The Space Spoon novel Chapter 51

After safely transporting the Transcendents to the star in the Winth System, Tejeda called for a team meeting. When everyone was seated at the table, he stopped spinning with his chair and coughed to catch everyone’s attention.

“First of all, I want to congratulate you all for not dying during your first month on this ship. Under my command, that’s quite the feat. E00, do we have some applause sounds to insert now?”

The silence that followed was an answer in itself.

"I take that as a no. Okay. Moving on. Before starting the actual meeting, I want you guys to tell me who made that wonderful pie. I ate all of it."

"I made the pie." C1313 tilted her head in a sign she didn’t understand the praise. "I can take into account the nutritional needs of each individual and prepare something accordingly. But when it comes to taste, well, I don’t have any. My dishes can be bland, I can’t tell."

"Well, I must say, your cooking is exquisite." Tejeda winked. "Congratulations on acquiring a new role on this ship. You’re now the cook."

"But... I'm afraid I can't... What if I add too much or too little spices? There are several variables I am unable to verify."

"No worries," Tejeda replied. "I’ll taste it for you. My taste receptors change during each shift, and it’s one of my neverending pleasures to explore the flavors with each new body. Everything changes when your senses are altered. That’s why I like food." He laughed. "Once, a Globonian told me a chef who doesn’t taste the food makes it even more delicious. Maybe he was right. Who knows? Globonians eat even dirt, so that’s that."

Okay, his speech sounded great at first, until he destroyed it with irrelevant details that tossed everything out the window. Tejeda applied an overly compensating smile. "Do you have any other issues, or may I start with the major item on my list today?"

“We’re listening,” Cato said, excited.

She seemed to be the only one. C1313’s eyes dashed left and right, probably trying to compute the implications of her new role. Shayla leaned over the backrest with her arms crossed over her chest. Hanga tinkered at a miniature contraption, possibly not hearing a word. With his head resting on his fist, Jackeye seemed lost in boredom. What a crew he had!

"E00, do the honors." A transparent screen appeared, hovering above the table. It was big enough for everyone to see the list. "This is our mission board. From here, we get the tasks available to us directly from the Interplanetary Police’s data stream. I’ll be picking them according to our proximity to the target and its rating on the OMG scale."

“The OMG scale?” Shayla shrugged. “What’s that?”

“My personal scale from boring to ‘Oh my God, we’re all gonna die!’”

Silence followed his words once more. Hanga raised his head, his screwdriver hanging over the contraption, and furrowed his brow. Jackeye raised a single eyebrow while C1313 blinked a few times. Cato’s ears flickered as if she was trying to see if her hearing was off. A click of the tongue came from Shayla’s direction.