The Past Between Us novel Chapter 27

I stretched as I got out of bed. I checked the time it was already eleven, which was unusual for me. I never slept in, not even on the weekends.

I made my way to my dresser leisurely. My eye went to the broken frame which Nichole had shattered a few days ago. Sara and I had stayed up late trying to glue the pieces back together but it didn't really make much of a difference, it was ruined. My heart clenched painfully. The photo-frame had been the last gift my mother had given.

I sighed as I removed the picture from the ruined frame.

It was a picture from the day I was born, my mother told me that one of the nurses had taken it. I was only a few hours old, wrapped up in a bundle of blankets. I gazed longingly at my mother's smiling face, she was looking down at me lovingly.

I cursed as the picture slipped from my trembling hands.

I gasped when a flash of my mother's familiar handwriting met my eyes.

My heart thudded wildly as I picked the picture up and turned it around.

I nearly collapsed.

Neat words were scribbled on the backside of the picture in my mother's handwriting.

I sunk down to the floor as my eyes started skimming over the letters,

"To my dearest daughter,

If you're reading this letter then I have already left.

I'm so sorry my love. I am sorry for all the pain I put you through.

There are things you need to know Scarlett, things you deserve to know. Things I couldn't tell you when I was alive.

I need to tell you the real reason why we left. Why I left your father.

This won't be easy for you darling and I apologize once more for hurting you, but you need to know. This letter is the hardest thing I ever had to write.

Even before your father and I went for the check-up I knew I wasn't well. I'd been having terrible headaches and blackouts for over a week.

The doctor ran tests and the results came out a few days later.

I was sick. Very sick. It was worse than I expected.

I only had a few years left to live.

I was calm. But you should have seen your father Scarlett, I'd never seen him so broken.

Your father talked to the doctor and asked him if there was anything they could do. We were told that there was a surgery they could perform on me before the disease progressed further, if the surgery was successful I would have a normal and healthy life but if the surgery was to fail I'd die.

They told me that the survival ration was fifty-fifty.

I had a choice. I could either having the surgery for a fifty percent chance of a healthy life, or I could spend the next couple of years peacefully with you.

I decided that I couldn't risk it. I'd be grateful for whatever time I had.

Your father didn't agree. I didn't blame him. We started getting into fights. He wanted me to have the surgery. He said that if there was even the smallest chance that I could survive I had to take it. He wasn't ready to lose me.

I knew I was being selfish but I was so scared Scarlett.

I knew I was causing him a lot of pain. I was scared he'd tell you and then you'd ask me to have the surgery.

I didn't want you to know Scarlett. I didn't want to spend the next few years we had together worrying about me. I didn't want you hurting. I wanted our last memories to be filled with love and joy.

But I knew I couldn't give your father that. Every minute he looked at me I could feel his heart-break. I could see him hurting.

It's human nature, people don't like to feel helpless. You can't just accept that the person you love only has a few short years left to live.

I couldn't hurt him like that Scarlett. I loved him too much. So I left. I was so relieved when you chose to come with me even though I knew it was because you were suffering.

A few days after we left your father came to see me. I know I never told you and I'm sorry.

He begged me to come back but I couldn't, even though I loved him so much. I told him not to keep coming back and torturing himself like this. When I asked him to do that, I broke him Scarlett. I broke the man I loved.

Two years have passed and I've made so many beautiful memories with you darling. I will cherish each and every one of them.

A few days ago your father came to see me again. But this time he wasn't alone. He bought Sara with him.

He told me about her.

He wanted my permission to marry her.

At first I was angry Scarlett. So angry.

I wanted to hate him.

But I couldn't.

I saw the way Sara looked at him. It was the same way I used to look at him. She really loves him. I could tell that he had found solace in her. It was hard to accept it at first but I did.

I have so much admiration for Sara. That woman managed to bring together the man I had broken with her love. She'd been there for him when I wasn't. She had embraced his pain.

So I wholeheartedly gave my consent. And I hope Sara and Richard have a beautiful life.

I need you to be strong Scarlett. Open your heart up to people again.

I want you to forgive.

I want you to love.

I want you to live.

I know I was a coward. But I don't regret my decision. Whatever happens I can never regret the beautiful moments I spent with you.

I hope you don't hate me. I wouldn't be able to bear that. I love you so much my baby.

Everything I did was because I love you.

I am always with you.

Love, Mom."

By the time I finished reading the letter I was sobbing uncontrollably.

Everything I'd believed in had been wrong.

The door of my room opened and my father stepped in. He was about to say something when his eyes suddenly caught my sobbing body on the floor.

At once he was beside me.

"What's wrong?!" His panicked voice demanded.

I had treated my father so badly. I hurt him so much and he never said a word in his own defense.

I flung myself at him. Hugging him tightly, like my life depended on it.

"I'm so sorry dad. I read mom's letter. I know everything. I'm sorry. I love you." I sobbed into his chest.

For a minute he stilled completely I could tell that he was in shock but then he hugged me back tightly.

I could feel his own tears falling.

We stayed like that for a long time. Arms around each other. Reminiscing. Crying for everything we had lost.

But in my heart I knew, that moment everything had changed.

For the first time I felt like the past wasn't weighing me down. I was finally looking forward instead of looking back.