There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL) novel Chapter 405

Chapter 405: Chapter 397. Building One’s Own Tree

Zein stared at the explanation that the doctor sent to his commlink, reading the bold letter in the title. A hysterectomy, it said; the surgical procedure to remove his womb.

The doctor had asked him the same thing from the summer of last year. On both occasions, Zein’s answer was the same; he would think about it. That being said, the reasoning between both was different.

The first time, Zein just couldn’t be bothered. He was just starting to live there, he was busy, and he was still overly cautious about things. But he could feel that his reason for delaying the answer this time was a bit different. What was it?

The sound of creaking stones brought Zein’s gaze toward the pathway leading to the hospital’s park where he was. With two cups of warm drink in his hand, Bassena walked to the bench beneath a tree at the corner of the park. His tall and imposing figure easily shaded Zein from the sunlight that the tree could not cover.

Ah, that’s right. As he received the warm tea from Bassena, he realized it.

It was the future.

Realizing that he has a future to look forward to made him think of...hope. Of possibility. Even if would never come to be.

This silly new thought prevented him from saying yes, even though his rational mind told him to go with the procedure.

Of course, there was also the thing with Setnath telling him to leave some descendants.

But before that, there was something far more urgent for him to tackle.

Zein looked at the esper who had been mostly silent since the conversation with the doctor. No--he had been silent since the journey, and more so during the doctor’s explanation. But the tensed jaw and hardened eyes speak louder than anything.

"Are you angry?" Zein looked up, trying to see the face obscured by the shadow.

"...no."

The reply came with a restrained voice. Distant. Zein smiled with cold eyes and spoke in a dry tone. "Did you say that because you don’t want to confront me?"

The esper did not reply, but Zein could see the tensing fingers around the coffee cup. He understood, he knew, that Bassena would rather endure than say things that he thought would jeopardize his relationship with Zein.

"Just say it, Bas."

"Fine!" Bassena hissed through gritted teeth, crushing the half-empty cup in his hands.

Hot coffee splattered to the ground, and Bassena turned his back to hide his face from the guide. Taking a deep breath, he took out a handkerchief to wipe his wet hand, and Zein waited patiently for the judgment to come out.

Bassena took a sharp breath before speaking again, this time in a more composed manner. "Fine, I’m upset. I’m angry."

"I’m sorry."

Bassena turned around and Zein could see the sharp eyes beneath the furrowed brows. "Do you even know what I’m upset about?"

With a straight gaze and a sincere tone, Zein replied. "Because I lied to you."

Actually, Zein was about to tell Bassena about it. At least, he was thinking about telling the esper about the state of his womb. In fact, if this incident hadn’t happened, he would probably have told Bassena while they were stargazing later that night.

But what did it matter if he said that? He still lied the first time. Sure, he could chalk it up to being cautious and a trick to repel anyone trying to court him, but...what about now? What about after they were in a relationship?

There was no excuse Zein could give to justify not informing Bassena when he was not only his lover, but also his medical proxy.

Surprisingly, Bassena replied coldly. "No."

Zein blinked, and after a few seconds, corrected his word choice. "Because I didn’t tell you the truth."

Again, Bassena replied briefly. "No."

"...tell me," Zein let out a sigh. He had no idea what the answer that Bassena wanted was, and he didn’t want to drag it out.

Massaging the bridge of his nose, Bassena spoke through clenched jaws and restrained emotions. "Because you never think it’s significant enough to tell me about."

Zein blinked in surprise. He didn’t think in that direction, but...

"Didn’t you?" Bassena lowered his arm and stared keenly at the slightly widened blue eyes. "Even after the doctor tells you it’s dangerous, you just ignore it. In fact--" he took another deep breath to regulate his spiking emotion. "You probably forget about it."

It wasn’t an accusation. It was a rational assumption based on what Bassena understood about the man he loved. And he understood that man well.

Zein let out a long sigh. "You’re right," he said, readily so, because everything that Bassena said was right.

He did forget about it until recently. He dismissed the warning. He didn’t think it was important enough for him, and so he didn’t think it was important for his partner. Only recently did he think about it, and still, he delayed the talk until he couldn’t anymore.

"It’s upsetting."

Bassena looked up to the sky, to the canopy of green foliage and pouring sunlight. "Zein, I can protect you from anything," he said in a softer tone. "But I can’t protect you from yourself."