A weekend with the Alpha novel Chapter 88

I placed my hand on his slightly hairy chest and rubbed him slowly. My mind wandered away to the thought of him being here with me like this. I knew I promised to enjoy the moment and not think too far, but I didn't want these moments to end. 

I just got him, and so did Zion. Everything was alright, and losing him was not something I wanted to experience. Aaron seemed pleased with his fate and had put up not much fight against it, but I wasn't pleased with this fate. There had to be a way out.

"You're thinking," Aaron said, and I snapped out of my thought to find him awake and staring at me. I wonder how long he had been awake and how long he'd watched me in my state of thought.

I smiled and nodded. "A little, sorry." 

His hand came up to stroke my face, sending tingles through me. "Don't be sorry." he mumbled, "what are you thinking about though?"

"You," I answered, and I saw the flicker of interest in his eyes as he beheld me.

"Oh, well, what about me have you so lost in thoughts?"

"Your inevitable fate," I answered, and silence descended on the room the next second. Aaron broke his gaze and stared at the ceiling instead, and I knew it was his way of keeping his emotions in check. I wanted to know what his thoughts were at this moment, but I didn't possess that ability. 

"You've gone quiet."

"Because I don't know what to say, love."

I lifted myself onto my elbow to have a proper look at him. "I do. I think you've given up on life and I don't think that's good."

"I have put up my fight. I did for over six years, but it yielded nothing." 

"The alphas that came down with this curse never found the way out and most lived and did their best to preserve their bloodline by siring offspring before their fated date came. There has never been a way out of it. There was only prevention." 

I paused, taken aback by the last line of his words, and turned to him. "What prevention?"

"My fate isn't actually a curse. It's the deterioration of a werewolf or luna because he or she has had a massive amount of power flow through them for longer than necessary without finding balance. I searched for balance six years ago and I didn't find it and so my fate became sealed."

"I don't understand," I said, because the more he explained, the harder it became for me to understand.

"Six years ago, I was in search of a mate. Every alpha needs a mate. But unlike every alpha that just needs a mate, I needed a true mate, one meant for my soul. They would be the only one who can balance the power that surged through me."

He took a deep breath, and his eyes fluttered to reveal his difficulty in saying this. "Six years ago, I was on a mission to find her, and I found you. You weren't a wolf, as I expected. You were human, and I didn't prepare for that. At first, I thought it was a mere physical attraction, but the closer I was with you, the more out of control I was, and I had to succumb. All alphas of my bloodline dating back to the great alpha King Xavier Ainsworth, all had wolf mates, so it made me question everything. It also made me question why I had the feeling I'd have if I met a mate. The moon goddess's ways aren't ours, and so I was going to hold on to you because it pleased my soul to do so. I also knew what that meant. We were two different people, and I wasn't sure you would ever understand or accept me if I was completely open to you."