The Alpha Assassin novel Chapter 87

Ezra helped me meld the scattered pieces of myself. He gave me some new ones from himself that he would never ask back, and I forged some from who we were together.

I had the hardest trouble sorting the pieces of what I used to be, what I was now, and what I could have been. 

I spent so much time trying to mold a persona, so much time perfecting it; when it was gone, it was both freeing and terrifying.

Because I did not expect to have to learn who I was underneath it, the raw, confused, jumbled bits that were left of me.

And I could not mesh them together.

Was there a part of me that wanted to kill? It was an instinct now to start plotting the deaths of all the Alphas who said no to me during the challenge. 

I couldn’t understand if that was an instinct part of me or something I learned, that I created, or maybe someone else created in me.

It was a jarring and difficult thing to try to piece yourself together from fragments, and I would only wish it on my enemies. 

Because it left me hollow, frustrated, and confused.

But I knew a few things, and I clung to them. I made them the steel rods of my backbone, and I tried to build out from them.

I knew Ezra, and I knew he would be there to help lead our pack. I knew Blood Moon was mine and it always had been, but reclaiming it gave me a further tie. 

I knew I would protect rather than harm. Unless necessary. And then… well then, I could and would revel in it. 

The rest of me would come back, or I would make it from shards and chips of things along the way.

I might never be entirely whole, but I could patch myself up enough to make sense of myself—I hoped.

_____

Amelia was a savior of sorts. She kept things running with The Omegas and the packhouse, ensuring there was enough food to feed everyone. 

A note came not long after we started clearing the place out I received a note.

The story of your bravery has reached us. If you are willing, I will send a construction company down to assist you at no charge. 

Another heir claiming back their pack, Isla of Silver Moon Stone

My first instinct was to deny the help, but Ezra insisted that I accept. He told me I would do the same, and I would have if I had those resources, but accepting help with nothing in return felt wrong.

There wasn’t much heavy construction either way, at least with the foundation. The bones of the packhouse stayed strong. Even with that unsettling magic Miles had formed, the carnage of that fateful day, and the windows and doors left open, most of the damage had been superficial. 

But while they were there, Ezra asked about everything internally; I wasn’t sure of the exact terminology to be updated to modern standards. 

I was showing Amelia the new kitchen she helped design, the first thing that was fully renovated.

The stones were dark but the windows were made larger, ample space, and new industrial appliances were stationed around the large room.

“Do you think you can work with this?” I asked Amelia.

“Oh yes, I do.” She clasped her hands together and spun around. “It’s even better than I imagined.”

“Good.” I beamed at her, still overjoyed she agreed to stay on as lead Omega here. 

“Is my office near here, too?” she asked. 

I paused a the door. “If you would like,” I told her. “I haven’t figured that out yet, but it can be arranged.”

“I’ll make sure to keep it unlocked if you need… if you need anything.” She winked at me, and it stilled my heart. 

I closed the door with clammy hands.

She knew…? To some extent, she knew.

____

The packlands had been ready before I was ready to let everyone in. 

I was hesitant—scared.

Worried the new memories would erase the old, that too much would change. But I knew once I got past the strangeness of it all, once the people the would fill the halls were no longer strangers, the new memories would live beside the old.

So, the day came when the pack was moving, my pack was moving, to Blood Moon permanently. I was incredibly nervous even though every single one of them had proven uself in re-building. This was not new territory for them but welcoming them officially… 

I did not know if it was the truth or my own emotions projecting on the lands but they not only were brought back to their original splendor but flourished further. 

The trees grew thicker together, the new spring leaves already thick. The grass was emerald green, and the gardens we had planted took hold immediately. I made sure to plant a separate garden for silent juniper if I ever needed it. 

I checked myself in the mirror for what felt like the hundredth time, frowning at an invisible wrinkle. I breathed through my nose, placing my mother's tiara on my head, this time not as an heir but as an Alpha.