The Space Spoon novel Chapter 103

A/N: A Halloween special side story, Meat Suit shows the events through the eyes of a normal, human nerd. Enjoy!

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Halloween, the greatest night of the year. The time when I can go out with friends and be awkward as usual without getting a stare.

I look in the mirror and see the dashing vampire I transform into every time I put on this ancient outfit. With extreme care, I place a black handkerchief in my pocket, covering the hole that reveals the lining. This year, I intended to get a new costume, but the latest game in the R****** E*** franchise and H***** 3 prevented me from doing so. They were released this year, and I had to get them, and then some.

Sorry for not disclosing their names, but even in my diary, I avoid needless advertising. And don't make fun of me for keeping a diary in my thirties. Many people keep diaries, but they call them journals to appear more sophisticated and mature.

The black costume’s collar is up to my ears, letting everyone see the red embroidered interior. I am so cool!

I stroll to my favorite pub, The Forum. Oh, don’t think about a Roman forum with stone columns and marble counters. Just a plain old dump in which you can drink and mumble weird shit without anyone truly noticing you. The perfect place for me and my friends.

Nothing different than usual inside the Forum. Just Halloween decorations and bumped-up price tags for a witch on a stick stirrer.

My three pals, Steve, Dan, and Rob, laugh, seated at our regular spot. All have their beers on the table, and there's one in front of my vacant chair as well. "What's brewing?" I ask, slumping into my seat.

“Oh, I bet you haven’t heard this one,” Steve says, still laughing. “What does a hobo do at a computer?” He doesn’t wait for a response. “Scours through the recycle bin.”

They all laugh again at the same joke they laughed at a few seconds ago. That is why they are amazing. I don’t have this amount of fun anywhere else.

In the dissonance of their crazy giggles, my gaze falls on a guy at the bar. Neat costume!

Every time the stranger looks down at his glass, the two horns protruding from his head tip their pointy ends at the bartender. I'm curious if those big shoulders are his or if the garment includes cushions on the inside.

I tilt my head toward the guy at the bar. “Hey, guys, check out that dude’s costume!”

"Give us a link so we can view it," Dan responds, and everyone laughs once again. "Oh, I can't quit laughing at my own jokes. Someone help me! I'm going to choke soon."

Rob gives him the solution. “Press F1 and shut up.”

The giggles continue.

I grin and keep looking at those beautiful horns. I'm sure it's an exorbitantly priced outfit. My feet quiver. I want to go over there and take a closer look. Damn! I'll need a few more beers before I'm brave enough to attempt anything like that. I'm hoping he won't leave before then.

The bitter, frothy alcohol keeps flowing down my throat for about an hour while I work up the courage to approach him. Hell! After my seventh drink, I'm feeling a little more up to the challenge. I get out of my chair and, stumbling, make my way through the room up to the bar. My body's ability to be uniquely influenced by alcohol is what I refer to as my superpower. My legs absorb all of the haze, but my head and eyes remain clear. It's the same old me but with extra balls.