There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL) novel Chapter 242

Chapter 242: Chapter 235. Veteran Lessons

"Really?!"

Abel almost stood up from his seat, eyes widened in surprise. He blinked repeatedly before leaning back in his seat. Of all the things they talked about that day, this was actually the most surprising thing for him.

"Knowing him, I thought he would already beg you to," the shorter guide muttered.

Honestly, Zein thought so too. They rarely spent their night apart nowadays--either Bassena would stay over in the dorm, or Zein would sleep in the esper’s apartment. Bassena was walking on a tightrope between maintaining professionalism and clinging to his lover.

Abel narrowed his eyes and frowned a little bit, stroking his chin and making a serious face--even more serious than the time he perused the application forms. "Is he being considerate? He knew how much you value your privacy," he tilted his head, even speaking in a low and serious tone like an investigator.

"Maybe," Zein nodded in agreement. That was what he thought too. Bassena was truly being careful around him, trying his best to avoid making Zein feel uncomfortable. Perhaps, the man thought he would make Zein feel trapped if he was to ask him first, despite looking so excited at the prospect of building a house together in the future.

And Zein...wondered what his reaction would be if Bassena did ask him.

"I don’t actually know if I would agree, to be honest," he voiced his conclusion in the end, staring at the dark, gloomy winter sky outside the window of their small meeting room. He sighed and glanced at the pile of applicant forms they still need to look at. "There are too many things to think about right now."

The entirety of the reclamation project itself, the unknown sponsor behind Golden Viper, the ’cult’ working together with the force of Deathzone...they just had too much on their mind, too many things to do. Zein had no idea if he could afford to spend time mulling over whether or not he was emotionally ready to live together with his lover.

"Well, we have different concerns, certainly," Abel smiled at the other guide’s conflicting expression. "But I understand the sentiment."

He couldn’t say he understood or knew everything that Zein had to face right now, but if it was about pending things because there was too much crammed in his head, he knew enough of it.

Zein leaned back and looked up at the ceiling, twirling a pen in his hand. "Was it fun living together?"

"Fun..." Abel tapped on the armrest. "Fun, huh? It’s not like we live together to have fun."

The man chuckled, and Zein looked at him with confusion. "We do it because we want to stay together all the time, and not just meet on vacation," Abel shrugged. "At least, that’s how it is for me."

Zein paused for a bit, before fixing his posture and leaning forward to the table, as if he was preparing himself to listen for some lesson. Abel laughed at the sharp, focused blue eyes.

"It’s different for each person, but it’s usually hard to adjust at first," he continued his view in depth. "We will see our partners, and be seen, in our rawest moment. We are bare when we lived together--and I don’t mean physically."

Zein almost laughed at that. "Yeah, I got it."

Even if a couple had a date every day, it would still be different from living together. Like it or not, people tended to put on a bit of a front during a date, putting on a cover as they tried to present the best version of themselves to their partner.

But living together would not only show one’s best version, but also one’s worst moment. Little bad habits and annoying quirks that might be hidden during the dates, or might be tolerable once they came back to their own home and could let out an annoyed sigh without the fear of aggravating their partner. It would mean sacrificing the time and space they usually had to reflect and calming their emotions during bad times, showing all of their vulnerability and weaknesses.

And not every person was ready to bare their soul like that to others.

"We might clash even when we have the same personality, and it’s even easier to have a conflict with different ones," Abel shrugged, giving Zein a realistic outlook. "We live together so it’s easier to see each other. But sometimes, when we come home and found the house empty, it felt even lonelier than before, and we might think--why are we doing this in the first place?"

It was easier coming home to an empty space when we knew there was no one there from the start. But sleeping alone while smelling a partner’s scent on the pillow and the blanket might be even harder than having a cold side on the bed.

"Sounds complicated," Zein, the relationship newbie, chewed the inside of his cheek.

Yeah--he could always look for Bassena to reduce his mental stress. Just feeling the esper’s presence, looking at that adorable face and warm ambers would put him at ease immediately. He’d feel even better with a little bit of cuddle. A kiss would put a smile on him, and a nice intimate session could easily put him in a good mood. _{freewebnøvel.com}