Alone novel Chapter 6

Sitting alone in the dingy room has gave me a lot of time to think. I've accepted that my life is most likely over at this point in regards to my freedom. Even if I do survive, I have a feeling that they'll sell me or something like that. No one comes to see me, which I'm grateful for to an extent. I don't have to be manhandled by two guys who take me to another room so I can get screamed at. But at the same time Jill has been nothing but kind to me, which is weird considering my circumstances. She makes me feel a little safer when she's around, but that feeling disappears if she leaves. It makes me feel so vulnerable.

Being alone also means being stuck with my dark thoughts. What if my family is here? What will they do after not seeing me for five years? They may not have been here physically but they've disrupted my sleep almost every night I've been away from them. I don't think I could handle seeing them again. I'd rather die than be tortured for not doing the smallest things. I can't do that again. I won't do that again.

Hours pass and I'm getting tired. I don't know what time it is, but I don't want to fall asleep and get yelled at for doing so. Instead, I make my eyes as wide as they can and I start to stare at the wall, hoping to find a distraction from my thoughts. At this rate anything will do. Like imagining a life outside of this prison. Maybe I'd finally get a suitable job and I'd be able to move out of the bad part of town. At my new job I'd meet a guy and he'd be perfect for me. We'd go out on dates and have fun, but we'd be like any normal couple and have fights. But it'll all be worth it because we'd get married. We'd start a family. We'd grow old together in a beautiful home, maybe have a couple pets. But that's all fantasy. My life will never be like that, my life will never be good in any sense.

The minutes of me staring at the wall feels like hours. No one comes. I don't move. I don't think I've ever stayed in one spot for this long in my life. I haven't even gone to the bathroom yet, but I'm also holding back on that for as long as I can. I don't want to be using it and then two men barge in here in the middle. That will be even more embarrassing than anything yet.

I'm not sure the time still, but I'm starting to get really hungry. My stomach keeps making noises and it's hard to ignore when I've got nothing else to do. So now all my attention has gone to my loud stomach and it's making me hungrier. I should've saved some of the food. I was stupid to eat it all at once.

For the first time in hours I hear voices outside my room. I sit up straighter and realize it's just some of the men that stand in the hall. I slowly get out of my cot, hoping I don't make too much noise as I walk towards the door. I lean my head against the thick piece of metal in an attempt to hear the men outside.

"Switch.... boss.... girl.... food."

I only hear a few words, but I only pay attention to the last word he says. Food. I smile slightly just at the thought that I may get more food. So I hurry back to my cot and just sit there. A few minutes pass and nothing comes, which dampens my mood that was hopeful for the first time since I got here.

So I decide to quickly use the toilet. I manage to get done with everything, including scrubbing my hands in the small water bucket, without anyone walking in. If this is what my life has come to I'm going to go insane. They might as well send me to an asylum or clinic something like that. It's be one less thing for them to worry about anyway. I feel me being here is a waste of space. I can't give them anything they want, and I just sit in a room all day.

More hours pass and this time, I begin to fall asleep. I can't keep my eyes open any longer and my body is ready to collapse. So I curl into a ball on the cot and begin to go to sleep.

============================

I'm finishing cleaning the bathroom when I hear the front door open. I cringe knowing that it's my parents coming home after their night out. I tuck away any cleaning supplies that could get in their way before I meet them downstairs.

They are both wasted. My dad has buttons missing from his shirt and mom looks likes a zombie. They both are giggling at each other and whispering things. If they weren't drunk and the people I know them to be they'd look like a cute couple.