Once My Mate, Always My Mate novel Chapter 18

Sabrina's POV

I pace about in my room, unable to sleep. I sent Xander back to earth because if in fact, he was dying, there was no way I would be able to forgive myself. I thought I had it all figured out. Never did I ever wonder why he was taking so long to heal and if I was ever paying attention during my training.

The only thing I excelled at was combat because I was raised as a beta's daughter and even though I had much to learn in this reality about their style of combat and tapping into my full powers plus strength, it did not take me too long to find my footing, quickly making my way to where I belonged, as the moon goddess.

I want to crawl into my bed and cry, for once again, Xander and I were being torn apart. There was always something keeping us apart and at that time, all else seems useless. What is even the point?

"Penny for your thoughts?" My mother says to me but I roll my eyes because I know she has probably read my mind by now.

Mother walks into my room, walking slowly as if any faster movement would set me off. Here I am, pacing about in my negligee and my mother was too scared to annoy me. What was going on?

"There is nothing I can say that will make this better. Sometimes, for some people, life is better off not planned out for them. I think you are one of those people, the kind that goes with the heart at every turn and every decision you make, you consult the part in you that puts love first before asking for clarity. Love consumes you and every time you have to make the hard decision of sacrificing love for the greater good, you lose it, and rightfully so... But I'm afraid you don't have that luxury. Your life was chosen for you." Mother says to me and I snort in response.

"Is that meant to comfort me, mother?" I ask sarcastically but she ignores my tone.

"You were born to rule and I hate to break it to you but you are not the first, nor the last to ever have to choose something else over love. Be it family lineage, bloodlines are important in royalty and the fact that you are not with child right now should answer that for you. Maximus might have been a lost effort in fate because then, there were no signs that your time for ascension as the moon goddess would ever come to fruition. Granted, your time would come eventually, seeing as you are immortal, the realm was in no rush to get you on the throne but now that you are here, your time at love has come to an end. Be grateful you are fated, you have someone who once loved you, meaning he can love you again later in life." My mother says and I sit on my bed to listen.

With every point she was making, my life seemed to get darker and darker, falling far away from the light and once again, thrown into a deep pit of snakes parading as the life I was destined for. What I believe to be good for me, is always cast aside and I have people telling me what is good for my life.

For the first time in my life, I have myself thinking of Raylene. Raylene ended up being an alpha child but before then, she was just an omega. Her life was hard but she had an advantage I don't have. She craved my life while I, right now, craved hers. How I wish she was alive and we could laugh about this... Right before I ask to swap places with her.