The Pretend Boyfriend novel Chapter 16

Before she can blush any further, she says, "Lori, this is Brian. Brian, Lori. You know Cassie. And this is Brian's best friend, Caleb."

Lori blows a few kisses. Then she turns her attention to Brian again.

"So how did you two meet?"

Sam is ready for this.

Brian says, "Well, we - "

They are interrupted by two more warm bodies.

"Samantha?"

"Mom."

The former Mrs. Fox sails into the midst of the gathered group, dazzling in a slinky blue number that could have been the pride at any Oscar night party. Sam cringes. It's amazing how much Lori is starting to resemble their mother. Put thirty years on Lori, and she would be a spitting physical and psychological image.

Adele Ratner (once Adele Fox, albeit briefly) air kisses her older daughter. "You're looking marvelous for once, darling."

Brian's mouth twitches at the subtle putdown. Sam boils inwardly. If he's going to make fun of her after this, she's going to emasculate his balls.

"And who is this very, very handsome young man?" Adele gazes admiringly at Brian, who is grinning from ear to ear.

Brian snakes out a hand. "I'm Brian Morton, Sam's boyfriend. And I'm twenty-seven years old, which by all accounts from some present is positively geriatric."

"Oh, you are not old by my standards," Adele gushes flirtatiously, clasping Brian's hand and holding it a tad too long. Sam and Cassie exchange warning glances. "Boyfriend? Well, she never told us. Not a whimper, not a text, and certainly not a Facebook relationship status update."

"I know. Isn't that the wildest? Sammie is usually the first to announce she's in a relationship because of ... you know ... the fact that she almost never is in one," Lori says.

Gosh, you are a bitch! Cassie mouths silently while making a funny cross-eyed face.

Sam glares at her. Shut up.

Still, she's grateful that at least one person is on her side.

"Mom, you remember Cassie. And this is Caleb, Brian's best friend."

"Oh, are you two a couple? You look very cozy together."

"Mom! They've just met, OK? And you shouldn't be matchmaking anyone or making assumptions about them."

"Oh, go on with you." Adele turns her attention back to Brian. "So Brian, what do you do?"

Everyone around them is listening as well. You can cut the anticipation in the room with a knife.

"I run my own advertising agency."

"Morton?" Lori's bejeweled ears prick up. "Say, you wouldn't happen to be related to the Mortons of Chicago, would you? The ones who run seemingly everything?"

Cassie says, the warning clear in her tone, "I thought you met her at the gym, Brian."

"Nah, it was at the club. I have a memory for these things. So I elbowed my way through the crowd and danced with her. She was with this dude with greasy hair and a T-shirt that says 'FUCK ME GENTLY'."

Another round of gasps. Sam feels like vanishing into a hole in the ground.

She puts her hand on Brian's back. "Now, darling, that's not how it happened ... "

That's not what we rehearsed, you evil manipulative twat, and you know it.

"So we danced all night. She was wearing this pair of red shoes, and her feet seemed to have their own manic energy, you know, like they were being possessed - "

"Like in the fairytale," Lori puts in. She claps her hands in glee. "Oh wow, I never knew Sam could dance. She was always such a klutz."

Sam winces.

Brian says, "She can dance, take it from me, her boyfriend. So I asked her out. And we found out ... during our ridiculously romantic date - "

Sam holds her breath, closes her eyes and prays.

" - that we went to the same school together. Would you believe?"

"No!" Adele and Lori chorus. It's amazing how alike they sound.