After that, he pushed me away coldly. As he let go of me, I fell to the floor with a thud as if I had lost my strength. He looked at me just like he looked at a dump. Seeing that, I was so embarrassed. I regretted it. I shouldn’t have returned to New York today.
Looking down at me, Aaron said sarcastically, “Why not go? Want to watch us have sex?”
Seeing the ridicule in his eyes, I didn’t have the courage tonfront him anymore. I stood up with difficulty and staggered down the stairs, and I heard Aaron slam the door behind him.
When I reached downstairs, I couldn’t hold it anymore. I squatted on the roadside and began weeping like crazy.
Aaron’s attitude made me feel like my heart had been taken away. I couldn’t deceive myself anymore. True, he didn’t want me.
This was something I had used to think about occasionally. But when it happened, I finally realized that I couldn’t be as carefree as I had imagined. Instead, I felt like I was going to die in agony.
After weeping, I still felt like something was stuck in my heart. I staggered up and went to hail a taxi.
Suddenly, I perceived a burning gaze at me. Is it Aaron? I felt some hope without knowing why. I subconsciously turned and looked in the direction of the gaze.
I searched for him at his apartment window for a long time, but I didn’t see him. Hah, I might have had an illusion, right?
Aaron is probably having sex with his fiancée in bed now. Just
remembering that he had intercourse with another woman, I felt I had lost half of my life.
I didn’t think I should keep staying here. The air here felt so thin that I almost couldn’t breathe. A taxi happened to come by, and I got in hurriedly. “Go to the nearest bar.”
After fastening my seat belt, I turned to look at Aaron’s apartment window with a fluke. Not knowing if it was my illusion, I seemed to see a person there. I rubbed my eyes, about to look more attentively.
But the taxi driver had stepped on the accelerator, and the car raced off.
The view I saw rushed past. I looked back but saw no trace of Aaron. I thought something must be wrong with my eyes. Aaron is now making love with his fiancée. How could he spare time to think about me?
When I was at the bar, I felt emptier because of the lively atmosphere.
I sat down at the bar counter and drained two glasses of liquor, but my mind became clearer.
If I calmed down for a brief moment, the life experiences with Aaron would keep flashing across my mind. He had once been etched into my life, so how could I forget him after we broke up?
All the prattle he had said had turned into daggers, which were all stabbing my heart. I stubbornly wiped away the tears running down my cheek, took out my phone, and called Cinder. I was unable to go through the difficult night alone. I badly needed to tell my grievances to someone.
She sat from across me and looked at the table in disbelief. “My goodness, you’ve poured so much down!” She snatched the glass from my hand and snapped her fingers, signaling the bartender to clean the table.
Dispirited, I slowly looked up at the pile of bottles in front of me. It’s strange! I’ve drunk so much, but why don’t I feel drunk at all?
Cinder took my arm and shook it. “Olive, what happened? What’s wrong with you and Aaron?”
“Aaron, he…” I had kept telling myself to be strong for a whole day. Yet, when it came to this topic, I still had a heavy heart. “Aaron has a fiancée, and they’ve moved in.”
“What?” Cinder stood up in shock. She realized that she overreacted, so she immediately covered her mouth. Then she frowned and said, “What a scum! How could he treat you like this? Damn, I misread him!”
She rummaged through her handbag for her mobile phone and took it out, going to dial Aaron’s number. “Olive, I’ll shout at him right away.”
With my hand at the corner of the table, I was to unsteadily get up to stop Cinder. “It’s not Aaron’s fault. It’s all my fault…” Maybe because I had drunk too much, I couldn’t immediately stand up. Instead, with … legs giving way, I fell to the floor with a thud.
On the floor, I didn’t realize what was going on. Cinder had come over in a hurry to help me up. “Does it hurt? Which part hit the floor?”
I feel the pain. Of course, I do! Remembering that Aaron didn’t want me, I felt great pain in my heart.
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