Her Wicked Proposal novel Chapter 7

He steeled himself and spoke, soft but firm. "Not one of you in this room can comprehend what it has been like for me. I cannot live as I used to, cannot pursue the life I once had. But when Anne came to me, I realized that she may be my one and only chance left to live."

The silence in the room now filled with tension. With that awful silence suffocating him, he started to speak. His friends had to understand why he'd agreed to Anne's offer.

"She has agreed to marry me despite all the things I cannot give her. I cannot praise her for her loveliness. I cannot take her to balls and dance with her. I cannot even go riding with her. That she has come to me over these other men seeking her hand, it lessens the sting of my current condition. I believe, given time, that we may be able to make ourselves decently happy together."

"Decently happy? Cedric, you deserve love, great love, not decent," Godric replied with surprisingly deep emotion. Lucien murmured his agreement with this.

Cedric shook his head. It was so easy for them to believe that. They had both been lucky to find women who loved them. He was not so fortunate. His past was shadowed with far too many regrets and poor decisions. Fate held no such love for him, and decent was in itself a gift.

"It is kind that you think so, Godric, but I do not agree. I've hurt both my family and my friends too often of late and have been a selfish bastard most of my life." He held up a hand to silence the murmurs of disagreement. "I plan to marry Anne in a week, and I wish you all to attend." He let the invitation slip out a little more quietly, suddenly afraid that his friends would desert him.

"I shall be there," Ashton said, putting a hand on Cedric's shoulder.

"Horatia would have my guts for garters if we missed it." Lucien's reply made Cedric snort. His little sister would no doubt have Lucien trussed up in the finest clothes of her choosing and sitting on the first row of the church pew. If only I could have my sight back for one moment to see that.

Godric and Jonathan assured him they too would come.

Charles was the last to speak. With an exaggerated sigh he said, "I suppose I ought to go, if only to make sure you don't trip and knock out the archbishop. That sort of thing is likely to bring lightning down on us all, and Christ knows I've got enough bolts of wrath thrown at me every day."

A rough pat on the shoulder shook Cedric as Godric spoke. "In honor of your announcement, would I be able to tempt you to dine with us tonight? Emily will send Anne an invitation as well. It would be good to have everyone together again."