An Italian's Escort Lover novel Chapter 32

Niccolo Point of View

I'm not sorry.

No, I shouldn't be. With the amount of pain I had to struggle without her, for her, I'm not sorry that I'm acting this way.

The moment I saw her in my Nonna's house, I didn't understand what was happening. Why was she there, what was she doing, how she happened to be with Nonna; all the questions swarmed me at once making me dizzy.

The moment I saw her, tears sprung in my eyes at the mere sight of her. Just how many days, how many minutes and how many damn seconds has it been that felt that kind of relief the moment I laid my eyes on her. It was almost as if the air has finally made its mind to cure my desperate lungs.

That relieved I was!

She looked pale but she does look healthy. There was no mark on her which means she was good and safe and that was the prime assurance I needed. She was weak but she was well and that made me live few more years.

I prepared myself to go and hug her the very moment I saw her but Nonna ran to me and hugged me on the doorstep, whispering me all the behind story of Bella life these past two months. If I say I was angry, it would be an understatement.

She had to go through sexual abuse, had to stay on streets without food and shelter for days, almost died in rain for what, just because she wanted to stay away from me?

Damn, I understand her. I understand her reasoning as well but my anger is justifiable too.

All these years of staying together, loving each other, I at least expect some explanation from her. All I wanted from her was just come to me, tell me her decision and tell her part of the reasons. Was it so much to ask?

"I asked you to get out, Miss Smith." I snapped without even looking at her. I know I was being rude to her but this is needed for now.

She should know how I am feeling right now and how much of pain she caused me.

Y-yes, s-sir. Yes, of course." I heard her whimper. Hearing her call me 'sir' pierced my heart and I know I hurt her by addressing her with her surname.

Sometimes, I wonder if this pain and distance between us would ever end. We spend some good time with each other, fate makes sure to push us through difficult times.

Are we really destined to each other?

"Ah yes, Phoebe. Have you filled the juice jug?" Asked Nonna coming into my room just as Bella was leaving. I noticed Bella nodding her head positively and walking out before turning back to look at me once again. I pretended to work on laptop, avoiding her gaze intentionally.

She should know I was hurt and angry. I almost killed myself when she was not with me. Didn't she not at least once thought how she would live if I was dead?

Nonna locked the door once Bella left and came and sat beside me patting my shoulder.

"When I said I wanted you to teach her a lesson, I didn't mean for you to go this hard on her." She put in, pushing the laptop from me.

"I am angry and hurt." I replied back. She just smiled at me and nodded at me contently and I know it must be because she saw a little spark inside me again.

"Like you said; so does she. I don't want you to give her cold shoulder. It would only increase the distance between you. Nicco, you need to teach her a lesson. Lesson about how she shouldn't care about the world and others when she has you all for herself. That confidence, you cannot give her when you are pouting in the corner." She reprimanded.

I looked confused at her because I know I tried. I tried to build this confidence in her with love, I tried friendship, I tried everything but the doubt she has on herself has never really reduced.

"I tried everything, Nonna. You know what is more confusing?" I asked sighing heavily. I lied down on the bed and placed my head on her lap. Nonna like always ran her fingers soothingly in my hair making me heave in relaxation.

"That I actually feel her. It would be good if I cannot feel her hesitation and insecurities but you know what, I consider them. Her life wasn't that easy to start with and that was one of important reasons I chose to deal with her patiently every time. My dilemma is I find no correct way to make her realize that I don't care. I don't care what or who she was as long as we love each other." I exasperated.

I thought I would be able to deal with my Bella once I meet her but it seems like it is harder than it appears to be.