Submission novel Chapter 31

Claustrophobic.

A morbid fear of being confined in a closed space.

Your breath gets stuck in the throat and the crazy spinning of your head doesn't stop. You feel that the walls are closing upon you and there is no air to breathe no matter how much you try to breathe in. The puffing of your chest increases as an invisible hand chokes your neck. The heavyweight all over your body crumbles you down. The pain in your head which was initially like a small needle pierces your head into two splits. The gruesome nauseous feeling in your stomach buries itself there, six inches deep. The endless screams which come out of the lips don't stop but keep on ringing in your ears and you wonder why no one can hear you. The black spots in your vision make you blind and the only thing you feel is pain and panic.

You are not dead.

You wish you were.

Maybe that was what exactly I was feeling when I closed myself in my room, trying to run away from the wrath between the two mysteriously dangerous men downstairs. The crashing of the furniture and the sick sound of fists punching into a body was heard with repulsed clarity. I tried to shut my ears and concentrate on the numbers in my phone as my attempts to remember the hotline number for emergencies failed again and again.

My hands trembled and shook with tears falling on them as I typed numbers, erased them, and retyped them again. The phone crashed and shattered on the far wall as I couldn't take the pressure anymore and threw it with great frustration.

I clutched my head, trying to leash my mind back to its place. The distressed scream that escaped my lips took away the last ray of energy out of my body as I collapsed on the floor and gave up all my courage through my tears.

It's just so wrong. Every time I try to rise up and fight back my cruel fate comes back at me with a harder blow, pushing me down on the floor, forcing me to give up, forcing me to submit and every time I do give up because you reach a certain point where you can't take anymore. I am tired of defeat and submitting to the failures in my life.

Not this time.

I won't give up now. If fate has something planned for me, so be it. I will fight till the last breath escapes my lips and I am no more a part of this world. Getting up and fighting back is easier than giving up and feeling the reign of defeat flowing through the veins. I need to do something. Something fast.

The dresser in the corner of the room never felt so welcoming before, neither did the riddled letters. I took out each one of them and placed them on my bed. I ran to the other side of the room, towards the small walk-in closet, and took out my first piece of evidence.