Supreme Magus novel Chapter 227

After Raaz’s speech made Lith realize how self centered he had been, fatigue overcame him, making Lith fall asleep again.

When he woke up, only his mother stood beside him.

"Mom, what happened to me? Can I have a mirror?" Lith asked.

"That’s something you should tell us, baby." Elina was happy to see him awake again so soon. The fever was finally gone.

"Your Professors say you were alright when they left you at Protector’s deathbed, but when they found you, you were already in a terrible state. You have recovered greatly in the last five days, but I wouldn’t look in the mirror if I were you."

"Please, I want to see the price of my foolishness with my own eyes." Lith squeezed her hand.

When Elina conjured a water mirror in front of him, Lith didn’t even flinch.

Despite all the potions and the treatments he had received, he was still severely underweight. He had no more bald spots, his hair was regrowing fine, but it was still grey. Only his eyes were unchanged, cold and uncaring.

- "Solus, can I use Invigoration?" _{freewebnøvel.coɱ}

"I don’t know." She replied. "Your core is perfectly fine, but your body worries me. After burning so much of your life force, most of your healthy tissues are still recovering. You were left with mostly impurities. I’m afraid that by recovering so fast you may trigger a breakthrough."–

Lith mind nodded. Healing overnight would be impossible to explain, releasing so many impurities in front of witnesses even more so.

"I guess I’m finally as ugly on the outside as I am on the inside." He cruelly laughed at himself.

"Do you mind telling me what happened?" Elina changed the subject. In the past, she had experienced the pain of loss and how hard it could be for someone so young to face it.

- "Between his best friend’s death and his current condition, there is no telling how he must be feeling. It’s better for him to share whatever is burdening him. It should help him recover."– She thought.

For once, Lith was honest with her and told her how he had attempted to save Protector, giving it all he had and more.

"There’s no need to scold me. Now I know that what I did was stupid and useless, just like me."

"No, you are wrong again." Elina lay on the bed beside him, hugging him tightly.

"Stupid? Yes. Reckless? Sure, but it wasn’t useless. You did it out of love because you cared for him. I would do the same thing for any of my children if I had the opportunity. No parent should outlive their children, it’s a pain too great to bear."

Lith nodded. Carl had been more like a son than a brother to him, his death still haunted him. He conjured another water mirror to look closely at himself. Maybe it was the aftermath of his failed spell, maybe it was because of the grieving, but for the first time, Lith felt his age weighing on him.

He felt old and tired. Too tired to keep fighting a losing battle. He thought about leaving the academy. Being there every day would remind him of Protector, also he didn’t know how Linjos would punish him for his behavior.

He also thought about abandoning his family for good. It would mean no more chains, no more ties, no more weakness. He was already tall enough to pass for an adult and with his magic talent, money wouldn’t be an issue.

Solus was deeply scared of his mental condition. She could sense his mind swinging back and forth from desperation to anger, Lith’s calm was only an appearance. She had spent the last days pondering what to do.

Telling him the truth would lift his spirit, but what about the long term? What if one of his relatives suddenly died or they were beyond saving? Despite all of his power, despite his strength that grew by the day, Lith was far from invincible.

Solus had noticed right after he had been hospitalized that his body was rebuilding itself stronger than before, the problem was his mind. It was shattered once again, now another deep scar was engraved in his soul, but it also represented the opportunity for him to change.

Solus didn’t want him to become a saint or a hero, nor to forget about his past. She just wanted him to live his life without letting Carl’s death affect every important choice he made.

- "He needs to learn that loving someone means knowing when to let them go.

I don’t know what I feel for him anymore. It could be love or the childish desire of a little daughter who wants her father all to herself. I know nothing about human relationships outside of what he has taught me.

Maybe I’m just scared at the idea we may grow apart once he has a real girlfriend instead of a high school sweetheart. Even if it’s love, and even if he returned those feelings, I have nothing to offer him. I could have cried and begged him not to be with Phloria, but it would have been just cruel and egotistical.

She can give him everything I can’t. A shoulder to cry on, the warmth of a real embrace, maybe some love. I don’t care what he chooses to do, as long as he doesn’t punish himself out of fear of being hurt."– She thought.

- "Life sure has a twisted sense of irony. It’s only thanks to Balkor’s past that my family is so heavily protected, yet it’s also because of him that Protector died. I must remember to thank him before killing everyone and everything he holds dear in front of his eyes."– Lith thought.

From that day, Lith could finally start eating real food instead of being forced to drink potions while he was asleep. It took him less than two days to be able to walk again, even if he needed help to do it.

Lith would have liked a walking stick, but there was always someone offering their arm to him, to not leave him alone for even one second.

Even if his body was quickly recovering, his psychological trauma was only getting worse. Ever since he had regained his consciousness, his eyes kept acting weird. If he looked at someone long enough, Lith would start to see odd things.

The first time, it happened with Phloria, since she was the one spending the most time with him. She was telling him about what had happened to the academy and the Griffon Kingdom while he was unconscious when he saw an invisible hand cut her throat.

Blood spilled everywhere, leaving Lith incapable of moving from the shock. The moment he blinked, Phloria was alright again, like nothing had happened. Then, he watched her aging decades with each passing second.