There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL) novel Chapter 31

Chapter 31: Chapter 30. Where Line Is Breached

"What about a kiss?"

Zein didn't avoid the stare, nor he pulled away. He gazed right back at the amber orbs; they looked pretty, like a dim fire, a passion crystalline. They looked like ignition stones, and he felt like he might get caught in the blaze they created.

He looked at the scale marks beneath the eye, and found out it wasn't a mark, but real scales, glistening in their blackness. A slight scar above the seemingly perfect brow, reminded him of the blood he saw on this face four years ago.

It made him realize that this was the first time he looked at the esper's face clearly.

A line was waiting to be breached, but Zein didn't let himself cross it. "No,"

"Tsk—" Bassena clicked his tongue, but there was no apparent disappointment on his face. Clearly, he had expected this answer. A playful smile danced on his lips instead. "Shouldn't you humor the vibe?"

"What vibe?" Zein titled his head, no acknowledgment of fluster to be made.

The esper chuckled, the fire in his eyes dispersing into warmth. "Like me being naked, and we being alone, and everything being pretty..."

Zein sighed, and muttered curtly, "So persistent..."

It was his cue to step back, so Bassena shrugged and shifted sideways, leaning his body into the side of the lake and propped his head with his elbow on the grass. "Isn't it normal to be persistent in chasing someone you're courting?"

Courting...Zein scoffed. Honestly, he was a little confused about this esper. He had thought that the esper's flirtation was a trick he pulled to entice Zein into his guild. But there were moments when he saw the sincerity in Bassena's words and actions.

And because he knew now, that they indeed had met before, in a life and death situation, no less.

He remembered then, when they met inside the sentry box.

—I come to see you—

That was what the esper said.

—If you were to die, I wouldn't be able to survive—

It came truer than what Zein thought. Because he did think of just letting everything go at that time, inside the darkness of the twin's bedroom. Then he might not come across this man, just an inch from eruption.

There was something Alma—his older sister figure—said about esper that came back from near eruption.

Attachment.

It was easy for an esper to get attached to the guide that pulled them from the brink of eruption. There was nothing weird or special about that, since it was a normal reaction of someone whose life got saved. Just like how a dying man would feel immense gratitude to someone who healed them.

But guiding touched the soul, the very core of a living being. So the attachment formed from guiding ran deeper.

It was why Zein ran away so soon after cleansing Bassena four years ago. He was always firm on rejecting esper because of this attachment thing. He just never thought that Bassena would still persistently look for him after years.

Zein looked down, at the blinding platinum-blonde hair, slicked back and wet from the water. The closed eyes, and relaxed face as if the man was having a sunbath.

For someone who persistently chased after him for four years, Bassena was...patient. And it was this patience that swayed Zein slowly, indulging the esper's little requests, letting him exercise his advances.

Even though Zein knew it would be bad to indulge in this attachment.

"When you said you want me to be your exclusive—"

"Ah, wait!" Zein turned his head, and raised his brow at the esper's flustered face. It was so surprising and unexpected, like that time with the conversation about the rat. The man glanced up at him with an embarrassed look. "In my defense, I had no idea that 'exclusive guide' contain derogatory meaning in the red-zone. So I'll apologize first."

Zein blinked. He was actually only wanted to confirm that 'attachment' thing that Alma said to him, and drew the line there. But now that the esper mentioned it...

It was true that Zein left because he didn't want to get tangled with a random esper he met at a dark cave, but half of his spikiness also came from that term: Exclusive Guide.

Sure, Zein knew now that the term had a different meaning elsewhere. It was originally a name for an exclusive contract between an esper and a guide, where the guide under the contract would solely use his ability to guide the esper he contracted with, and no one else. Some high-star espers had an exclusive guide because they need constant, dedicated guiding.

And usually, exclusive contracts marked the highest prestige for a guide, with handsome pay and high-rank treatment based on the rank of the esper. So, to be an exclusive guide for a rich, young Saint-class like Bassena Vaski would be the dream of most guides. It was understandable that Bassena felt weirded out by being rejected that day, when all the other guides had been asking for it instead.

But in the red-zone—and any shady part of the higher zone—exclusive guide was also used as a term for 'slave guide', which referred to guides entangled in unfair contracts with a guild or organization. Guides that were 'owned' by those establishments. In some cases, these slave guides even turned into prostitutes. A guide brothel existed for those who seek the service of these 'exclusive' guides.

Zein was, essentially, one of those slaves.

"I was...immature then, and didn't know much about other parts of the world," Bassena continued, with a voice devoid of his usual confidence. "I used to think that everyone approved of me because of my power, that people would naturally want to be on my side. Which is obviously not true, seeing how I ended up in that situation in the first place."

Zein bent his body, trying to look into Bassena's flustered face. But the esper looked away, a dash of red in his ears. He looked like someone who got embarrassed talking about his dark history.

"So you're mature now?" Zein smirked, hovering above the esper's head.

Bassena plunged himself deeper into the water, sitting on the lakeside floor until the water climbed into his neck. "A little bit..." he mumbled quietly, before glancing at the guide. "At least, I'm no longer a brat."

Ah—Zein remembered then. It was actually the first clue that the esper gave him.

—because you hate dealing with a brat, right?—

Zein didn't remember much though. In the first place, he only said it because he got pissed and looking for an excuse to get away, as well as throwing insults.

But it seemed like Bassena took it rather seriously. He chuckled and looked up, feeling good about this imposing, powerful esper acting all flustered and looking cute. It was at times like this that Zein realized Bassena was younger than him. It was a reflex then, something from his subconsciousness, when his hand moved and patted the silvery strands.

Bassena looked up, but Zein wasn't staring at him. The patting hand was moving, caressing his scalp. But the blue eyes of the guide were gazing at the scenery; at the rumbling waterfall, at the rich greenery, at the colorful flowers; at the tree canopy, and the light streaming from above like eternal sunlight.

It was pretty, it was nothing like that day, which full of suffocating air and darkness, of blood and fury. And misunderstanding.

"Why don't you just tell me?" Zein asked, stopping his hand. It did need some jolting up, but if Bassena told him the event, he could have remembered faster.

"Hmm..." the esper looked forward at the lake's surface, disappointed at the stopping pat. "If it comes down to it, then...pride, I guess,"

"Pride?" Zein tilted his head.

Bassena chuckled, causing a little ripple in the lake's surface. "I want to tell you, at first. But then, what does it matter if you can't remember? It means I'm that unmemorable in your mind. It kind of wounded my pride if I have to make you remember."