There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL) novel Chapter 189

Chapter 189: Chapter 183. Amber and Sunlight

Zein spent a long time just staring at the ceiling after he woke up the next day.

He realized there was carving on the platform that looked pretty with sunlight pouring into the bedroom. And then he realized the sun was high in the sky already, realizing that this must have been the longest time he spent asleep, and then realizing his body felt wholly refreshed.

By the ceiling and the wide glass door that showed the beautiful small garden on the balcony, Zein recognized the room as Bassena’s. Or rather, it used to be his mother’s room that he took over after he started living here. A simple observation of his position in the center of the mattress told Zein that he was the only one to sleep on that bed.

After spending a lot of time recalling what happened last night while tracing the carving on the ceiling, Zein raised his body and sat on the edge of the bed. There was a glass of water and what seemed to be a serum to cure a hangover. He picked up the serum and rubbed the label, a wry smile on his face.

Turning his head to the left, he could see a pillow and a blanket on the couch, and his heart was tickled by a lot of sharp feathers.

Zein was sure there were at least two other bedrooms in this huge two floors apartment, and even if Bassena decided to sleep on the bed, Zein wouldn’t mind. He couldn’t help but sigh, running his hand at the blanket that was already cold.

People said he had been indulging Bassena--which was true at the start--but really...it was Bassena that had been indulging him lately. The esper truly understood when he needed to stop and when he needed to plow through with Zein. It was hard to believe Zein’s first impression of Bassena was an entitled, overbearing, conceited esper.

From the couch where he stopped to just feel the blanket, Zein could see into the full-body mirror of the coat wardrobe. It was the first time he realized he was not in his own clothes anymore. He slowly recalled, through his vague memory, of Bassena helping him get out of his damp, dirty, vomit-stained clothes and putting him on the esper’s soft white sweater.

He remembered being so...out of it. It had been five years since he cried, and that last time, it wasn’t a good cry; he was alone, he was hurt, he was scared. Last night, however...how should he describe last night?

Like he finally grasped the hand that had been stubbornly holding him from the edge of the cliff, that had been preventing him from plunging into the void completely. Zein couldn’t say that he was completely out of the void, but he definitely had his upper body on the cliff, at least.

It was weird. He felt so relieved, and yet so silly. It was almost ridiculous how light his heart became after a single outburst and a night of tears. Of course, not every shadow and every cloud in his heart and mind had been cleared. But compared to how he was these past few weeks...

"All I gotta do was letting it out, huh?" Zein chuckled, pressing his head to the mirror.

All the things he had been buried under, festering like a rotten wound. All he had to do was screamed and cried until he lost his voice and energy. His eyes looked terrible because of it, but his face looked brighter than ever. All he needed was a pair of arms to support him while he let everything pour out unbidden.

And how silly it was, that he had been doubting and pushing away those arms.

Zein rubbed his own arms, eyes flickered as he recalled the strong, protective grip that enveloped him last night. He could almost feel the warmth of those arms, and the strength of the shoulder he leaned on. And just like the time he saw the water and the serum and the blanket over the couch, his heart was fluttering. It felt constricted, and he was gripped by the sudden desire of seeing the younger man.

He stepped out of the bedroom and swept his eyes to the living room, which was empty, and proceeded to climb down the stairs when he smelled food. Is he in the kitchen? Zein muttered inwardly as he made a turn and almost bumped into a solid chest.

"Oh, you’re up," the esper caught Zein’s startled arms, smile almost as bright as the sunlight pouring through the window. "Good timing, I just finished making our breakfast."

There were a lot of things Zein wanted to say to Bassena. A lot. But he found himself unable to voice them, and ended up with hesitant, awkward "Good morning,"

"It is a good morning," Bassena laughed in response, before walking back to the kitchen.

Zein followed the esper wordlessly, sighing inwardly for his cowardly, and had to stop on his track when he saw the wide spread on the kitchen island. A big bowl of warm soup that his dry throat yearned instantly, some kind of flatbreads, a chicken dish that smelled of spices, a pot of buttery stew, a mound of salad, and a big plate of fruits.

Well, it wasn’t actually that much, but for two people? It was surely a feast.

"I thought you’ll get hungry when you woke up, since we skipped dinner and all," Bassena said while tapping on the chair he had pulled back for Zein with a grin on his face.

Zein was so stunned that he just followed whatever Bassena told him to do; sit here, have this soup first to warm your stomach, dip this bread into that stew, don’t forget your salad, have the fruits. All Zein had to do was sit there being served and having his belly filled with more and more food.

Now, Zein was a red-zone dweller, so he had an aversion to wasting food. So he would eat whatever was given to him, even if it wasn’t good--but there wasn’t much food worse than red-zone stuff anyway. Between that and Bassena’s enthusiastic service, Zein ended up keep stuffing things into his mouth. They were good, but he wasn’t in his burnout state so his stomach’s space was rather limited right now. In the end, after feeling like his stomach would burst, he raised his palm to stop Bassena before he threw up.

Zein smiled, finally, and corrected himself. "Yes, your former nanny--is that the one who comes to clean your place every few days?"