The Lonely God novel Chapter 49

-HIM-

Her place beside me remains empty as I sit in the courtroom and take my ministers' inputs. She is not here but her memories keep playing in my head. The place beside me feels cold, just like the bed without her last night. It's dark without her. No moon, no sun, no stars, no her. It's darker than before she came.

There is this underlying anger inside me and Rey is constantly pacing too. I am angry. I am angry on myself for the things I said to her last night. I am caught in this storm of raw emotions that she raged inside me.

It pains me more than her. Heck, I don't need her anymore and I am sure she doesn't want to do anything with me after what she saw at the well. My past is drenched in blood and hidden away in darkness but she had the nerve to see everything and find out what I am made of.

I am made of greed, bloodlust and loath. I am made of all the sings that a man could commit. Love isn't something that I feel for others. I love only myself but Nefret, she... she somehow found a warm place in my heart which I never knew existed. I hate her sometimes because she proves me wrong. Sometimes she made me feel better and that's the worst thing she did. She taught me to knit dreams with me and her in them and now she is hell-bent on taking them all away.

She bought light in my life and now she is about to take it away but I am not going to let that happen. It's all because of that mating bond! It's polluting my feelings and emotions. It's interfering with the ability to function properly. I hate it. I wonder if I'd still care if the bond wasn't there.

Judging by the person I am, I know I wouldn't have cared for her. I was cold towards her before I discovered that she is mate. I didn't care for her then but I couldn't think of going back to act that way with her after what we've shared. It pains both me and Rey to think of us separating but at the same time, I am afraid that the feelings that I have for her are just because of the mating bond. I am not capable of loving anyone.

If the bond is broken anyhow then we'd be nothing more than two strangers who know each other's secrets but I won't let her get away with it so easily. I thought I couldn't want anything so badly until I got her. She came in my life with nothing and now, she is about to go away with everything. But I am not a good man. I've always got what I want and this time it won't be anything different.

"Your highness, they tried to get in through the northern borders last night again," This has my attention instantly as I remember that Nefret hasn't returned to the palace yet.

"Kill anyone you see around the border," My voice resonates in the room, hiding my fears regarding her.

Where will you go, Nefret?

~

-HER-

I take a final look at myself in the mirror as I tuck the dagger that I was given in the coronation ceremony in the waist band of my dress. Oculus Reaper is securely wrapped around my wrist and I feel Vesta pacing inside me by thinking of what's about to happen.

I am back in the palace, in his room, gearing up for the decision I've taken. This place smells of him and it reminds me of him and I hate this. I am holding back my tears as my eyes fall on the bed that we used to share. The moments we had here... it was all because of the mating bond. Nothing was true. We were acting like that because we were functioned to act like that. It was not us but Ishtar pulling our strings in the name of mate bond.

It saddens me, it makes me mad. It pains me like nothing. I contain myself from breaking down here. I cannot afford to do that now. I have made a very important decision and I have to act as soon as possible before he finds out.

If I am successful in doing what I have decided then we wouldn't be the same anymore. Vesta is pained by my thoughts but I force myself to move. I have to be out of here before he comes here and I.... I'll melt into his arms.

This place is so heavily guarded. I won't be able to get out of here without someone's help. Haestus and Archander won't let me go if I tell them what I have thought. They'll tell him and I'll be stuck with him again. He'll be very much infuriated if he ever comes to know what I have decided.

Suddenly, a bulb lights in my head. I know where to go!

In the next moment, I am sneaking out of his wing and into the other part of the palace where the ministers and other officials live. After walking down several corridors and taking several turns, I find myself knocking on a door I never gave much thought to before.

The door opens after some moments before his yellow golden eyes are met with my electric blue ones. The owner of those eyes raises an eyebrow at me as his gaze becomes harder.

"Take me to her," Is all I utter.

~

I follow Nadal as he leads me through some dark corridors I never knew existed in the palace. We walk in silence, only our footsteps echo. We don't have any torches lit. Our vision is enough to guide us through the dark.

His figure floats in front of me like smoke in air while I stumble on the uneven ground several times. It's dark outside when we step out of the palace through a tunnel.

"This way," He utters under his breath as he leads me in the dark forest. I follow him while my hands rest on my dagger under my cloak, ready to take it out at any given moment and defend myself if required.

Freshly fallen snow crunches under our feet as we walk in silence. The temperature is very low here, the white clouds of my hot breath seems to be freezing into solids. I wrap the cloak closer to my body. Vesta is panicking inside me and so am I but this has to be done.

I've been hiding from her for long. Now, I have to face her, face my fears, and face my destiny. The freezing night wind carries the low murmur of water to my ears. As the dead trees start to clear, occasional reflection of the light of the moon could be seen in the water.

I couldn't help but wonder how the water hasn't frozen into ice in this cold night. My eyes fall on a small boat waiting by the waterbody. Nadal climbs before me as I help myself to get onboard. He starts rowing as soon as I have settled in.

"Where are we?" I can't help but ask after containing myself from doing so for some time.

"We're crossing the northern skies. We'll be there in no time," He replies. Panic starts to rise inside me at his words but I won't stop now. There's no going back right now. I have come this far. I have to face her now, no matter what.

Soon, we're losing height as the horse starts to fly low. As the clouds clear beneath us, a huge castle comes into sight. It's nothing like Zaeris. This place has trees and looks alive. The horse touches down in the front of the huge stairs of the castle before Nadal climbs down.

I climb down next and follow him as he climbs the stairs. The soldiers open the door and we walk in. We're inside a round courtroom which is well lit. The ceilings disappear in the clouds while the floor is covered with milky white marble.

"I have bought someone," Is all Nadal speaks before he steps aside to reveal the rest of the room. At the center of the room is a throne on which sits Ishtar. She looks glorious and beautiful surrounded by her male subjects. There's a big fruit basket on her side from which a male subject picks up a bunch of grapes and holds it in front of Ishtar but her eyes are on me, studying me from head to toe.

A bark of laughter escapes her mouth as she throws her head back. Her yellow teeth shines like metal as the light reflects on them.

"Ah, is it you, Nefret?" She clamps her hands together as she rises from her seat and nears me.

"Ishtar," I greet her.

"Come, have a seat. I'd love to show you around. Glad to have you here," She says cheerfully. The smile on her lips not reaching her red eyes. The curls of her red hair seem to be manually set because they don't look out of place. The white cloth draped over her body enhances her curves and makes her look bigger.

"I am not here for all this, Ishtar."

"Then what is it that bought you here?" She asks, letting her hands down. The smile from her lips is gone and now she looks very serious. Cold and calculative.

"You,"

"Me?" She cocks an eyebrow at me.

"I am here to challenge you,"