The Austin Arrangement novel Chapter 41

Jeremy and I were on the drive back home with silence between us. The walk home was what I needed,but I appreciated that he offered. He didn't have to leave because I did-but he did anyway.

"That uncle of yours tried to give me a lesson on being a husband."With both hands on the steering wheel,Jeremy glanced in my direction to gauge my reaction."I noticed he wasn't married."

"He was married a long time ago. I guess he thinks since my Father isn't around to look out for me,that he would do it for him."I unbuckled my seat belt as Jeremy pulled the car up outside the mansion. I stepped out of the car and walked the steps to the front door.

"My parents are worried about you, they've both lost parents of their own so they kind of know what you're going through if you want to talk to them." Jeremy unlocked the front door and walked inside.

"I'm fine."I walked towards the stairs but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him."What are you doing?"

"It's obvious that fine is something that you're not,Vanessa.You can feed everyone else that bullshit-But not me. You've just lost your Father and I didn't see you shed a tear at his funeral today,surely you know that's a little odd."He was still holding onto my arm and he was still invading my space with his perfect smelling cologne.

"I don't know what you want me to say here. Do you even care how I feel or are you asking for the sake of it?"I don't even know the answer.Sometimes he acts like he cares about me and then other times he doesn't. Jeremy Austin is a confusing man.

He sighed."I think you know that I do. But I don't know what else I can say, I don't do-emotions."

Newsflash,Jeremy Austin doesn't do emotions. I didn't know that at all. The only emotions I've ever seen him express are anger and rage.

I don't know what got into me in that moment,I guess hearing him say that he cared for me and the fact that I just lost my Father made me feel a little like I didn't care. I kissed him!! It's not something that I would usually do,I would never make the first move.

But in this case I did.

I was kissing him passionately,feeling his lips and tongue touching against mine. Feeling the hardness of his cock pressing against me. Not even the thought of the time my Husband was hitting my Best Friend could pull me away. I was numb,so kissing him was my attempt to feel something other than nothing.

But Jeremy broke the kiss. He broke the kiss and looked me in the eyes."We can't do this!!"is what he said,before walking away and leaving me standing in the hallway alone.

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NEW YEAR'S EVE AND THE CABIN.

VANESSA

It was New Year's Eve and Jeremy and I were on the drive up to his cabin for a couple of days. At the time it seemed like a good idea,I'm definitely regretting my decision to rope him into coming up here now since things are so awkward between us.

Very awkward-Like unbearable silence awkward!! That stupid kiss the night of the funeral,what the hell was I thinking just kissing him like that? Our family Christmas with the Austin's was silence between Jeremy and I for the most part. I think both Ava and Tom figured the reason for my quietness was that I was still grieving for my Father.

They would be right in thinking so,at least partly. I'm still finding it hard to come to terms with my Father's passing. Having them both gone now,is leaving a hole inside that can never be filled.