There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL) novel Chapter 187

Chapter 187: Chapter 181. The Edge of a Cliff

There were so many nights when Bassena imagined intimate moments with Zein. A lot of time spent picturing the moments when he would, finally, had the permission to embrace the guide in the best and truest sense.

None of them involved the use of alcohol and palpable depression.

So, even when the love of his life was all over him, gripping his hair and grabbing his lapel for another kiss while their bodies were sticking to each other, he took a deep breath and pulled away.

"What are you doing, Zein?" he grabbed the guide’s shoulder and pushed the man back as gently as he could.

But the devil worked harder.

"What’s wrong?" Zein tilted his head, face slightly flushed but otherwise looked like he was sober, which made it harder for Bassena to stave the temptation away. Especially when Zein leaned his face closer, lips hovering above the esper’s ears, and whispered in a sultry voice. "Isn’t this what you always want?"

It is--Bassena gritted his teeth as he felt Zein grind on him, a slightly cold hand slid over his neck. By God--he didn’t think it was seductive, but feeling Zein all over him was...

No--not like this.

"Let’s not do this," Bassena sighed, tilting his head away from the sultry gaze. "You’re drunk."

And for that, Zein just chuckled--giggled. He looked up and made a disappointed face, fingers trailing down to the solid, trained chest as he let out a long sigh. "I’m offering myself to you now, so why are you being hesitant, huh?"

Bassena clenched his jaw and grabbed the sliding hand, preventing those fingers to travel further. He was steeling his heart, truly, but Gods! Bassena closed his eyes tightly and Zein chuckled in response, pressing his body more, and leaned into the bronze skin, planting his lips upon the strongly pulsing vein.

"Or do you actually prefer it if I’m...acting cold? Maybe you want me to be more coy? Hmm?"

Bassena frowned and again, grabbed the guide’s upper arms and pulled him away. He looked at Zein with confusion. He got that the guide was drunk and messed up, but...

"What are you even--"

"Haa...don’t play high now, Bas."

Zein grabbed the sharp jaw in front of him, the sultry look turned into irritation. The seductive, teasing voice dipped low and spiky. "I told you to fuck me, didn’t I?" there was almost a growl there, as the blue eyes glared fiercely. "Just do it, like how you always wa--mmph!"

Bassena, who had been trying to handle this as gently as possible, grasped the guide’s mouth to stop the blabbering nonsense. "Stop this!" the amber eyes shook slightly, and Zein stared into them in surprise. "You...are you saying all I want is your body? That I only want to get into your pants?"

Zein stared at the amber eyes blankly, and watched them morph from shock to anger.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Bassena raised his voice despite himself. He let go of the guide and walked away, massaging his temple while pacing back and forth behind the bar’s counter, trying to keep his emotions in check.

And failed at it.

"I’ve been baring my feelings for you! I’ve thought of nothing and no one but you for the past five years! I’ve been--" he stopped, groaning into his palm.

He couldn’t do this anymore. He knew Zein wasn’t in his right mind and those words probably came from a very bad place, but...

Bassena had been struggling himself. Struggling with how everything seemed to reset, with how Zein seemed to avoid him, with how Zein receding into his past self more and more each day. He’d been grasping into that stubborn arm, but Zein seemed to be keen on jumping into the void.

He’d been holding on to this courtship with his feelings alone. He told himself time and time again, that he wouldn’t give up. That he would wait, just like how Zein asked him to.

But didn’t he at least deserve some semblance of respect for his effort? For his feelings? It wasn’t there to be trampled like this. He didn’t harbor this feeling for years just for it to be labeled as a mere product of carnal desire.

"Fuck!" he leaned into the counter and gripped the marble top. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"What’s wrong with me?" behind him, Zein responded with a dry, apathetic voice that send shivers of anxiety to the esper. "What do you mean what’s wrong with me?" the voice started with a chuckle, before descending into a loud howl. "Everything is wrong with me!"

Bassena turned around, eyes widened in shock. He looked at Zein, whose eyes had turned red, brows furrowed deep, and lips form a vicious snarl. The man was seething, but that anger wasn’t directed at Bassena.

Just like in the last dungeon, Zein was angry at himself, more than anything.

While he was still frozen in shock, Zein had already arrived in front of him again, asking with a sneer on his face. "You want my heart? You want my feelings? Why?" the guide narrowed his eyes; eyes that were filled with anguish, and gripped the esper’s collar. "Why? You don’t even know if I’ll still be here tomorrow."

Bassena felt his heart drop to his stomach. "What--"

"Who knows if..." Zein laughed, suddenly, and his body swayed. Suddenly, that fierceness in his eyes and voice shifted, weakened. "Who knows if that...damn God descent tomorrow and...e-erase me," he finished his words with a bitter laugh that ended up in a slight hiccup.

"When I...when I disappear...you will--" Zein didn’t finish the words, but they both already knew how Bassena might be if he was to lose Zein. Raising his head again, the guide stared at Bassena with shaken eyes, and a voice as soft as a breeze. "So...so isn’t it better if I just...if I just disappear now?" _{ƒreewebηoveℓ.com}