A Gift from the Goddess novel Chapter 84

“... You need to tell me where she is,” I demanded, stepping back towards him again. “Tell me where she is right now or I swear I will burn every fucking bridge to get that information out of you. I don‘t care what it costs.” 

“Aria... I don‘t–” 

“No!” I cut off, grabbing his shirt in my fists and pushing him back up against the door once more. “No, you don‘t get to tell me you don‘t know. I smell her on you, Cai. Tell me where the fuck she is right now!” 

He mustered up enough strength to push me back, but I didn‘t release my grip on his shirt. 

“Aria! I don‘t know where she is. She comes and goes a lot since I‘ve mostly been in bed these days,” he explained. “And she has family. Not in a pack but–” | 

“A human family,” I finished for him. “Yeah, it‘s the same bullshit line she fed everyone here when she turned up after killing Myra. You‘re all morons for believing her. I assume you didn‘t even bother to ask her about it.” 

He just pushed me again in reply, confirming my thoughts, and I finally relinquished my grip, but not for his sake. 

Without looking at him, I then quickly walked over to the cabinet and threw across the room whatever ornament had been sitting on top of it, needing to physically vent my anger somehow. 

“I don‘t understand any of this. How can it feel like she‘s my mate but she‘s not? I mean... it always felt a bit... weak, but the signs were all there. Whenever I look at her, it‘s like something inside tells me she is m y mate. How can you fake something like that?” 

“Who the fuck knows, Cai? Why don‘t you ask her next time you‘re both sitting down together for dinner?” 

“Stop blaming me, Aria!” he then growled back. “I never knew what she looked like! When she was living in the Winter Mist, I was living in your goddamn cells, remember?” 

“Oh, shut up, Cai!” I snapped back, finally losing the last shred of restraint. “You don‘t get to play the victim here. In fact, I‘m done. I‘m so done with all of this. Of you... of Aleric. Somehow both of you have found your way into her bed no matter what I do! Is this why Selene actually brought me back? Entertainment to see how long it takes before I completely lose it?! Because I‘m there. I‘m there, Selene!” 1 

‘What if he‘s lying and he knew it was Thea the whole time, the voice inside finally piped up. ‘What if he knew and is in league with her? What if he just wants you to think he isn‘t on her side so you‘ll open up 

and let him steer you in the wrong direction?‘ 

“Aria! Get it together! I can help you find her but you need to calm down,” he said, taking a step towards m 

1. e. 

...It was just as my other self had cautioned me about. 

And so I quickly took a step back, now doubting even his presence here. 

“No... no you stay the hell away from me,” I warned, my hand resting on the dagger by my hip. “I want you off my territory immediately. I don‘t even care if you talk to Tobias or not anymore. In fact, don‘t. I dare you. Don‘t join back into the alliance and I *promise you* I will wipe your pack off the map again, just like! did in the last timeline. This meeting was only a courtesy... for you.” ? 

“Aria! Wait––” 

“No! I said I‘m done.” 

“Aria–” 

“Get the fuck out of my office, Cai!” I finally screamed, my eyes ablaze. 

He just stared at me, his eyes glazing for a split second under my order, before breaking early, 

It seemed my Saintess authority wouldn‘t work on him. 

Not to say I was aiming to order him like that but it did open up an interesting revelation I hadn‘t expected. 

If I had to take a guess why, it would probably have something to do with him also possessing attributes o f the Goddess. Perhaps it was the same for Aleric too. Maybe this was always the way things were going o end up. That there was no outcome where I could have commanded Aleric or Tytus to stand down given their lineage. 

“You don‘t need to order me,” he growled, finding his composure. “I‘ll leave myself.” 

And, with that, he finally walked out, leaving behind the solitude I had so badly craved. 

In fact, now in the empty office, the only thing that filled the silence was the sound of my breathing, threatening to turn into sobs at any second. 

But I couldn‘t give in to that. 

No, not today. 

We‘d made a promise on my birthday to never shed tears for anyone again. 

If Cai was working with Thea, then so be it. We‘d get to her somehow now we had a link. 

More so than that though, I just couldn‘t believe that all of these months had passed and she‘d literally been across the border in Cai‘s bed the entire time. Given how easily girls seem to fall into his lap, .. perhaps I should have checked there first. 

But all of this boiled down to Selene. Because she had sent me back with no information on the powers–at –be that extended far beyond the normal I knew of. It was as if she had wanted me to fail, setting me upt o lose when the enemy clearly wasn‘t ordinary. 

No, Selene had sat back and watched me slowly die during my first life. 

...And now she was watching it happen again, only this time with more variables. 

Did the first death bore her too much? 

Did she just need a bit more spice for the second time around? 

Well fine. 

I‘d bring it to her 

Since she liked watching so much, I‘d give her a front–row seat. 

And with that, I stormed out of my office, out of the packhouse, and into the forest behind it. 

The forest I used to go running in. The forest where I‘d apparently forgotten something very important. 

A distant memory from another life, almost completely overlooked now, yet had somehow retained nonetheless. Perhaps Selene had intentionally tried to make it that way. 

Because I could recall now the day I‘d come running through here to clear my head, the day Aleric had told me Thea was pregnant. 

...And I‘d seen a woman. 

A woman in a white dress with golden hair who had seemingly made it over the border without patrols seeing her. 

Who had no scent or presence and magically disappeared into thin air when I‘d approached. 

Chapter Eighty–Three 

Who I discovered merely weeks later resembled the Goddess herself, only once I’d met with her in the Abyss. 

Because she might have claimed that she couldn‘t involve herself in our affairs, but it didn‘t stop her from watching us anyway. After living for so long, what else was there for a Goddess to do? 

Well, whatever the reason, I was well and truly done. Done with her neglect, her omissions, her ability to send me back without even a shred of information as to what was happening or what I needed to fix. I was done with this life. 

If she really needed me to change our fate so badly, then she could prove it. No, she could tell me herself. 

“Come out!” I screamed into the forest. “I know you‘re watching me!” 

The sky was already darkening as the afternoon was turning into night, and I knew the conditions were almost the same as that day I‘d first seen her. 

“Selene! Show yourself!” 

But only silence followed. 

“Fine then,” I hissed and pulled out my dagger. “Either come out, or I swear to you that I‘ll make the decision for both of us right now, Selene!” 

And I held the dagger up to my throat, threatening to move it at any second. 

“You think I won‘t do it?!” I yelled when she still hadn‘t appeared. “You think I give a shit about saving anyone anymore? Everyone who loved me either lied or is dead. I have nothing left Selene, no one worth saving. So fuck your laws. If you really need me so badly then you can show yourself or...” 

I pressed the silver into my flesh more, waiting for when she would stop me. 

...And yet, still, no one appeared. 

Did I get it wrong? 

... Did I not matter as much as I thought? 

It seemed she really was committed to calling my bluff. Maybe once I was gone she would just send someone else back to try and stop Thea. Maybe it never mattered if I agreed or not because she would have chosen another poor soul if I‘d declined being sent back. 

...But could I really do this? I‘d come out here to demand answers on the assumption she needed me more than I needed her, that she couldn‘t take the risk of me ending it. If she really wouldn‘t appear... could I go through with it? Was I actually at my limit? 

‘It would be a fitting end, the voice inside said. ‘To have lived and lost everything in both lives is no small thing to endure. But surely the Abyss would be better than this hell? Maybe this doesn‘t need to be a bluff after all.... 

I wasn‘t sure if those words were comforting or not. 

“...Alright, then,” I whispered after a few minutes had passed with no result. “Have it your way. I‘ll see you o In the other side, Selene....” 

And with that, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and prepared myself mentally for what I was actually considering.... 

It couldn‘t be that hard, right? There would be no Aleric, no Cai, no Thea, no wars, no packs, no heartaches or loss. A sanctuary away from all of that was just waiting for me on the other side. If the Abyss could show me my worst memories then perhaps, one day, it could also show me my best. Maybe, i 

wapagay intee 

fI was lucky. I could see my parents and Myra again. Maybe I could finally be at peace.... 

And so my grip tightened on the blade, my heart now racing. 

Just a quick movement would be enough and...— 

“–Stop,” a voice then came from the forest. And my eyes flew back open to see who had spoken. 

Chapter Eighty Four 

Chapter Eighty–Four 

The second I saw her standing there, I quickly collapsed to my knees, my grip releasing from the dagger immediately. 

I‘d been merely a second away from doing it. From ending it. From finally letting go. 

And yet I was still alive. 

I gasped at the air around me, my body shaking from adrenaline as it pulsed through me. 

It had started as just a bluff... but somehow I‘d found myself almost going through with it. 

...Had I really fallen to that point? 

“No,” I immediately barked back. “I told you already. You‘re going to give me the answers you owe me... or we‘re done. You can find someone else to do this. I‘m not participating in your rigged game anymore.” 

She took another few moments to think further on my request, her silence so eerily unnerving, and, as every second ticked by, my own anxiety grew. This was my last hope. My only chance of getting the answers I needed. If she refused to intervene then I would remain lost in the dark. 

It was therefore with her help and influence that many years later her family finally ascended to become the Great Circle of Gods, a now aged and forgotten council in modern days. But to her, this had been everything she had been aspiring for, everything that her family had worked so hard for. Finally, they all