Hitched & Hitched Again: A Comedy of Marital Mayhem novel Chapter 411

Her eyes were wide as saucers, brimming with earnestness. "I'm telling you! Elijah's dad is a total jerk! Why can't you understand that?" she exclaimed.

Tarquin, trying to maintain his composure, struggled to keep his breathing steady. "And who am I, may I ask?"

"You? Well, you're not exactly a barrel of laughs, but kinda cute, actually!" Elysia pondered, tilting her head as she leaned closer. "Huh? Aren't you Elijah? My son! When did you get so big? Weren't you just five?"

Curiosity got the better of her, and she reached out to pinch his cheek.

Tarquin, visibly annoyed, stood up abruptly from the couch, causing Elysia to lose her balance and bump into the coffee table with a 'thud.'

She bounced back up, "Who hit me?!"

Tarquin could only facepalm. How could anyone be this clueless? It was utterly baffling! Clearly, getting any sense out of her was out of the question for now. The so-called confession she'd made was impossible to take at face value.

Suppressing his frustration, Tarquin helped her up. "Nobody hit you. Go to bed, it's late."

Since he couldn't get anything out of her while she was awake, and there was no chance to pull her hair for a DNA sample, he decided to let her sleep first.

"Why does my head hurt if nobody hit me?" she protested.

"It's all in your head. You're not really in pain."

"That's not true! It hurts!"

"...You won't feel it if you sleep."

"And why are you here and not in the study at this hour?"

Tarquin paused before explaining, "She drank tonight. I came to check on her."

Elijah eyed him suspiciously for a moment then decided, "Daddy, go back to sleep. I'll stay with Mommy. I'll take care of her."

After tucking his son in, Tarquin cleaned up the broken vase, wished his son 'goodnight,' turned off the light, and left.

Then, a thought struck him. He headed to the bathroom and spotted Elysia's used toothbrush. A smirk played on his lips as he realized he'd been so fixated on getting a hair sample for a paternity test that he'd overlooked the toothbrush, which could also serve the purpose. He collected both Elysia's and Elijah's toothbrushes, replacing them with new ones, and left with the samples.

Back on the bedroom windowsill, a cat named White watched Tarquin leave the house, flicking its tail indifferently...