Mafia's Curves novel Chapter 11

FALLON'S POV

Emotions. Such a simple word but the power it holds is indescribable, some people let their emotions get the best of them.. just like I did. Some say emotions are power while some say emotions is a weakness.

All I wanna do is hate Hayden, but I can't. It's impossible for me to do that, it physically pains me. This shows the power I gave Hayden over me and I feel ashamed to say this, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

I think about all our lovey dovey times, he was so warm and loving or its what I thought or what he made me think. Worst ever I turned a blind eye to the truth because I was being to drown in the ocean of love.

Here I am rocking myself in a corner of Hayden's room, waiting for him to give a verdict. There are different scenarios running in my head and none of them are ending well. My brain says to run away with mother and never see them again while my heart is saying to stay and hear him out.

I hear creaking of the door, heavy footsteps come inside the room and the door closes shut. I could feel him here, his warmth, his smell.. his dominance, I could feel them all.

I involuntarily calmed a little bit but my guards are still up, "you shouldn't have been down there." He said and sat down on the bed. I didn't look up to see him but I know he is rubbing his face, like he always does when he is distressed.

"What were you doing down there anyway?" He asked annoyance clear in his tone. I gulped, "I- I went to t-take some s-snacks fro-from the pan-pantry" I sniffed and sobbed pathetically.

I heard him sigh distasteful, a sound that broke my heart. How selfish I am, here a man is near his death and I am thinking about my heart.

"All you fucking do throughout the day is eat, sleep and fuck me and now you're snooping around." His words acted like sharp daggers in my heart. I flinched at his harsh words, "i-i am sorry. I-I n-never wanted to *gulp* to snoop. I-I heard s-screams and thought so-somebody got hurt. I j-just wanted to help" I said in a small voice while tracing patterns on the floor.

He came and stood in front of me, pulled me up by my arms. I looked into his soft green eyes, he pulled me close to him by my waist and put his face in the crock of my neck. I hugged him back, "I didn't mean to lash out on you" he said vaguely but I didn't care at least he said he is sorry not directly..but he did.

"Who are you Hayden? Why are you doing all this?" I said still hugging him, wanting to take in all the comfort his warm body gives me. He pulled back much to my dismay, "come on first you need to freshen up and come to bed." I nodded and went to bathroom to clean up myself.

When I came back he gave me one of his t-shirt and his shorts. I changed in the bathroom and got inside the comfort of the quilt while he sat leaning to the headrest with a glass of whiskey in his hand. I motioned him to talk he sighs, "you know I don't like to beat around the bush, so here it is. I am the Mafia king. I have Italy and America under my control and for every other power hungry people I am their biggest target. Before you ask no I don't sell humans, that's totally against my morals but that doesn't mean I don't do other illegal shit. I am bad, I won't deny it but that doesn't make me a bad person. That guy you say in the basement was the guy who shot me, it was one of the many attempts to kill me..." I gasped thinking this has happened before, he turned to face me with sorrow.

"...I never chose this life, it chose me. I did it to protect the ones I care about, I am saying this because I care what you think about me. You have become a vital part of me and I cannot have you hating me or worst being disgusted by me, it would kill me. But I promise you I haven't nor will ever hurt an innocent soul, this world is filled with lust, greed, power, money, blood and conspiracy. It needs a better person to lead it, half of the money I earn goes to the orphanage and charity not because I want to show off but because there are people who desperately needs it."

We sat there in silence, busy in our own thoughts. I could detect true honesty and sincerity. I turned my head and looked at him...really looked at him. He looked troubled, like he is fight with himself. Feeling my eyes on him and turned to look at me, "I am not lying, trust me" he said that was enough to break me.

I leaped and hugged him, "I trust you, my love. I really do and I know you don't have any ill intention. People may not know you that much but I do, you have a good heart. You have your walls too high up, so people don't see the real you. I am happy that I could crack those walls and have to honour to know you.. the real you. I know behind your cold, ruthless and uncaring exterior there is a beautiful man wanting to be loved and cared for." I could feel his heart beating faster by my every word.

I pulled back and cupped his face, he looked so wounded and lost, he cupped my hands. "Why are you making this harder on me and yourself. I am a monster, how did you see the good in me, my dandelion?" He asked in a meek voice.

I didn't say anything, I just smashed my lips to his. Unlike our other kisses, this one was slow and passionate. There was no urgency in them, we took all the time in the world.