His Alpha's Guardian novel Chapter 4

**Kataleya’s POV**

I knew this question was coming. It was just a matter of time before Justin finally asked me what the holdup was with starting a family together. In the beginning, we did not use any form of contraceptives and it was kind of a miracle that I did not end up pregnant. Shortly after the Alpha ceremony, we had decided that it would be best that I would go on some form of birth control, just in case, since neither of us were truly ready to start a family.

Even though he said all the right things, I was still worried about the thoughts of us having a family together. The idea of me being a mother was terrifying, but I knew Justin would as least be with me every step of the way, which made me relax slightly.

I think the worry was always going to be there about whether I would make a good mother. How do I balance being Alpha and raising my children? I remembered there were days and sometimes weeks where my dad was gone at conferences or summits and we did not see him. There were just some things that he did not take us to, which was fine at the time in the beginning because those meetings were sometimes boring as hell. I guess that would be a bridge that we would pass when we got to it.

After we finished eating, we packed everything back into the picnic basket and placed the basket in the car before taking a stroll through the park. The Park was silent and it was nice listening the birds chirping and cricketing of the crickets.

Justin and I walked hand in hand, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I was sure that we were both thinking about the same thing. I knew that he was wanting pups. I have known that he was wanting pups for quite a long time, but it never feels like the right time. I hated the thought of bringing up children for fear that he was going to react just like this. I know what he wants and I am capable of giving it to him, but the fear of fucking up is constantly there. He never asks for anything though. He constantly gives me anything that I ask for, even if he does not agree with what I am asking for…

I looked over at Justin and pulled us to a stop. “Is everything okay,” he asked.

I nodded my head before I spoke. “Everything is just fine…we can start trying for a baby…”

He pulled me into his arms, picked me up, and spun me in a circle, kissing me passionately.

“Thank you, my queen. Thank you. Thank you.” He repeatedly said in between peppering my face with kisses. He finally stopped spinning me and slowly lowered me to my feet. We stood there wrapped in each other’s arms before we started moving again.

“Are you ready to leave?” he asked me.

I quietly nodded my head, once again consumed by my thoughts. The weight of my agreement finally hit me…we were really going to go and try for a baby.

We headed back to the pack, both of us quiet throughout the drive. I needed to just get out of my head. I just could not help but think that something bad was going to happen if we were to get pregnant... The feeling settling into my gut was starting to make me feel nauseous and uneasy. As we started to pull into the driveway of our house, I pushed the uneasiness away, allowing my body to relax. Everything will be alright. I just feel this way because I am nervous about being a mom, right?

We walked into the house hand in hand, neither one of us said anything.

I made my first to the bathroom to shower and to get ready for bed.

While I was washing my hair, Justin walked into the bathroom and stood by the sink. I could feel that he wanted to say something, the feel of his were emotions overwhelming me.