Ex-Wife novel Chapter 38

Xander Pov

Flashback Continue

Clutching a letter in my hand I took deep breaths to stop myself from bursting out in tears. How will I be able to face her after this? How will I be able to tell her this? It will break her.

It's not like truth hasn't been breaking her but still, this is just too much now. It's been two weeks since that incident. And all this time Mia didn't for once talk to me. I don't blame her at least she's not pushing me away as well.

I took care of her with my everything. I wanted to find that bastard but he and his family just disappeared in thin air. After two days of Mia getting discharged from the hospital, I took her to my house.

I tried contacting Maxim even went to his house. I know I have no right to tell him about the child and I wasn't planning to. I just want him to meet Mia. Beg for her forgiveness and if she wants she can even tell him about the child.

But that bastard just disappeared God knows where. I tried finding him. I even asked one of my trusted men to search for him but nothing. The only thing I got to know that he went to another country with his family.

At first, I thought maybe he will come back but no. He didn't. That despicable man didn't even try to contact Mia. Is this really love? He left her and didn't even look back in her hardest time.

She needs him. I can feel it. She loves him beyond anything. And somewhere in her heart she still craves for him and I can see it clearly. It hurts me seeing her ignoring me like I am invisible. But I don't blame her. It's me who's to be blamed.

But today I didn't know what to do. I was beyond terrified to even face her. I can't hide this for long. She deserves to know. But how. I can't break her beyond her enduring capacity.

I got a letter from the post. There was no address. No name. No specific information. Only my name was mentioned in the letter. When I opened the envelope there were two pages. On one my name was printed.

It was from Maxim. "Hello, Xander. I got to know from my people that you're trying to find me. I would advise you not. I have moved away from the country with my son and wife. I don't want to have anything with you and Mia. I know I hurt her. And I don't deserve her. I should have controlled myself. I should have never gotten involved with her. It was my fault in the first place. I am to be blamed for everything. I have no strength to face her. To apologize looking into her eyes. I am ashamed. Too much ashamed. I have promised my wife that I will never turn my back on my son and her again. I can't go back on my words. I can't leave my family. I love my son too much. I can't leave him. He needs a proper family and my wife and I had decided to give him. Please take care of Mia. I know she needs you more than she ever needed me. She will move on. I am sure she will. Kindly give the other letter to Mia."

Maxim

I didn't fight the anger that burst in my veins. I tore the letter in anger. What the fuck he said. Family. Son. Where was his fucking love for his family when he was fooling a young girl? Bastard. Fucking asshole.

Letting out a train of curses and profanities. I had to drink a whole jug of cold water just to cool myself. I felt like finding him and ripping him apart. His child. I scoffed that the thought. His child. Then what about Mia. What about the child she's carrying?

He didn't even try to find the reason why I am trying to find him like a mad man. Why am I ruining my night sleeps just to have a little bit information about him? Bastard.

After relaxing myself I finally decided to give the other letter to Mia. I can't hide this. She deserves to know the bitter truth. That her so-called lover had abandoned her. Because he loves his son. Asshole.

Entering the guest room. I found her sitting in the same place. On the sofa looking outside the window. This is what had happened to her. Sitting near the window all day. She only eats sleep and remains lost in her thoughts.

Can I blame her? No, I can't. This time that bastard the father of her child should be with her. Near her. Holding her. Taking responsibility of their child but no. He's busy being a coward.

"Mia," I called her making her turn to me. She again looked at me emotionlessly without uttering a single word. This is how she's punishing me. Giving me a silent treatment.

"Here." I wanted to say more but I had no words. I handed her the letter making her frown a little. She slowly took it from my slightly trembling hand.

I watched her as she opened the letter and started reading it. I knew there will be the same things. His love declaration. His beggings. Asking for forgiveness. Telling her to move on. Telling her how ruthlessly he chose his son and wife over of her.

Proving her that he indeed played her.

I expected her to at least shed one tear but nothing. Her emotionless and blank expressions broke me further. My lips quirked is displeased.

Look Xander what have you done to her. Look how much you broke her. It's all your fault.

A voice in my head accused me and I did nothing to shut it up. I silently stared at the girl I broke. She placed the letter on the sofa again folding it. I stared at her silently.

I sighed heavily when she turned her head towards the window again. I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't let her destroy her like this. I can't.

I scooted closer to her making her turn her head towards me. I knew she doesn't trust me anymore. It was obvious from the way she flinched when I grabbed her arms. My grip was gentle but my touch had already left a huge terror in her mind.

I gently pulled her against my chest forcing her head on my shoulder. I knew she was trying to hide her pain. But for how long. Crying doesn't make you weak. It lessens your burden.

This is what my father used to say. And today I knew she needed to let out or she will never be able to save herself from falling deeper.

"Cry, princess. Cry. I know it's hurting you. I know it's painful. Just think the one whose hugging you it's not the man who tormented you but the man you used to call your friend. Just cry. I am here Mia. Just let out."

I felt her shoulders shaking while her body started trembling. She wanted to be strong but finally, her tears started falling on my bare neck. I bit my lip feeling a tear escaping my eye as well.

Her cries at first were almost inaudible but slowly she started sobbing loudly. Her sobbing changed into loud wailing pressing my face deeper in my neck. I did nothing only pressed her against my body trying to give her the warmth of my embrace.

Her cries reminded me of the sin I committed. Reminded me that half of the credit of her pain goes to me. I am as responsible as that bastard was. But I wasn't ready to be a coward like him. I am ready to do anything to redeem what I have caused.

I will do everything. Anything for her to forgive me. Even in doing so, I have to forget about my wishes. Dreams or desires. She's the only one who matters to me. And I will do anything for her comfort. For her peace.

After a while of crying she slept in my embrace I was happy that she at least let her pain out a little. I watched her all night sleeping. For the first time after that incident, she looked peaceful.

The next day I talked to her and to my surprise she replied. I tried convincing her that I will try to find Maxim but she asked me to not. She said she doesn't want to ruin a family. He's happy with his family. So let him be.

I didn't give up. I tried every day to convince her and a month went away. But she never said yes to my advise. And finally, I gave up. I can't force her for something she doesn't want to.

We started communicating more. I did everything to make the pregnancy easy for her. She was still a little distant from me but I didn't mind it. I was ready to do anything to make her life easy at least.

After some days I noticed her being too much quiet. It wasn't like she used to dance all around but still, it was like she always went to her own planet and I had to call her many times to make her listen to me. And it was worrying me.

"Mia what's bothering you. I thought we are doing good. Aren't you comfortable with me anymore? I can arrange another house for you if you want. You can even start your job again. I---" I stopped my chattering when she placed her hand on mine.

"Xander it's just." I looked into her green eyes. And was relieved to find a little bit of shine in them. I hope one day she will get the same brightness she used to have in her eyes back.

"My baby. I don't know what to tell my child when he/she will ask me about their father." I sucked on my breath hearing her words.

I didn't even for once think about this. Even though I wanted to tell her that she doesn't have to fear being a single mother but again. She's just 19 years old for God sakes. She deserves to have a proper life. A normal life, full of happiness.

"I don't want my child to grow up having no father. I don't know what to do. I don't even want to look at another man anymore. I felt like a homewrecker." Her voice broke in the end making me held her both hands.