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Five fucking weeks pregnant? How? I’ve only been with one man.
Sydney Kings.
But he used condoms. Or not? Oh! My! Fucking! Gosh! How could I have been so careless? Now I have a baby inside of me? I touch my belly but I remember the bleeding.
“I was bleeding. What happened? Is it safe?” My heart is pounding so fast that I have to breathe in deeply.
“I’m sorry Ms Styles but you encountered a condition called ‘Vanishing Twin Syndrome.’ You had twins but you had a miscarriage and only one of them survived.” My heartbeat picks up again and I feel some pain in my chest. I am already a bad mother in a month into pregnancy.
I feel a tear drop to my cheeks but I wipe it so fast. My life is prone to disasters and I am used to it. Maybe I’m just a sucker for pain.
I might be ‘the tigress’ but this was too much. Another tear comes and I do the same but they become uncontrollable. “The cause couldn’t be identified since everything was perfectly fine.” I look at the doctor in disbelief.
“What do you mean you couldn’t identify the cause?” I want to scream. Should I tell him? No. the baby is mine. But he’s the father. He has a right to know. What if he denies it? What if he takes the baby and keeps it then sends me away?
“Ms Styles. This condition happens abruptly and sometimes the mother doesn’t even know that a baby has been miscarried. We’ve run tests on your blood but everything seems fine. Do you have any hereditary diseases or conditions?”
I have no medical records since I abruptly moved here. “Yes. A mild case of asthma. It last attacked when I was twelve years old and since then I have been fine. I was told my grandmother had it too.”
“Your mother has it too.” Mr Brown says in a low voice that I almost miss his words but I hear them.
“What? How do you know that?” His eyes widen slightly. “Um it is just a random thought.” He looks nervous and I nod but I know I would talk to him later. So many things aren’t adding up.
“Is my baby in danger?” Dr Greene gives me a small smile and produces a copy of something and gives it to me. At first I don't understand what it is until I see. the different shapes. A hand lifts to my mouth as tears of joy come to my eyes. It looks like a bean.
The doctor gives me some instructions and soon leaves me to rest since I feel so sleepy that I can’t take it anymore. Dreams of me telling Sydney about my child come to me.
I pace around the hospital room thinking of ways to tell Sydney Kings about the pregnancy. I somehow know he won’t take this so easily. I'm ready to be a mother. Heck! I have no job! I live in a shitty apartment. How can I raise a child? A thought of an abortion comes but I quickly dismiss the thought before it registers in my mind.
The hospital room door opens and Mr Brown comes in with a bag containing my clothes and toothbrush that I had asked him to bring. I go into the bathroom and change into my clothes. The bills are settled even though Mr Brown has insisted on doing it but I have refused. I'm not comfortable with him paying for my bills. I already have lots of questions to ask him.
As soon as Dr Greene gives me an okay to leave, I head straight out of the hospital. Mr Brown is behind me and I can’t help but feel irritated. I stop and turn to him. “Thank you Mr Brown for all the help and care you have given me but I can really take it from here. I assume you have lots of things to do.”
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