The Shadow Alpha novel Chapter 40

I stepped under the warm water and felt my tense muscles relax easily, I tried to figure out a way to comfort Devin, but I kept drawing a blank, nothing seemed adequate enough.

I could never know how he was truly feeling because despite all the hurt and deceit I had experienced, nothing compared to this. Realising that the shower wasn’t helping at all I hurriedly got out and got dressed. I figured that Devin was still in the shower so I decided to grab us something to eat since we had missed dinner, going for our traditional grilled cheese and hot chocolate. I knew he could use the comfort of something familiar, the reminder that not everything had changed for the worst.

When I got back to my room Devin was sitting at the edge of my bed with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, he looked defeated and I hated it.

“Hey…” I said as I placed the tray down on the pedestal beside the bed and sunk to my knees in front of him, he looked up at me and my heart shattered at the broken look in his eyes. He was close to tears and despite what the world might say, crying doesn’t make you weak, crying means you are strong enough to show your emotions and it helps you heal.

I engulfed him in a hug and held him close, he buried his head in my shoulder and sighed deeply, it was a tired sigh filled with tension and despair.

“It’s okay to cry Devin. You’re not weak; you’re strong, so strong!” I whispered comfortingly. After a few moments of me stroking his head and hushing him he pulled away, I missed his warmth, but shoved the selfish thought down as fast as it came. I released him and watched as he stood up and ran his fingers through his dark brown locks; I lifted myself to sit on the bed and waited patiently for him to speak like I know he’s been dying to.

“Why me? Why is all of this happening to me?” he asked frustrated, I smiled at his annoyed look to which he returned with an incredulous one, probably wondering how I could be smiling at a time like this.

“Well darling, it’s simple. There can’t be a rainbow without a thunderstorm.” He gave me a sarcastic look.

“This is one hell of a long thunderstorm, my whole life long to be exact.” He deadpanned.

I sighed and patted the bed next to me; he eyed it for a moment, but sat down. I took his hand in mine and sucked in a deep breath, what I was about to tell him was something I had never breathed to another soul and even though he was my mate it was still hard to form the words.

“Ever since that day when I was eight years old, I had constantly asked myself that question, why me? What did I do to deserve such punishment? Actually, for a long time I believed that I did deserve it. It wasn’t until one day I woke up from a nightmare; the same one that had plagued my unconscious mind for many years prior, but somehow that time was different. I didn’t just dream about losing my parents, I dreamt about all the years before and how much everything had changed since they were gone, how my life made a complete U-turn in a matter of a few days. In that moment I missed them more than ever, I missed their comfort, missed how I was loved when they were there. That day for the first time in six years I didn’t blame myself, why should I?

“Had I known the rogues would be there, I would never have asked them to take me out there, but what’s to say they wouldn’t have gotten to them another day? I mean, even at the age of fourteen I knew that the entire attack was planned. There was nothing I could do to stop it even if I tried, it wasn’t my fault that my parents were taken, it wasn’t my fault that the pack hated me.

“That night I learn that the way people treat you and the hurt they cause you, is not a reflection of your character, but rather their lack thereof. They did me wrong just as they did you and it hurts, it hurts a lot to think about it, all the lies and the deceit.

“Since the day I stepped foot onto the Blue Moon Territory I discovered the true meaning of why Spring comes after Winter. It shows that life can blossom from something seemingly dead. all it is, is perception.