and play with it for a while, flicking it around until I close my eyes and take a deep breath in. I trace the side of my hip with the blade, I only cut there now because I can hide it easily. I put pressure on the blade and slowly drag it across my skin as a wave of what almost feels like relief washes over my body I do it a few more times until I'm satisfied with myself, I get up and pour some whiskey on the cuts sending more pain through my body, a good pain, a pain I like, a pain I enjoy.

I throw an oversized shirt over my body and a pair of underwear before throwing myself onto the bed, I make a mental note in my head that I need to pack my shit up tomorrow. Shelby has asked me to move in with her, she's got an apartment that's closer to work and she hates being alone, and I just so happen to need somewhere to stay as I've made up my mind to stay here a little longer. I close my eyes and let myself sink into the mattress, I can't stop thinking about Jax, but I need to stop this is just a game for both of us, once one of us is bored I'll leave to the next town, I nod to myself before falling into a deep sleep, wow torturing people really takes it out of ya.

Next day

*Bang** Bang **Bang*

I shoot up in bed, stuffing my gun into the back of my underwear, I go to the cupboard and grab my baseball bat out, pretty little thang she is. No one knows where I am unless hes found me... no... not again.. I position myself and peek through the peek hole in the door I can't see anyone there, I take a deep breath and swing open the door quickly while swinging my bat hardly, as I do the person at the door ducks as my bat hits the door frame, an all too familiar laugh comes from below me as I look down and let out a sigh of relief.

"Damn sugar you nearly took my fucking head off" I roll my eyes at him... Wait how does he know where I live? I turn to him and furrow my brows "How do ya know where I live Jax?" He jumps back to his feet and waltzes into my hotel room taking in his surroundings, "Don't worry kitten, I ain't stalking you. I just know everything, I have eyes in the walls and ears in the floor, I see all in my city" I raise an eyebrow at him and shrug before turning around, I walk into the kitchen I hear his footsteps behind me following my every move, I put my bat on the table before making a coffee.

"Want one?" I ask, he turns to me and nods his head, "black with one sugar" he says before turning around to look around the room some more. I finish making our coffees and place his on the kitchen island, I jump up on the bench and cross my legs, he turns to me not saying anything just watching. I take a sip of my coffee and reach for my packet of cigarettes and take 2 joints out, I hold it out to him silently asking if he wanted one, "Thanks, doll face" He takes it and sits it in between his lips, his perfect fucking lips.