The Billionaire Playboy's Regret (Lark and Max) novel Chapter 22

Lark crawled into her bed at home after Max dropped her off with a gentle kiss to her cheek and a promise to call her later wondering what the hell was happening. She pulled her pillow over her head and screamed into it furiously.

“That bad, huh?”

She peered out from under the pillow to look at her grandmother leaning against the doorframe and groaned. “Why now?”

“If you’re talking about Max maybe because it is the right time.”

“Nana,” she rolled her eyes, “he has the nerve to tell me he f***s around because he’s been trying to use s*x with other women as a means to get over me.”

“Brilliant like his father and dumb as every other man on the planet,” Nana Prue shrugged as she sat on the edge of the bed. “if I got a nickel for every time a man did something stupid involving his pecker in the name of emotional dysregulation, I could buy my own island in the Caribbean.”

She hugged her pillow to her chest. “Half of me still hates him. Every time I look at him, I am the seventeen-year-old girl on a rooftop waiting for him to spare me a moment of his time and realizing he didn’t consider me worthy. It broke my heart Nana to realize it didn’t matter how I wanted it or how I desperately needed him to see me for more than a sidekick to his antics, he never would. I needed to walk away because I was wasting my time on a dream which was never going to happen. I hated him because it was so clear he didn’t value me the way I valued him, even as a friend. The other half of me, after spending time with him and Ollie last night and then hiking with him this morning misses him so much, I ache with it. I don’t understand.”

“I understand your confusion love.” Her nana patted her hand softly. “But the heart wants what it wants Lark.”

“Why though? How? How can I love and hate a person so equally?”

“Did I ever tell you the story of me and your grandfather?”

Lark sat up and shook her head. “No.”

“Well, I met him in high school. We were sweethearts and to me he hung the sun, the moon, and every star in between. I loved him with my entire being.” She gave a single shake of her head, “but there were times when we were married, I would look at him and wonder what the f**k I was doing with a man who made me so angry simply from the way he wiped his lips with a napkin I would want to bludgeon him to death with a baguette.”

Lark giggled at her blunt cursed words, “Nana!”

“No seriously Lark, next time you see him for lunch or whatever, watch the way he pretentiously dabs the corners of his lips but misses the rest of his mouth. He will leave a glob of food stuck to his f*****g upper lip but touch the corners like they’re delicate. Don’t get me started on his bathroom routine or when he started going for plastic surgery all in the name of his image.”

“Was he always like this?”

“No. He got into real estate right out of college with his best friend. Image and appearance became everything to him. I never wanted to be a judge,” Nana Prue said quietly. “He pushed me into it. I was happy working at the firm I was at, but he wanted the prestige which came with having a wife on the bench. He kept saying it was important we kept pushing each other to do better and be more and I always was left wondering why I wasn’t enough as I was.” She took a breath, “but for all of it, I loved him. I never saw myself with anyone but him. I admit there were days I wanted to strangle him for leaving a toilet seat up, but I loved him. Then he cheated.”

“What?” Lark was stunned. It dawned on her suddenly the reason her father’s relationship with her grandfather was strained because her dad took sides. She waited impatiently for the rest of the story.

“A drunken one-night stand, he confessed immediately and swore it meant nothing according to him and he begged me to forgive him. I couldn’t though. Too much time practicing family law taught me once a cheater always a cheater. At the time I was convinced if I gave him an inch and stayed, he would stray again. There are rare people who can change but on the whole, most don’t. The thing is, I still loved him. It hurt like hell, but he broke my trust and despite how deeply I loved him, I couldn’t go back.”

“I’m sorry you went through that,” Lark whispered sadly.

“The thing is Lark he remains the greatest love of my life. Despite the one-night stand, the need to be seen, the pretentious behavior, there isn’t a day which goes by I don’t think of him in one form or another. I refused to ever love another man after him because I knew none would compare and I never, ever want to give someone else such total control over my heart again. I have from the day I walked out until today put me first and every man I meet at the bottom of my priority list.