Submission novel Chapter 29

I stared at the neat strokes of green which shined in the faint light emitted from the TV in front of me. I am supposed to be scared of the Evil Dead playing on the screen but I am too occupied in the deep shade of mesmerizing color blinding me in an impenetrable spell. It shined with a new vigor as I let myself drift into the long-ago yet not forgotten memories. The screams and shouts slowly faded into the background as my vision blurred at the recollection of the heart-aching past. I clutched the blanket with all my might, trying to stop the erratic beating of my heart.

I remember the first time I saw green. It is not one of those neon-ish colors which stings your eyes nor is it too dull to make you feel depressed. I don't know what others feel when they see it but the warm feeling I get is because of more than the color itself. It holds some cherished moments which makes we want to go back to the time when I didn't know what depression meant when I didn't know how to silently cry myself to sleep when I didn't know what my future held when I didn't know what my parents did when I heard shouting and crashing noises from the adjacent room.

My life used to be normal once and I wish it would have stayed that way but unfortunately, everything is not always rainbows and bursts of sunshine. Everything just changed from the night when my dad lost his job. He was in a partnership business but something went wrong and he went bankrupt. Something snapped in him that day and since then he has been different. I felt him change from this good person to a psychotic being who would do anything to make sure that others don't get the happiness he never got. 

Slowly my brother followed his steps and became this bully I never wanted. I think he just longed for his father's appreciation, in any way he could get. My mother couldn't handle the depression as she too got drunk under the spell of depression. Alcohol, cigarettes, and other drugs replaced the grief.

The shimmers in the green nail polish strokes on my nails sparkled as I played with my fingers. Sometimes the smallest things in your life can remind you of the things which you thought you forgot. Sometimes it's welcomed, sometimes it isn't.

There are times when I really wonder about how Liza copes up with her problems and manages to become this perfect shoulder to cry upon. It's hard for her too, I know it is but the way she fights through every day is an inspiration to me. She is my idol and I don't care what others think about her, she is just perfect for me. From buying the perfect shade of nail polish to lifting up my mood when I am depressed, she is perfect and I won't ever trade her for anything.

I wonder what she's doing right now.

A burnt face with huge cuts popped up on the TV screen, restoring my attention back to the movie I am supposed to watch. The jump scare was too much for my little heart to handle as I hopped up on Ivan's lap and tucked my head into his chest. I could feel him shake with laughter as my face turned blood red. I sheepishly looked up at him and saw him staring at me with a goofy smile on his face. My self-conscious body tried to get off his lap but his lean yet strong hand stopped my movements.

"I don't have any problem if you sit on my lap, rather it would make this movie night more interesting." He smirked and brought up his finger to smooth out the frown on my forehead.

The squirmish feeling in my stomach forced me to think of some excuse to get off from his lap but nothing came up in mind which I could use as an alibi. I believe that I am a good liar and I am not ashamed to say that I am proud of it. Lying is a defensive mechanism for me and it has helped me numerous times.

 He leaned back and so did I as his restricting hand pushed my back towards him. The rest of the movie I could feel his burning gaze at the back of my head as I couldn't do anything but pray for this torture to end.