There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL) novel Chapter 216

Chapter 216: Chapter 210. It Doesn’t Matter

"I can tell you if you want, my past experience, or my adventure inside the dungeon," Zein said at the end of their dinner, before sipping on his drink.

"Really?!" the young guide replied excitedly.

At first, he only met Zein because the twins arranged it, and because he was intrigued by how different they seemed. He never thought of taking things further, because...well, he had no confidence of wasting the time of such a great person.

But...but he realized that Zein wasn’t that much different from him, from the other guides. And...wouldn’t it be wonderful, to have a cool friend like that?

"Hmm...but it’s part of my guild’s database, so we might need to sign a non-disclosure agreement," Zein stroked his chin in contemplation, earning a confused look from the young guide. "That nothing we talk about should be known by or spread to other people," Zein explained further. "Of course, it means what you’ll say to me won’t leave the room too."

"Oh! Like a secret? A secret for both of us only?"

It was astonishing how innocent this man could be. "With legal binding, yes."

"Oh, I’d still like that!" Ren exclaimed delightedly, clasping his hands together, before adding carefully in a lower tone. "But can I discuss it with Mizar and Alcor first?"

"Of course,"

The young guide was beaming, and looking at him like that, people might never know what kind of scar was hidden deep within. It was a testament to the twins’ care, if that smile was any indicator. Even if Ren was still afraid of other people, it was good enough for him to be able to feel happy in his own comfortable space.

Healing took time, as Zein knew too much already.

"Ren--can I call you Ren?"

The young guide almost stuttered as he replied, looking happy that Zein called him more intimately. "Yes."

"Are you happy with them?"

"Yes!" the answer came without hesitation, and the young guide added bashfully. "I’m...I guess, I feel safe with them. I know they’ll never harm me."

That was such a high level of trust from someone who couldn’t even step outside his bedroom without being chaperoned by someone trusty. It got Zein to wonder about something, seeing that the man was an exclusive guide.

"Do you...imprint each other?"

Surprisingly, the young guide shook his head. "No," he said, looking somewhat both bashful and distressed. "There are three of us, so..." he bit his lower lip, and fiddle with his napkin again, looking down. "And...and Alcor said...someday I might want to leave if I’m...not scared anymore, so...so they don’t want to bind me like that..."

"I see," Zein raised his brow slightly, genuinely surprised that the twins were actually that...thoughtful. Of course, they might just want to avoid putting themselves in a highly risky situation. But the vibe he got from the twins was honestly good so far.

But what about the guide himself?

"Do you want to?"

the young guide raised his head. "You mean imprinting?"

"Yes,"

"I..." Ren lowered his gaze again, staring at his now empty plate. "If there’s a way..." he gripped the napkin with both hands now, something that he seemed to always do to quell his surging emotion--perhaps a habit he grew when he had to suppress himself during all those abuses. "I just...I love them so much, you know? But if only two people can make an imprint, it won’t be fair to the other person, and, and...our relationship might change, and..."

Zein observed the scrunched face; he could see that the guide kind of blaming himself for that, and felt frustrated because of it. "Mizar said...if we make an imprint, and they were to...die...in the dungeon," the voice, which had been low and quiet from the start, became shaky, "I’ll...I’ll become miserable, and..." he was practically choked up and stopped talking.

For a while, Ren couldn’t say anything more, and Zein filled his glass with water, helping the young guide to drink the water slowly. After downing the whole glass, Ren took a deep breath and exhaled, repeatedly, until he stopped gripping his napkin.

As Zein rubbed his back gently, Ren raised his face and looked at Zein with his big brown eyes. "But you see--you see...even if we don’t have the imprint, I’m still going to feel miserable either way, right? I love them so much, so how can...how can I stand it if I lose them?"

Zein blinked at that statement, which unknowingly pierced his heart which was still in dilemma about the whole imprinting thing. He retreated his hand and walked back to his seat with a tingling in his heart.

"So...it doesn’t matter, huh?" he muttered as he took a seat back, fingers drumming the armrest and blue eyes staring at the twinkling lights outside. "If you love them, imprint or not, losing them will still be painful."

The solemn tone he used felt like he said it more to himself than anything.