The Shadow Alpha novel Chapter 58

I stripped off my clothes when I thought I was far enough from her and shifted into my wolf form, without a look back I took off running between the trees.

Why does it feel like no matter what I do, it’s always a mistake, someone always gets hurt.

My mood had plummeted gravely, her thoughtless words had sunk in and not even I could deny that they held some truth.

When did I become the person who selfishly flirted with a man who hadn’t found his mate? I took comfort in his attention. How was it any better than Devin flirting with other girls; something that I had only a few weeks ago been so upset about?

I mentally chided myself for being a hypocrite. I knew I owed them an apology and that was a bitter pill to swallow.

When did I become the person who willingly and ignorantly ruins someone’s life? I was so caught up in my own world and doing what I needed done that I had overlooked the impact it had on Devin’s life. He wasn’t distant, because he was coming to terms with the changes in his life, he was distant, because I was the one who had shifted his axis and threw his life out of balance.

The painful realisation dawned on me that this time I wasn’t the victim. I was the cause of my own broken heart and his severed family.

My thoughts held me prisoner, drowning out my surroundings even as I zipped through the forest. My heightened senses were groggy; I was relying on pure instinct to guide me through the forest to my unknown destination.

My body lurched as I skidded to a stop, the sudden halt made me snap back to reality. I noticed the spot in which I was standing; it was the same one I stood in almost five years ago. I stared at my reflection in the calm flowing river and the memory of the first time I saw myself as this beautiful creature flashed through my mind.

‘So much has changed since then.’ I pondered sadly.

‘You’ve grown up.’ If I was stunned by the intrusion, I didn’t show it. I couldn’t.

‘Devin… What are you doing here? ’ I questioned, a little anxiously.

‘Looking for you.’ he smiled wolfishly.

‘Why?’ I probed warily.

‘I don’t hate you Allison.’ My breath hitched at his revelation. I couldn’t even wonder how he got into my thoughts, let alone be able to link me.

‘It’s okay Devin; you can go, I am fine.’ I assured him, silently hoping that he would leave me alone.

‘Allison, please… Please don’t push me away. I know I don’t deserve it, but you do.’ His voice was low and a little sad.

Having his voice in my head was slightly strange, but somehow intimate and in a moment of weakness I couldn’t resist the pull. I shuffled closer to Devin and laid my head against his neck; he stiffened for a moment, but relaxed just as quickly.

‘I’m sorry Devin, I am sorry for destroying your family, I am sorry for being such a terrible mate.’ I sobbed and he whimpered in return.

‘Allie Cat, no. Don’t ever apologise for something you are not responsible for. You did not ruin my family; that was my father’s doing, you only helped me see the truth and I could never hate you for that. In fact, it makes me respect you even more. I know I have a hell of a way of showing it, I have been insufferable and horrible to you these past few weeks, but I do. I respect you so much more than you’ll ever know and you are in no possible way a terrible mate or anything as such. You were there for me through it all and no matter what I did, you stuck by me.’ no matter how convincing he sounded and as close to the truth as he was, I couldn’t find it in me to believe him so I remained silent.

‘I was so caught up in my own misery that I isolated myself from the world. I convinced myself that I was better off alone, that everyone would just betray me in the end like my so called parents did, so I pushed you away.’ I pushed away from him feeling hurt by his assumption that I would hurt him and lie to him the way they did.