Contractually Yours Alpha (Riley) novel Chapter 523

Chapter One Hundred and Forty Three 

“Have you gone to see the healers?” Kaida questioned. 

+25 BONUS 

“No.” I answered; she got the clue that there’s nothing they could do to help me right now. “I’m fine.” 

“You’re not,” she said. I couldn’t blame her–she might even be scared that I was losing my mind. “How long has this been going on?” she asked. There was something about her voice that kept me calm. 

“Ever since I stopped taking the doses.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me? I told you that we would do this together; you should have told me…” 

“What would you have done?” I asked. 

I saw anger flicker across her face. “You told me you wouldn’t push me away. You promised me.” 

Was that how she felt? Did she think my silence was pushing her away? Guilt settled deep in my chest–a reminder that I didn’t deserve her. 

“I just didn’t want you to worry. You were so happy when I told you about my progress–I didn’t want to ruin that. 

The anger faded from her eyes. “I’m just… I’m just so scared. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” 

I wrapped my hands around her, bringing her close once again and hoping I don’t start bleeding all over her. “This will pass, but it’s necessary. You have no reason to be scared; this is completely normal.” 

Normal? 

Nothing about this was particularly normal. Yet I wanted her to believe that; I didn’t want her worrying. 

“Being close to you helps. Your presence alone makes it all bearable. But when we kissed…” I said, 

absentmindedly twirling a strand of her black hair between my fingers. “I almost couldn’t feel anything–I could almost forget the raging need for wolfsbane. You’re that intoxicating, Kaida.” 

I could see hope building in her eyes. “Do you think you would feel better if we had sex?” 

I would always feel better if we did, but I had noticed three days ago, when I was deep inside her warmth, that I hadn’t cared about anything else in the world–I hadn’t even wanted anything more. She had all my attention. But after our moment was over, the feeling crept back. Yet, I could see in her eyes what she was offering. She was willing to take the pain away, over and over again. 

“I can’t do that to you, Kaida.” 

“This is the only way I can help, and I would.” 

I thought back to when she was in heat–the moment I touched her, the pain had ceased, but when I pulled away, it returned. It felt similar to what I was going through now, except this wouldn’t pass in a few days. She didn’t understand what she was offering. 

“I’ll take a bath and join you. Have you eaten?” I asked. 

“Yes, I have. Are you going to be alright in there?”