Tears Of A Wife novel Chapter 9

I left Atlas in the kitchen after I said those words. I felt like if I stayed longer, my tears would stream down endlessly. I'm not mistaken, because after a few steps, my tears fell.

It hurts.

It hurts because I know that I'm just forcing myself to not be hurt by everything that's happening. I know that I'm cheating on myself, making me believe I'm strong and I will fight. But the truth is. . . I'm already wrecked, and I don't know if it's still possible to fix.

I walked straight to my room. I locked my door before I sat on my bed. I held my chest and tapped it gently. My tears kept on falling and I could hardly breathe.

I asked myself if I should just be like this everytime? Crying and hiding? Being hurt countless times that I end up being numb to it.

Do I deserve this?

But even after asking myself a lot of times, I know that it's also my fault. It's my fault why I'm hurting. It's my fault why Atlas was angry at me.

There were things that didn't mean to happen and just did. There were things that I would never forget. Things that still made me feel guilty. Things that were engraved in my mind, and so was Atlas'.

I let myself be drowned with pain. I cried my heart out, in hopes that my worries would vanish. But just like a lost bullet, I was hit without me knowing. A bullet that caused me a wound. A wound that turned into a scar in my heart that would never be erased.

I stayed in that position before deciding to stop. I wiped my tears and tried to compose myself. Even if I want to weep and cry it out, it wouldn't remove the pain. Like usual, I ignored the pain. I'll just bury it inside and forget about it.

I took a deep breath and calmed myself. I stood up in front of the mirror. My eyes were swollen from crying so much. It even had dark circles under, a sign of stress that burdened me for such a long time.

I smiled forcefully and scanned myself. I held my face and gently felt it. I also fixed my messed up hair.

I sighed.