Hatred With Benefits novel Chapter 86

EVA.

"Hey, you're here. " I smile at Aliya as I open the door wide for her and she strides inside my room, while I close the door, taking in several breathes for the conversation that awaits the both of us.

When I turn back, Aliya is standing in the middle of the room, waiting for me and I pace closer to her side.

"How are you?" She asks and I motion for her to move to the bed. She nods and climbs on, taking her seat by the edge while I throw a leg across the other at the center.

"Did I stress you? You returned to school, didn't you?" I ask and she says, "I did. And no, you didn't stress me. I was happy to receive your call. "

"You were?" I lift a brow and she nods, "I was waiting for you, Eva. "

"Were you? Then why didn't you call me? Or text even?" I question and she responds with, "That's because I wasn't sure if you wanted me to. Anytime I try to reach out whenever we fight, you don't respond until you're ready. "

"I'd have appreciated it though. " I lift a shoulder and she smiles, "I know. " Then her face turns serious as her smile fades. "I'm sorry, Eva. For what I said that day. "

I let out a sigh as I stare down at my legs. "Why are you sorry? You were right. "

"No, I wasn't, " she opposes. "I did what I did because I wanted to; not because I felt like I needed to, and I shouldn't have said it like that. "

"I shouldn't have gotten angry over the letter. I was just— I let my emotions get the better of me. " I say as I lift my gaze to her and she smiles, "I understand you. "

"You do?" I say and she nods. "I do. You were stressed, and you had things going on with Emerson. "

"I don't think that justifies the way I acted, though. That's no excuse for it, and I'm sorry. "

"If you keep saying sorry, then you'll make me feel even worse about myself. " She pouts and I chuckle. She follows through, before she stops and says, "How are things between the two of you? Better?"

"You could say that. " I mutter and when she arches her brow, I continue to answer her unasked question, "We're not exactly together, but we're not exactly apart either. We're in the middle, sort of?"

"Is that your decision, or his?"

"Mine. " I mumble with a swallow and when I feel Aliya's touch on my legs, I raise my head to her again, "Do you want that to change?"

"I don't know. " I confess. "I'm scared of getting hurt again, but I also want him. "

"Well, as far as I know; where there's love, there'll always be pain. " She says with a straight face and when I turn my head to the side, narrowing my eyes at her; she breaks into a laugh.

I'm unable to contain my laugh either. "You're quoting me, Aliya Collins?"

"I might have managed to pick a line or two from your book of love. " She teases, and I smile at the excitement on her face before I lift my hand to cover hers on my leg. "Are you okay?"

"Of course, I am. More glad that I'm here. " She answers and I shake my head, "I don't mean that. I meant Sage. You get to see her every day now. "

She nods. "I do, but surprisingly, I'm more okay than I was before it happened. It's like I don't have to feel much guilty for doing that to her now that she's moved on. Trust me, I'm fine. "

"I'm glad to hear that. " I tell her and she hums. When she remains silent, I shuffle closer to her, and pinch her side. "Come on, bitch. Where's my Aliya? This one is well too mannered for my preference. "

"I thought you'd prefer this one. " She proclaims and I shake my head, "No, I want my loud and annoying best friend. "

"That bitch never left. " She winks and I laugh before I move into her open arms, and let her wrap her arms around me.

"I've missed you, Evie. " She says, her voice muffled against me and I smile as I stroke her back, "I know. And I've missed you just as much. "

When she pulls back, she says, "I've been taking notes. For you, and you better have a reward for me because that shit is exhausting. "

"Shouldn't you be doing that for you?" I raise a brow and she frowns, "When have I ever done that?"

"I'm honestly looking forward to seeing you graduate. " I tease her and she shows me her middle finger with a tiny smirk playing on her lips.

"Oh, and I brought you something. " She announces and I move my head in curiosity as I watch her fiddle with the small purse by her waist before she brings out a paper– one that I recognize at first glance.

"You still have it?" I say as she lifts it between us and she nods, "Of course, I still do. It's yours and I have no right to dispose it. Besides, I thought it might come in handy. "

When I take the paper from her, she says, "I know how you feel at the moment, babe but I want to believe Emerson loves you, and deserve another chance to show you why you chose him in the first place. I don't know what that holds, but I'm hoping it'll fix a thing or two between the two of you, and help you with your decision. "

"He left because he thought he needed to protect me, and our relationship. " I tell her and she slides a hand around my waist. When my head falls against her shoulder, I proceed to say, "And it's no doubt that's the explanation this note holds. "

"Will you read it?" She asks and when I nod, she moves away from me and climbs off the bed.

I raise my brows at her, "What are you doing?"

"I just thought you might need some privacy reading that. You deserve it. " She smiles, pressing a hand to my cheek before she strolls out of the room and when her frame disappears, I return my gaze to the paper I have in hand. The one I never got to finish.

I open the note and his handwriting glares back at me as my eyes run over the words.

'Eva. Firstly, I want you to know that I didn't want to do this. I truly didn't want to do to us, baby. Not to you, but I had no other choice: I don't want to lose you, but I also don't want you to lose everything else that you have. My dad knows about you and I, and he's everything but accepting of it. I know, baby: you don't care if they are against our relationship, as long as we have each other and I honestly don't care either. I don't care if I have to lose everything else just to keep you, but then I realized I can't be that selfish. I don't know to what heights Mason would go just to keep us apart, but I know you'll lose more than just your relationship with your parents if I let him do that to us and I can't. I adore the relationship you have with your parents and I don't want you to ever lose that. I know you said you don't care, but I don't want to be the one to take that away from you, and that's why I have to leave. I want to be with you without causing any other chaos in your life, Eva. I want to be with you without having to worry about those that'll do anything to break us apart. I want to be with you without having to wonder what trouble will come our way today or tomorrow, and cause us to drift apart against our will. I deserve to be with you in that way. We deserve that much after everything, and that's why you'll have to be strong without me by your side for a while. I'm leaving for New York to my brother, and in all honesty, I have no idea what awaits me there but if there's anyone who always finds a way to make everything right then it's my brother. So, I want you to see this as me sacrificing time apart from you now so we won't have to do that for a longer time that awaits us. See this as me trying to change the outcome of what's bound to happen, and I'll be back there with you and then; it'll all be worth it because we'll be in each other's arms again. And you probably think this coward of me, but I would never be able to do this if I had to look into your eyes, or hear your voice.

... I love you, baby. Never forget that. Yours, Always and forever. '

I don't realize my eyes are full of tears until the paper is almost soaked with the drops and I sniff.

"Emerson. " I call out his name as my eyes remain glued to the paper. Even after knowing everything, even after he explained his reasons; this doesn't fail to make my heart hurt.

I toss the paper to the side and dab the back of my palm on my cheek to wipe my tears before I grab my phone, and one glance at the screen is all it takes me to remember I have plans with Emerson today.

I'm quick to move out of bed, and I stride to my closet, picking out a short dress. After cladding myself in it, I fix my hair and place my bag across my shoulder. I pause at my bed at the sight of the paper, and I move it between the pages of my book before I grab my phone and walk out of my room.

When I reach the living room, mom is speaking to Aliya while dad stands next to them with a smile on their face.

Dad is the first to sight me. "Princess. "

Then mom and Aliya raise their heads, their eyes roaming down my body.

I look down at myself before I raise my eyes to them, "Um. I have to—"

"We know. He has been waiting outside for a long time. " Mom interrupts me with a smile and I furrow my brows in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"You have to be somewhere with Emerson, don't you? He's been waiting outside for hours. An hour Delilah?" Dad asks Mom and she confirms by saying, "Almost two. "

"You know I'm leaving to somewhere with Emerson? Emerson Ford?" I say the words for clarification, and when they both nod with smiles on their faces, I look back to Aliya who raises her shoulders in cluelessness.

"What's wrong with you?" I ask dad as I return my gaze to him. "You know Emerson Ford is waiting outside for me, and you haven't lost it yet?"

Dad laughs as he moves away from mom to walk toward me. When he reaches me, he grabs my hands as he speaks, "Yes, we know, Princess. We're in full support of your relationship. "

"You brought a camera this time too?" I ask him when I notice it in his hand and he grins, "I love taking pictures of you. Especially when you do something you love. "

"The compliments again. " I mumble under my breath as we stride inside the pretty house and soon, we're surrounded by flowers and their scents while Emerson stands behind me, clicking the camera at every other second he gets.

"Emerson!" I gasp, swatting his hand away as he tries to pluck a flower before I look around us frantically and he puts on an innocent face when I meet his eyes, "I thought these are your favourites?"

"They are there for looking and admiring; not destroying. " I scold him and he winks as he brings the camera up again. He laughs at something on the screen when he brings it down, "You look so fucking cute with your scolding face. "

I shake my head as I move away from him, but I'm unable to hold back my smile.

After a long time of staying around with Emerson being in his goofy mood than usual, we finally make our way back outside.

"I love it when you smile. " He says suddenly as he moves around to stop in front of me and I halt my steps.

"You have your ways of making that happen. " I mumble as I stare at the camera he has around his neck.

"Do you want to know something interesting?" Emerson asks me and I raise my gaze to him. "What?"

He looks around us with a smile on his face. "This is where I first fell in love with you. " When he meets my eyes, he says, "I might have fallen in love with you before our first time here, but this is where I realised that I fell for you. This was where I admitted it to myself. Seeing that bright smile on your face on that day; I just knew you got me within your grasp. "

"Is this why you bring me here?" I ask him and he hums. "Because this is where it all started, without you knowing and this is where I want it to start again. I don't want you to take any breath without me by your side again, Eva. I'm tired of staying away now. I want you back. I need you back here. "

I take a while before I speak. "I read your note. " I take a pause and wet my lips before I continue, "I know you thought that'd change how things went if I read it, but after reading it; I don't think it'd have. I'd have felt the same way I feel right now. Maybe I'd have understood your reason for leaving a bit better, but I'd have hurt regardless. "

"I know, baby. I know. " He mumbles as he closes the space between us and lifts his hands to my face. I make a sound at the back of my throat and shut my eyes to the feel of his touch against my skin before I open them to brown eyes staring at me and Emerson opens his mouth, "I know you'd have hurt and I'm sorry for that. Away from you for those days made me realize maybe–just maybe we could have found a better way. I'm sorry that I had to hurt you to keep you, Eva. But I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want us to hurt each other anymore, so, please; put an end to the pain. I don't want to walk any longer without you here. "

I lift my hands to cover his and move them to stroke my cheek and he smiles, "Eva. "

With a nod, I don't say another word as I remove his hands from mine and turn away from him, heading in the direction of the car.

As I shut the door to my seat, I look out the window to see Emerson standing there confused before he starts to move.

As soon as Emerson closes the door from his side and drops the camera to the backseat, I don't let him fasten his seat belt before I move from my seat to straddle his lap and his eyes widen as I drop my hands on his shoulders.

"Eva—" I slide my hands up his neck and close my lips over his. His hands immediately find their stay on my hips and when I withdraw from the kiss, he's smiling at me.

"Why are you smiling?" I ask him in a small voice and he shakes his head, "You just never fail to amaze me. Does this mean you're mine again?"

"I thought you said I never stopped being yours. " I call him out and he grips my hips tighter, "You know what I mean, Eva. "

A small smile touches my lips and I grip the end of his locks as I crush my lips against his. He moans into my mouth, and I take what he gives me as I slowly start to grind to the hardness begging to break free from his pants, and Emerson swallows my sounds as I did to his as he takes over the kiss. He's smiling against my lips, smiling into the kiss and then his tongue is lowering mine to press his to the back of my throat.

My pants are heavy and the sounds fill the small space of the car as I pull back to take a breathe and look into his eyes.

"I want you inside me. " I tell him and a smirk crosses his face, "Your place?"

"No, the apartment. My parents are back home with Aliya. " I say and he groans, his hands moving to the small of my back.

"The apartment is a long journey. " He complains as he rolls his hips against mine once to show me the reason for that complaint and I glide my hands down his chest, "It'll be worth it. "

"In what way?" He asks and I push my head to the side of his face, swiping my tongue down the skin before I whisper to his ear, "Because I want to be able to chant your name without having to worry about my parents in a room away. "