Hatred With Benefits novel Chapter 29

EVA.

"What are you doing with a spatula, dude?" The familiar voice echoes into the kitchen and I turn off the stove at the brown rings over the pancakes.

"What else would I be doing with it?" Comes Emerson's response then the sound of laughter and it isn't just from one person.

"I never saw you as one who cooks, babe. You just turned the whole thing around. " I grimace at the pitch of Paige's voice and there's silence before there's the sound of the slam of a door.

"It smells nice in here, Em. Can we have whatever it is you're making? Oh wait— what about that hot roommate of yours?" Another voice that I don't recognize speaks.

"She isn't hot. " I roll my eyes at Paige's voice.

"Well, she's certainly hotter than you and that's fine by me. "

"Fuck you, Leo. " Leo. Leo from the frat party.

"What are you guys doing here?" Emerson's voice asks this time.

"Don't you miss us, babe?" A shudder rolls off my shoulders at the sound of Paige's whiny voice.

"Can you stop with the pet name? It isn't cute, red. " Someone complains and I move from my spot, edging towards the end of the kitchen.

"It isn't my fault all your bitches call you such boring names, fucker. "

"And they are clearly better than you are. " I turn my head to the side to get a clear view of them. There are four standing and about two of them on the couch.

Sage and Jaxon are standing at one side with Emerson and Paige standing at the other side– Paige perched to his side like she always does.

"Can you two stop with the back and forth? You've been at it on our way here. " Jaxon hisses before he turns his head to his friend. "Hey dude, go get dressed. We're heading out. "

"So you all came here to hang out?" Emerson asks.

"These fuckers crashed at my place after a wild night, " Jaxon nods to the two on the couch, ones I can't get a good view of. "Seems like Leo is on a hunt for a new chick, Paige wanted you to tag along and Sage got dragged here. "

"So we should be on our way unless there's something more important you're doing here?" Leo suggests and just as Emerson starts to twist his head in my direction, I'm quick to move back with a racing heart.

"Nothing more important than spending time with his friends. "

"Do you guys want some pancakes?"

"Are you sure you cooked it all by yourself? The Emerson Ford I know doesn't cook. "

"I don't cook doesn't mean I don't know how to. " Emerson responds.

"I don't think we should. We should get going. "

"I want to have a taste. "

"Of course you do. "

"Keep your mouth to yourself, Leo. " There's the sound of Paige's snappy voice before the sound of footsteps draws nearer.

I move from my spot to the edge of the counter and Emerson appears in the kitchen with Paige beside him.

"You were cooking with her?" She says the words in disgust at the sight of me and Emerson gives no response as he strolls toward me.

"Is it done?" He asks and I hum.

"I'm heading out with my friends. " He informs me as he passes me the spatula and I move it to the side.

"I couldn't care less, Ford. " I tell him and his lips curves. "I know, Carson. Keep mine? I'll deal with it when I get back. "

"I can eat this on my own. " I say and he frowns. "We made it together, Carson. It's only fair you let me have something, at least. "

"Fine. " I give in and he smiles before he turns away, leaving me with a scowling Paige. I cock my brows at her and wait for her to say something, but she merely gives me another look of disgust before turning away.

There are minutes of whispers and chatters before they all move out of the house, and I stare down at the pancakes before me.

"N*****x it is, then. "

~

I swipe my hand across my face to wipe my tears at the overly emotional movie I honestly should have stayed away from as I exit N*****x, and the time glares at me from across the screen.

It's almost ten and more than six hours since Emerson has been gone– something I noticed against my better judgement.

I move my laptop to the side and grab my phone to reply to Aliya's text.

ME: Sage was here earlier.

I click on the send button and Aliya's response comes instantly.

ALIYA: For what? Did she speak about me?

ME: She was here with Paige and the rest of her friends. Why would she speak about you?

ALIYA: Nothing, I just thought she might.

ME: Did something happen between the two of you?

My wait for Aliya's text is cut short at the creak of my door and I lift my face from the screen– Emerson Ford.

"What are you doing?" I question as Emerson shut the door behind him and saunters toward me.

"Sleeping. " He mumbles as he climbs on the bed from the other side, and I stare at him dumbly. "Your room is next door, Ford. Are you drunk?" How did I not notice him come in?

"No, " his response comes muffled as he struggles to get under the sheets. "My room is too hot so I need to sleep here tonight. "

"There's the living room. " I tell him and Emerson shakes his head. "Too cold. "

"And how am I to give a fuck about that? It's your problem so you should solve it on your—" the rest of my words comes out as a yelp when Emerson wraps a hand around me and pulls me closer to his side, the phone falling from my grip in the process.

"Be quiet, Carson, " he whispers as he ducks his head to meet my eyes. His chest falls in a sigh as he softens his gaze, "I need it, please. "

Realising the meaning behind those words, I nod and gently slide closer to his side. "Did something happen out there?"

Emersons gives one nod as he shuts his eyes, and I question further. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nuh-uh. " He responds and there's silence before he speaks again. "I just want to close my eyes, and sleep. With you. " He opens his eyes after the last words and the air between us shifts yet again.

I have no response to his words, nor am I able to form one so I look away from him, but that doesn't last long before Emerson lifts his hand to my face, twisting my head to his gaze and cupping my cheek with his hand.

"What do you think you're doing?" My question hangs in the air of the night as I try to take a glimpse of Emerson's hand from the corner of my eyes.

His lips stretch in a tiny smile as he strokes my face with his thumb– the touch just barely but I feel every swipe of it. Slow and soft. It feels good, and I find myself resting more of my face in his hand.

"Carson, " Emerson calls and I hum in response. "Sleep with me?" He requests and I stare down at our bodies.

"We're sleeping right now. " I tell him, staring into his brown orbs and trying to uncover the truth behind them; I end up with nothing. Reading Emerson Ford when he closes off is probably one of the most– if not the most– difficult job to do in the entire world. If he isn't willing to pull down his walls, then there's no way for you to climb through.

"Not this—" Emerson starts, distracting me from my thoughts and my brows raises to my hairline at the double meaning of his words.

Emerson chuckles and shakes his head, as if catching up on my thoughts. "Not that either, Carson. You should have your mind cleansed. "

"You aren't any better than me. " I throw back and he gives another stroke to my cheek– lighter than the previous.

"Move closer. Wrap your arms around me and let me do the same to you. Give me some of your warmth, Carson. " He explains and I swallow down my throat. He needs it– I was able to tell the moment Emerson Ford climbed into my bed with his soft gaze and the lowered voice.

"That's too much intimacy. " I tell Emerson and he nods. "I know. "

"There shouldn't be too much intimacy between us. "

"I know that too. "

"I hate intimacy with you. "

"I'm aware of that. "

"Don't go soft on me after this, Ford, because I won't. I'll go right back to kicking you in the face after this. " I raise a warning gaze to him and Emerson lets out a tiny chuckle. "I hate you too much to do that. "

After his words, I pull the palm resting on my face away and climb off the bed.

"What are you doing?" Emerson asks, but I give no response as I hook my fingers around the waistband of my shorts and drag it down to my ankles before moving out of it. I pull my cropped tank over my head and toss it alongside the shorts, then take my hands behind me and unhook the clip of my bra, leaving me bare to his gaze with the exception of my panties.

"I sleep better this way. " I tell him when Emerson's eyes roam across my body and his infamous smirk climbs on his face when he meets my eyes. "This means I have your tits for the—"

"Fuck you. " I scowl at him. "I use a shirt. " I turn away from him to grab my thin shirt. I clad my chest in it before turning back to Emerson.

Emerson ignores my tease as he pours the drink into the two glasses in a rather classy way and pushes them closer to the front before dropping the bottle to the side.

"You should go first. " He declares and I frown. "Why do I have to go first?"

"I thought it's courtesy for men to let the women have the spot?" He mimics my words from that day.

"And I thought you give no shit about the world's rule and you refuse to follow them?" I retort with the same tone and Emerson chortles before he says, "Go first, Carson. "

"I don't want to go first, Ford. You go first. " I suggest, standing my ground.

"I don't want to go first either. " He persists and I say, "You don't have a choice. "

"I do, actually. We could do this all day; eventually, you'll get tired and give into my demand. " He tells with a mischievous look on his face and I coo, "How cute of you to think of me like that, Ford. Unfortunately, you're wrong like you always are. I'll return to my book and leave you to be bored to death. I honestly don't give a shit whether I play this or not. "

Emerson's face falls at my words and I throw him a victorious smile as he grumbles. "Fine, I'll go first. "

"That's what I thought. " I tease him as he adjusts in his seat.

"Truth or dare?" Emerson asks and I open my mouth to choose one of those options, but stop to ask instead. "Wait, how far does the dare goes?"

"As far as it could be. Anything and everything, Carson. " I don't like the way he smiles after that, neither do I like the look of excitement on his face.

"On a scale of one to ten?" I ask.

"Hundred. " Emerson's response makes me throw away my original option, though I know I'll have to get back to it.

"Truth. " I respond to his earlier question and he rubs his palms against each other before he says, "Something you hate. "

"You. " I state the obvious and Emerson scoffs. "I know how far your hatred goes for me, Carson but I said something– not someone. "

"Oh, " I stare up at the ceiling as I try to think of something before I meet his eyes to say, "Wrinkled book. "

"Something I don't know, Carson. " Emerson hisses and I lift my brows, "How do you know I hate wrinkled books?"

"The face you make every time you sight one?" He replies as if I'm dumb.

"Yes, but how do you know that face? Have you been tailing me, Ford?" I taunt him and he shakes his head. "We've had plenty of encounters, Carson. We went to the same high school, we used to live right next to each other and now we live together. I know a lot of things you probably think I don't. " And I know he's right on that. Without attempting to, we notice things about each other than normal people do.

"Truth or dare?" I ask him, dismissing the topic.

"Truth. " Emerson responds, and I try to think of something to ask him. The only questions I have for Emerson Ford are ones I've always had– ones that shouldn't be asked.

"Why do you hate me?" The words are out of my mouth before I can think back on the words and when the corners of Emerson's lips start to curve in a tiny smirk— I regret letting them slip through.

"Never knew you were so bothered by my hatred for you, Carson. " Mockery creeps into his tone as he speaks and I snicker before I say, "I'm not bothered, Ford. Merely curious. I've always wondered why you hate me. "

"You speak that as though it's one-sided. You hate me too, Carson. " Emerson points out and I nod. "My hatred for you only started after yours. Do you remember what you did during our first meeting? You blatantly ignored me and played a joke on me with your friends. After that, you were rude every time our paths crossed, so I've been curious: what made you hate me?"

"What's there not to hate?" He directs the question back to me, and when I glare at him; he chuckles before lifting his hands from where they are pressed behind him. He pushes his face closer as he speaks, "You're the daughter of my father's rival. "

"So you hated me from first sight because of that reason?" I arch my brows and Emerson bobs his head. "Isn't that the whole point of family rivalry?"

"Maybe it is, " I say. "I just never thought that was the original reason. " When I met Emerson Ford in the new office of my father for the very first time, I was interested in making him a friend, but that was until he stared at me as if I were dirt; trash that should be disposed of and that made me feel extremely shitty about myself. Especially after what happened.

"But more than that, " Emerson suddenly speaks, drawing my attention back to him. "I hated you from first sight because you got everything I've always wanted. "

"What do you mean?" I draw my brows, confused and Emerson seems to think about his words before he let them slip through. "The bond you have with your parents, I was jealous of that because I never got it with mine. I hated you because you have that so easily without having to fight for it– work for it. The first time I met you; your father stared at you with complete adoration and love was the most noticeable sentiment in your mother's gaze for you. You brightened the world around you and everyone seemed to love something about you. I hated that, and I hated you more because you were a rival. "

Through the years of insults and death gazes, constant chaos and hurtful remarks— they were all built because of the lack of affection he got from his parents. All because Emerson Ford was a sad kid.

"If it makes you feel any better, it isn't always fun. " I tell him and Emerson smiles. "You have no idea how envious I was of what you have, Carson. Even if it was a fraction of it— I wanted it. I couldn't care less what comes with having that. " His words make me wonder just how badly he was treated to have had thoughts like that.

"Um—" Emerson clears his throat when the silence stretches for too long. "It's my turn. "

"Truth. " My voice comes out low, a contrast to what it has been from the beginning and Ford must have taken notice of that because his lips turn down in a frown. "You shouldn't think of my words. "

"I'm not. " I assure him as I straighten my shoulders and he gives me one long look before he says, "I want to know. Why was that day a bad one for you? What happened, Eva?"

His question catches me off guard and my lips part barely with no words falling from my mouth. I don't have to speak. I could just grab the glass and avoid opening up to Emerson Ford in a way I've never before, but the words are at the tip of my tongue, and in a twisted, unexplainable way; Emerson Ford is my unwanted comfort so I let the words out.

"Because that day—" I pause and lift my head to meet Emerson's eyes. They are focused on me in concentration and I take a breath before finishing my words. "I lost my other half, and I'm to blame for her death. "