There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL) novel Chapter 250

Chapter 250: Chapter 243. Murky Waters

It was the same field of withered grass. The same patch of red soil. The same glaring red sky.

He felt courageous before, but Zein couldn’t lie that he wished he visited this place with Bassena by his side. Every step that he took toward the memorial site made his necklace feel heavier. At one point, he paused. He stopped walking and just stared blankly ahead.

His body instinctively knew, that this was the place. This was the point where he stood for hours looking at the blazing fire, filling the night sky with the stench of tears and agony. This was the point where he left his old name behind. ’Zen’ was dead here. Even if Umbra did not disappear that day, ’Zen’ would never come back there.

No one urged him; whether it was the Scarlet Moon who knew, or Jock who only guessed. They waited patiently for the man who fought the tremble on his legs. From here, they could see the ’memorial’--a simple large slab of stone with the name of the dead carved on its surface. It stood in the middle of a bald patch of field--even after five years, no grass was willing to grow above the land where dozens of people were cremated en masse.

This was what Bassena worried about, wasn’t it? Zein smiled bitterly, taking out a ring from his storage and putting it instantly on his index finger as he started walking again.

It felt like traversing muddy water at first, the heaviness traveled from his neck to his legs. But with every pulse of soothing waves from his earring, Zein’s step slowly became lighter. He grasped his wrist, rubbing the Paladin’s Tear while taking steady breaths until he arrived at a distance where he could see the names carved on the stone.

They said people had selective hearing; but Zein thought he must have selective vision too, because he could instantly recognize the twin’s names.

Aiden. Hayden. Just two simple names, as Zein had given to the one taking account of that time.

But that was better. He would feel gutted to see that bastard’s name attached to his little brothers. Zein crouched in front of those names and touched the carving gently, as if he was afraid he might break the stone.

Yes, he smiled. They were his little brothers. They always were, and would always be. No matter what blood ran through their vein, no one could deny that they were brothers.

If Zeid had to be honest, he rather regretted choosing to have them burned then. At that time, he didn’t think he would have a future where he could afford a proper burial for them, but now...now that he had the means and the money, there was no remain he could take.

For a short moment, Zein was laughing. A soft chuckle that was filled with both bitterness and contentment.

Ah...he was sure it wasn’t the right attitude to have in front of a memorial, but aside from Svadiva Vaski’s grave, Zein had never visited a remembrance of someone’s death before--someone with a personal connection to him, at least. In Borderland, the dead was either sent back to their hometown or instantly cremated, because burying corpses there would result in corrupted walking corpses emerging.

But surely, his two mischievous little brothers would understand his lack of manner.

"You are my brothers," Zein whispered. "If you were still alive, your name would be Ishtera. Remember that."

Zein stood up after that, and, after looking at the names once more for the last time, turned around to see Jock looking at him keenly. "I’m fine," Zein said with a chuckle, taking off the ring Azure gave him while walking away from the memorial stone. "You can tell Radia that."

The bodyguard smiled amiably. "I’m sure you are,"

Zein scoffed and asked Alma if she wanted to come to the construction site with him and have a little reunion party--which they couldn’t do before in Projo. Surprisingly, Alma refused; probably because she felt bad doing that without the rest of the group.

She did ask for any booze and snacks Zein could give her, though, prompting Zein to laugh while taking out a big box filled exactly with what Alma requested. Indeed, he already prepared his gift from the start.

They promised to meet tomorrow morning for a little stroll before Zein got back to Althrea, and parted ways.

* * *

Zein found out that he couldn’t fall asleep there.

It wasn’t because he had been too used to the comfort of the green-zone. He was already a light sleeper, and staying in the red-zone’s atmosphere brought him back to his old days. Days when he couldn’t feel asleep because he was too afraid something would happen to him and the twins in the middle of the night. Unless he was completely exhausted, it was hard for him to rest properly. Perhaps that was why he sleep easier and longer after good sex.

Unfortunately, today’s activity wasn’t physically exhausting enough for him. And diving into the old atmosphere that had suffocated him for most of his life made his nerves tense. He kind of wished he could talk even just a little bit with Bassena, hearing the esper’s voice and feeling a little bit of warmth.

Ah...it would be nice if he save some recording of Bassena’s show in his commlink, just so he could hear the low, husky voice a little bit.

Hmm, recording...

When it started to get bright enough outside, Zein got out of his tent--which was way more comfortable than any other houses there--and met an already awaken Jock. For all he knew, the man probably didn’t sleep too, since he had to stand guard for him. This place, after all, was one of the most dangerous spots for the guide--easy for anyone to target Zein while Bassena was all the way in Althrea.

"Breakfast?" the man raised a bowl of instant noodles, and Zein, raising his brow, welcomed it with a smirk.

No Radia and Bassena to criticize his unhealthy choice of meal, so might as well.

As they waited for the water to finish boiling, they saw Alma coming into the camping site, looking absolutely sober--as expected of a berserker. Of course, Alma wouldn’t refuse a good nice broth in the early morning for her hangover, or whatever was left of it.