There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL) novel Chapter 118

Chapter 118: Chapter 114. Restraint and Reward

The sailing around the lake felt too short, but they had to come back when the sun was setting.

Looking outside the glass wall of his hotel bedroom toward the dark lake later that night, Zein wondered if it was possible to sail in Althrea’s river and moat. He reckoned it was wide enough, although Zein had no clue about the depth.

"You’re not getting bored of it, huh?" Bassena chuckled at the guide, who was standing before the wall with a drink in his hand, enjoying his moment before sleep.

"Why would I be?" Zein replied easily, only glancing at the esper through the reflection on the glass.

It took him twenty-seven years to see his first clean, fresh river and lake that could be drunk directly without the need for many filtering machines to get rid of the miasma infused in the water. Zein didn’t think he would get bored of staring at them anytime soon. _{fɾēewebnσveℓ.com}

No, he was sure he would never get bored of the scenery even if he had a house overlooking a sea someday.

"Hmm...you said once that my core looks like a sea, right?" Bassena sat on the edge of the bed, tilting his head in reminiscence. "Is your visualization all related to water?"

"Yeah," Zein nodded in reply. "I don’t know why though,"

He had a thought that it happened because people constantly said his eyes looked like a sea, making him want to see it, and manifest the visualization. But perhaps it was a normal thing, since coming across a good source of water was the dream of everyone living in the endzones.

"So you see different types of water in every person?" Bassena raised his brow.

"Yep,"

"Seas, lakes, rivers, ponds?" Bassena rubbed his chin while making a list. "Fish tank? Bathtub?"

Zein laughed at that, and finally turned around to look at the esper properly. The man was lounging casually on the bed, leaning back on his arm and bringing a scent of fresh expensive body wash.

"Haven’t seen the last two," the guide put his drink on the table there, before leaning on the glass wall and crossing his arms. "But there’s a puddle."

"...a puddle."

"Yeah,"

"Like the one forming on the ground after rain?" Bassena pressed his lips to stifle a laugh. No--he shouldn’t laugh at other’s core size, but...

"Uh-huh," Zein smirked for a second, before his mind recalled the shape he witnessed during his early days as a guide.

Ironically--or perhaps not--since he was working for a rogue guild with good-for-nothing espers, the visual he received as he guided them was just as muddled and dirty as the water source in the red-zone itself. There was nothing nice about cleansing those people, and he felt like the world just mocked his desire to see nice bodies of water.

"I saw a lot of muddy, dirty things in people’s core. River drenched in blood, disgusting bog...a cesspool really," Zein chuckled bitterly at the memory. Perhaps that was why he had grown so numb over the years. Sometimes he’d just guide good mercenaries for free so that his mind wouldn’t go crazy with all the mentally disturbing visuals.

Bassena, who’d grow silent at Zein’s words, opened his mouth carefully. "What about mine?"

"You?" Zein shifted his gaze from the ceiling to the esper, who looked at him with worry and anxiety written on his face. Zein wondered where the confidence this man usually had was. "Yours doesn’t feel dirty," Zein said with a subtle smile. "It’s just big and dark."

But the water itself felt clean, almost pure. And warm. It was nothing but comfortable for Zein. It did feel a little bit lonely, but loneliness was a usual thing for Zein, so it didn’t bother him. More than anything, it felt calm there, as if he was drifting inside an infinite world, where no one would be able to disturb him.

"Perhaps you just haven’t found it...the dirty part," Bassena replied quietly, frowning slightly while staring at the floor.

"Well, it’s vast and deep after all," Zein observed the esper, who seemed unusually restless. "Do you feel dirty?"

"Sometimes," Bassena laughed in self-depreciation, looking up toward the guide with a wry smile. "I’m quite afraid you’ll find out about it."

Watching this rare display of insecurity, Zein left the glass window and walked toward the esper. "Tell me then, so I don’t have to find out about it in an uncomfortable way."

"Is there any way to make it not uncomfortable?"

"Named one thing then," Zein shrugged. "You can start with one."

"Like a confessional?"

"Whatever you call it," the guide stopped just a few steps from the bed, looking keenly at Bassena. "Tell me something you rather have me hear from you than from someone else."

Bassena looked up, almost seemed like he stopped breathing for a moment. A rare case of fear flashed on his face--for what could scare him the most other than having his existence getting smeared by dirty ink in Zein’s mind?

"I..." he started to open his mouth, but find it difficult to continue. It was normal, to want to appear good, as the best version of yourself in front of someone you court. But there was always an underlying fear of your beloved finding your bad side and feeling disappointed.