An Italian's Virgin Escort Series novel Chapter 74

Flashback Continues...

Phoebe Point of View

"This is not happening, Phoebe." Rick exclaimed in frustration. "I am telling him right now." He announced pulling out his mobile from his pocket.

No, No I cannot let him know.

"Please understand, Rick. This situation is better handled by what I said. Please." I pleaded and tried to make him understand that what I am doing is right.

It has to been otherwise everyone will get out of hands.

"Why don't you understand, Rick. I cannot let you tell Nicco that I would be leaving the house forever the next week." I exasperated pacing before him.

"You have completely lost it, girl. If Niccolo Russo comes to know about your release from the house after you are gone, then he would get all the Gods from the sky to find you. Heck, that man will break down when he come to know he can never see you again." Rick yelled at me and ran a hand into his hair in great annoyance.

He pulled his hair in irritation and looked at me like I have gone mad completely.

"Alright, then please tell me what will Niccolo do if he learns about my release? How will he handle the matter?" I questioned him back with tears filled eyes. "Till this day, I am with him only because he was the one who paid for me, for my services but then what? What will happen after this week comes to an end?" This is a painful decision for me too. I am burning from inside and the burn will leave a permanent mark of pain which is caused by love.

But... I am doing this for his own good, why can't he understand that?

"You think all these years of what ever took place between were mere money related services?" He asked in disbelief and anger. I know Rick is friends with Nicco and he cannot take any insult against him. I can understand his anger and I am very happy that he is looking out for his friend but I am right in my place too.

This has to be done. This is the only way to clear a path for Nicco to move forward and make a future.

"There is love undoubtedly, Rick. I love him and he loves me so much as well. I know he will be very happy to know I would be getting out of this hell and would be eagerly waiting to take me back to him. But for how long?" I asked him clearing my tears and looking at him pleadingly.

Rick opened his mouth to answer me back but closed it immediately finding no answer. "How long will he keep me? I will be his mistress for how long? I don't mind being his mistress because I love him however what about his life and his future? Rick he might love me beyond imagination but he belongs to a high society circle who should take a wife and produce heir. If I am in the picture then that would never happen, Rick." I cried and sat down beside my bed trying my hard to stop myself from howling with pain.

The hurt that will be caused by our separation will be incurable, I know; still I want my Nicco to take a wife and have kids. If he gets stuck with me then neither he could have a family nor could his family accept me. I am already ill-fated and hurt is nothing new to me. Why should my Nicco go through unfortunate life because of me?

"I tried, you know. I killed me but I still tried to encourage him to go out with another woman of his stature. Indirectly, directly, I had tried several times to set him up with a nice girl. I attempted to get him into a good marriage but that person was not having any of it. I don't know if he didn't understand my efforts or he did understand but still dodged them. If I go back to him, I will be the reason to pull him back, Rick. I will be the reason for his downfall. I will be the reason for his family to get disappointed at him and I don't want it. All these years, I was bound by the contract and couldn't help put hold him from finding his future but not now, Rick; not when I finally got an opportunity to give him back the life somehow I held back." I muttered crying loudly.

God, why is it so agonizing?

Why does God have to take away all my happiness whenever I thought I was finally content?

Why should this decision make my life harder?

Neither can I stay back with him nor can my heart let me leave.

I felt strong arms go around me taking me in a comforting hug. Rick hugged me tightly and patted my back to console me but there is no amount of consolation in this world to lessen my guilt, pain, anger and hate for myself.