Kiss An Alpha novel Chapter 27

Okay, I must have really been hearing things now. Only a few hours ago, Kieran had been pissed at me to no end. And now he suddenly cared about my well being?

Fuck it, I'm not complaining.

"Mason, are you there?"

I startled out of my thoughts, realizing I'd never responded. "Uh, y-yeah," I stuttered uselessly, trying to focus over the wild beating of my heart. "I'm here. I just...I don't know what to say. I guess I should start with saying I'm fine, right? Well, no, I'm not fine, but I'm not horrible either. And I'm not going to lie to you, because you're right, I lie way too often. I'll admit, I'm not the most...secure person. I won't delve into that because, honestly, I'm not in the best mental state at this second, and I don't think I can handle it. But I'll tell you this-the Alpha Complex I mentioned earlier is a real thing. I don't expect you to entirely understand it, just know that it's there, and sometimes I can't control it. Maybe that's not an excuse for shit I've done, but it's a reason nonetheless."

Kieran was silent for so long, I wondered if he'd left. Actually, I was still trying to process that we were having this conversation in the first place, and thought that maybe I'd been imagining it. Then he said-

"Explain it to me. I want to understand."

"Oh," I took in a deep breath and let it out as a nervous chuckle. "Goodness, where do I start? It's pretty much like a characteristic, passed from alpha to heir. It's not present in all wolf packs, it all depends on genes. Which is strange, because it's more like a curse than a trait. Since the Alpha and his offspring are naturally superior, they have to have a sort of... weakness, to balance it out. That weakness is irrationality, I guess you could say. It makes you do spur of the moment things without thinking about the consequences.

"Like any curse, it can be broken. There's no set in stone reason for why it goes away-it's just there one moment, gone the next-though I've heard of a few possible causes. An heir with the curse-trait, I mean-must break it before they become Alpha themselves.

"The thing is: the complex doesn't create ideas. It just puts them into action, and I think that is what I hate the most. About myself, I mean. All of these manipulative schemes come from my brain. Maybe I wouldn't go through with them if it wasn't for the complex, but I still only have myself to blame. And I hate that."

Throughout the course of my explanation, Kieran remained dead silent. Ironic, since he was dead. Then, after I was starting to become concerned that the call had disconnected, he said, "That sucks."

I scoffed. "Understatement of the century."

To my surprise, Kieran chuckled. He had such a nice laugh. "Yeah, that was pretty bad. I just don't really know what to say, I guess. Just...just know that you shouldn't hate yourself for it. I know it may not seem like it, but I don't think you're a completely horrible person. I'm not saying we're going to be friends anytime soon, but you don't deserve to feel that way. No one does. So...yeah."

I couldn't ignore the obvious compassion in Kieran's voice. I didn't want to ignore it. It meant something.

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