Konstantin: The Heartless Beta novel Chapter 49

Lily

I wake up, and that familiar migraine is back… the one I used to wake up with every morning after Stefan has been in to assault me. My eyes shoot open, and I sit up with my heart thumping wildly as I take in my surroundings.

Wait…how did I get back in bed?

A frown crosses my brow, and I look at the spot next to me, noticing Konstantin isn’t there. What happened after he found me last night? I remember sobbing in his arms, and then him kissing me, but anything else after that… What?

Swinging my legs out of bed, I take a step towards the bathroom, but something feels off. By the full, uncomfortable feeling in my groin, it feels like I’ve had sex; hard, steamy sex. Wait, did Konstantin and I finally do it again last night? But why don’t I remember it?!

I run to my floor-length mirror and assess my body, noticing the claw marks still at my hips, and Konstantin’s teeth marks were also still fresh in my neck…

What the Hell, we really had sex!

But why can’t I remember a thing? It should still be fresh in my memory, right? We haven’t had sex in over a year, and surely I would fucking remember it, right? Did we get drunk or something? Damnit…

/“Konstan-”/

/“Your demonic side took over last night, Lily; you scented our mate with demonic sulphur and made him pleasure you.”/ my wolf, Gypsy, suddenly speaks up when I am about to call Konstantin over the link.

I blink when she says this, then the reality of her words hits me. “WHAT?! What do you mean my demonic side took over?”

No, it can’t be! That side of me is dead; it died when Stefan did!

/“You made him lay with you; he was like a mindless beast while you mated and could do nothing as you scented him.”/

/“No! You’re wrong; I would never do something like that to him! Not to Konstantin… I wouldn’t…”/

/“But you did, Lily. You forced him, and there was nothing he nor I could do about it.”/ She says, then looks at me with disapproval before laying her head down again.

I walk backwards and sit down on the bed again as disbelief coils in my stomach. I did to Konstantin what Stefan did to me for close to six months… I used him to fulfil my own selfish sexual desires while scenting him.

Bile rises in my throat, and I shoot up from the bed to run to the bathroom and empty the contents of my stomach. The only thing running through my mind is that I basically forced Konstantin to have sex with me… I forced my mate.

“This can’t be happening….” I whisper to myself, dry heaving my disgust as nothing else would come out. “This can’t fucking be happening!”

Sobbing, I lay down on the cool tiles floor and breathe out a sigh, feeling disgusted at myself for what I have done. Half Succubus, I know I will pass on this part of me to my children as well. They will have to go through this, need sex to fulfil themselves and use it as a means to control people.

No… No, I can't allow that to happen. I need to shut this side of myself away and bury it; I don’t want this fucking curse! They can’t go through what I did; they can’t live with this too!

Jumping into the shower, I try to wash the filth from me to no avail… I’ll always fucking feel this tainted, no matter what I do. The fact that I’ll pass this disgusting blood onto my children makes me hate myself even more. I couldn’t control myself last night because I was already an emotional wreck, and just by feeling that way, I dragged Konstantin down with me.

I used him.

I fucking forced him. If that’s not rape, then what is it?!

I level my breathing and set my heart to resolve with my mind made up. I cannot go on like this, I can’t allow my children to suffer what I have, and I can't let others be at their mercy either. Kaia has the spirit of a slumbering demon inside of her; combine that with her Succubus genes and her powerful Volkov blood…she will grow up to be worse than Stefan and Morganna combined.

Something needs to be done, and as I grab my cellphone to call a number I never would have dared to before, I know exactly what I have to do.

—

Konstantin

I’m drained.

As I make my way out of the bedroom, I turn back to look at Lily sleeping and wonder how we got back to our room.

Last night is something I don’t want to experience again, and I can’t help but wonder if the way she acted last night is the real reason she has refused to be intimate with me. She knew about that side of her; she knew that her demonic side was one of lust and craved it. I don’t exactly know what happened, but I do remember her yellow eyes.

So, where does that leave us?