Inexperienced novel Chapter 21

The car ride is silent. Mr. Gray eyes has asked me if I was ok, but I didn't answer him and just continued to gaze out the window. Memories that I wanted to forget come flooding in. Me crying and coming home, my parents calling the school and finding out it was because of bullies because I refused to answer as to the cause of why I was crying. Them suggesting I go to therapy but only letting me talk when they were in the room and refusing my request when I asked if I could talk to the therapist privately. Never allowing me a door with a lock, or to have any friends over. Never allowing me to go over to a friends house. Constantly arguing with the principal. Always crowding around me, Barely giving me space when I asked for it. Telling me I could watch certain shows and read certain books. Buying me a phone, only for me to discover they can control and see everything I do. Yelling at me and confiscating the first phone I bought myself because they were unable to control it. Confronting me about the things I talked about in my sleep. Sitting with me in every doctor appointment, constantly trying to get me to tell them what I told the doctor when we talked privately. Taking my door off my room and bathroom when they found out I was cutting myself. Refusing to return the doors after about almost a year of me not doing anymore self harm. Shoving pills down my throat when I refused to take them, because of my depression, telling me it's the only way to get the old happy me back. Picking out my clothes for me, not letting me wear what interest me the most. Scolding me for when my eyes lingered on a boy for to long or if my eyes held slight curiosity. Going with me everywhere. Having someone watch me if they were away at work. Calling me at certain times, texting me at certain hours, if I didn't answer they would freak out and ask the person who was watching me to see what I was doing. Creating a schedule for almost everything I did. Every time I tried to speak up or stand up for myself they would just tell me that I didn't know what I was talking about. That I was to young to understand what I really wanted. Causing me to stay silent. For as long as I can remember my parents have been controlling every second of my life. I felt suffocated, small, so alone. I couldn't take it anymore so I left. Returning home, suffocated me, it reminded me of how meek and useless I really am.

"The reason I didn't want to go i-in w-was because of h-how...S-small I feel. I di-didn't...didn't want you to see how s-small and w-weak I a-am," I say through a sob.

"Little one I...I didn't mean for things to go the way they did. I...I didn't know. I should've asked," he replies defeated.

"It's a little to late for that," I whisper, though I know he heard me. The rest of the car ride, not a word is spoken.

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