Reclaiming My Broken Luna (Astrid and Killian) novel Chapter 277

Astrid’s POV

I glanced at him, my chest tightening. "But why does it always have to be you?”

Killian frowned, confused. “What do you mean?”

I shook my head, the words I had been too afraid to admit bubbling up. “I couldn’t love Drystan. Not fully. Not the way he deserves to be loved. And do you know why?” I asked him as he stared at me cluelessly.

“Because I’m still stuck on you, Killian. You’re the ghost I can’t shake. You’re always there, lingering in the back of my mind,” I blurted out before I could stop myself.

He stood there, stunned into silence. For a moment, I thought he might walk away, say nothing, but he didn’t. He stayed, and it only made the ache in my chest worse.

“I tried, you know? I tried to love Drystan the way I was supposed to. But every time, I felt like I was betraying something... or someone. And that someone was you.” My voice broke then, and I couldn’t stop the tears that filled my eyes.

“Even though you hurt me, even though you weren’t the husband I needed, I still couldn’t move on. I still can’t,” I burrowed my face to my hands. I felt so pathetic in front of him, that I couldn’t bring myself to face him.

Killian’s face softened, but there was guilt behind his eyes, a deep regret that he tried to keep hidden but couldn’t anymore. “Astrid... I never meant to keep you trapped like this. I thought... I thought letting you go was the best thing for you.”

“You did let me go,” I whispered, my voice shaking. “But I couldn’t let you go. And I hate that about myself. I hate that I still carry you with me when I know you’ve probably moved on. And now, I’m the one who can’t move forward.”

Killian’s jaw tightened, his fists clenching at his sides. He took a slow breath before speaking, his voice barely above a whisper. “You think I’ve moved on? You think I don’t feel the same weight every day?”

I stared at him, the surprise evident in my eyes. "What are you saying? You married Giselle. You’re in love with her. You were a good and loyal husband to her, Killian. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. You took her out on dates, held her hand in public. You even had a son with her."

My voice wavered as the pain of those memories resurfaced. “Even though you were tempted to sleep with me, you still managed to stop yourself out of your love for her. How could you say you haven’t moved on?”

Killian shook his head slowly, his face dark with regret. “You don’t understand,” he said, his voice thick with something I couldn’t quite place. “It was never love, Astrid. Not with Giselle.”

I blinked, taken aback. “What do you mean? You married her, Killian. You had a child together.”

“I married her out of obligation,” he confessed, his voice growing rougher with each word. “I didn’t love her. I never did. I cared for her, yes, but love? No. I didn’t marry her because of some great passion, some overwhelming need to be with her. I married her because I felt like I had no choice.”

I stepped back, the shock of his words hitting me hard. “What are you talking about? You had a son with her. You built a life with her.”