Hitched & Hitched Again: A Comedy of Marital Mayhem novel Chapter 341

"Absolutely brilliant idea, let's do it!"

"What?!"

Keaton said, "I'm going to call Elysia now, get her to pick him up. A little bit of drunken mischief, like turning uncooked rice into a done deal."

"What?!" Lowell was instantly sobered by the idea.

Seeing Keaton actually pulling out his phone, he hurriedly stopped him, "We can't mess around like that. Tarquin will have our heads when he sobers up."

"He'd have to catch us first!"

"But he will, we can't beat him in a fight."

Keaton looked at Lowell with disdain, "Are you thinking with mashed potatoes up there? Who said anything about fighting? If he swings, we run. Plus, his drunken antics aren't our fault, right?"

"...I guess you have a point, but won't this screw over Ms. Thorne? She's a good person; I don't want to trick her."

"She's sober. If she doesn't want to, Tarquin won't stand a chance! We're just giving them an opportunity, get it?"

"Got it! But there's one issue. Ms. Thorne isn't into Tarquin like that. If you call her to pick him up, she won't come."

"True... let's just deliver him to her then."

"What?!"

"If she won't come to pick him up, we'll bring the party to her, surprise her."

The two, half-drunk themselves, decided to ship Tarquin off.

So, half an hour later, Elysia received a life-sized package.

No surprise, just shock!

At that hour, Blossom and the kids were all asleep. Only Elysia was up, battling insomnia.

Hearing the knock, she quickly got up, threw on a robe, and walked out of her bedroom.

"Who's there?!"

It was late, and she didn't dare open the door right away, instead peeking through the peephole.

A ride-share driver called out, "Ms. Thorne? Your husband got plastered. I've brought him home."

Stuck with such a "large package" in the middle of the night, Elysia was on the verge of madness!

Tarquin, completely out of it, leaned on her, reeking of alcohol.

Elysia pushed him away!

With a 'thud,' Tarquin fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

Clearly out cold, he didn't even open his eyes from the fall, continuing to snore away on the cold floor.

Elysia couldn't care less and turned to go back inside.

But soon, she was back out again.

If he stayed there, sleeping on the floor, how would she explain it to the neighbors tomorrow morning?

And with the kids needing to go to school, what if they bumped into their father just as he woke up?

She couldn't let him sleep out here!