Chapter 111
I don’t just like Silas. I think I love him. I’m sure that ‘like‘ is too weak of a word to describe my feelings for him. Ever since we made up, we’ve been spending most of our time together like we used to.
Being stuck in the elevator was one of the worst things I have ever experienced, yet I’m glad that it happened, because Silas and I made up when we were stuck. I can’t get the way he said ‘fuck the boundaries‘ out of my head. His voice is stuck in my head and my body refuses to forget how he pulled me against him when I asked him to hold me.
The thing I love the most about Silas is that he embraces me when I’m vulnerable. I don’t feel ashamed when I’m vulnerable in front of him, because I know that he won’t make fun of me.
Sometimes, I feel that he likes me, but I’m scared of taking the first step. I’m afraid of his rejection. I mean, what if he is just being nice to me and I’m making things up in my head? I wish I could read his mind.
When he gave me the books the first time, he managed to make my heart ache because he gave the books despite the way I acted towards him. He bought them for me again because I lost them in the explosion. It’s not about the gift. The gesture itself made me want to kiss him. I wished we were among his friends at that moment, so I could have an excuse to kiss him.
I don’t know what I can do to make him notice me. I just wish I could find out his true feelings. I don’t want to give myself any hope only for it to be snatched away from me in the blink of an eye.
Christmas break starts in exactly four days and today, Silas is taking me to the gathering his team is holding. I asked him if I could bring Sabrina and luckily, he said I could. I have already bought his Christmas gift and I can’t wait to give it to him. I bought him tickets for the next game of his favorite football team.
My doorbell rings and I get up to open the door. I know that this is Silas.
“Don’t you look beautiful.” I blush at his compliment. I’m wearing some black leggings and an oversized sweater.
“Thank you.” I grin and give him a quick hug.
“Ready to go?” I nod and grab my bag off the kitchen island.
“It’s cold today. Is this heavy enough? Do you need a jacket?” he asks just before I close the door.
“My jacket! Thank you!” I rush back inside and bring my jacket. I put it on the couch to remind myself to take it, but as always, I ended up forgetting it.
“Is Sabrina going to meet us there?” Silas asks me as we get in his car.
“Yeah, she lives close to the house,” I say as I fasten my seatbelt.
“Do you plan on giving me another show in the car, cupcake?” He smirks and I roll my eyes.
“Nope, you’re not worthy of my amazing shows, icing.” I stick my tongue out oat him. “Tell me about some songs that you like.”
“Why?” he asks.
“Just tell me!” I insist. He stays silent for a few seconds, then tells me about a few songs, Luckily, I know some of them too. “Okay, I’m gonna put one of them on and we’re going to sing them at the top of our lungs.”
“At the top of our lungs?” he says, sounding skeptical.
“Yes.” I nod. “Trust me this is the best way to get rid of negative energy.” I grew up with a mum who loves blasting her favorite songs around the house. Until now, she dances with my siblings on their favorite songs just like how she used to do with me.
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“Fortunately, I don’t feel like I have any negative energy in me, but let’s terribly sing at the top of our lungs, Rosie,” he agrees and 1 excitedly cap.
1 put on a song and start to sing along. At first, I notice how shy he seems and it takes him around a minute to loosen up. It doesn’t take us a lot of time to sing aloud, earning, the attention of the people around us in the surrounding cars even though our windows are up.
“How does it feel like?” I ask him once the song comes to an end)
“Pretty good actually,” he says with a wide smile. “Maybe we should do that more often”
“Deal” I beam.
“Hi guys,” he says, letting us in. “Good to see you again, Rosie”
“Hello there!” We give each other a quick hug. I introduce her to everyone and I can’t help but notice the way Knox keeps his eyes on her.
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Chapter III
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“I’m glad you’re having fun and I have a feeling that you’re enjoying your time a lot with a guy called Knox.” I smirk and she playfully pushes me.
“He’s cute.” She blushes and I giggle. “I’m not really convinced at all that whatever is going on between you and Silas is an act.” Seriousness coats her tone.
“I don’t want it to be an act anymore,” I admit. She seems surprised for a second, probably not believing that I’m saying that out loud. “I’m starting to develop strong feelings for Silas and…. I don’t know how to get his attention.”
“I knew it!” She squeaks and I try to shush her. “Sorry. Sorry! But I just love how you two look together. You’re awesome together and I’ve been secretly wishing for the two of you to remove whatever blindfold you have around your eyes to see how you’re truly made for each other.”
“I don’t know if he has feelings for me,” I tell her, taking a deep breath.
“I think he doesn’t just like you. He loves you. If you can’t see it from the way he acts, then your judgement is really clouded,” she points out. I’m really scared of the outcome. I’m scared of losing whatever we have if I make things awkward after admitting my feelings for him. I don’t even think that I have the courage to speak my feelings out loud.
“Sabrina, Rosie, we’re about to play twisters!” Caroline calls for us.
“Coming!” holler, then turn to Sabrina. “Let’s just enjoy our day and think about that later.”
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