Breaking All the Rules novel Chapter 35

I go back over to my chair and Ian pulls me into his lap, my back toward him and gives me a little hug. I put my hands over his and he holds me for a minute. "Can friends do this?" He asks me. I wanted to say no and get up but it felt so good to be in his arms again.

I turn to face him. "Yeah, friends can do this." I lay my head on his chest and he relaxes beneath me and pulls me in close.

"I know I keep saying it but...I've really missed you, Kamdyn, more than I've ever missed anyone."

I snuggle into him. "I've really missed you too."

He kisses my head and I close my eyes, it feels so right to be like this with him. Why doesn't he love me back?

"I'm sorry about not texting you and kissing you and....I'm sorry about everything. I

really want you in my life, even if it means no sex."

"Wow. Really? So you can actually hang out with a girl without hooking up with her?"

"If that girl is you, yeah, I'm not saying I won't want to or I won't think about it but yeah I can hang out with you without sex."

I grin. "So you like hanging out with me?"

He leans in and whispers in my ear. "I love hanging out with you."

I wrap my arms around him in a hug. At least I mean enough to him that he's going to make the effort to keep me in his life. That's better than nothing right? So I wasn't just a hook up to him. "That really means a lot to me, Ian."

He hugs me back. "You really mean a lot to me, I'll do whatever it takes to keep you."

Whatever it takes? I'm sure he didn't mean it that way but what if he did? What if I told him I want us to be more than friends? Would he do that?

"Get a room." Nick says. Ian flips him off. "Okay, we'll get a room then." Nick grabs Lexi's hand and starts toward the stairs. "Don't screw on the couch or the chair, we're running out of furniture." He tells us before going up the stairs.

"Wow." I say laughing.

"I guess that just leaves you and me." Ian says.

"Yeah, just the two of us."

"I'm okay with that, you're the only one I really wanted to hang out with anyway."

I looked up at him. "What will we do for the next ten minutes?" I joke.

He laughs. "More like three minutes."

"Okay, what ever will we do for the next three minutes?"

"Sit here just like this?" He says tightening his arms around my waist.

I try to ignore the butterflies coming alive in my stomach. "I thought you were going to say play strip poker."

"Nah, I need more than three minutes for that."

"This is true."

"So you still trying to play matchmaker with Jess and Nick?"

"No, not after this. I thought he really liked her, but I guess not." I said feeling

disappointed in Nick. Are there no guys out there who care about anything other than sex?

"I think he likes pretty much anything with a vagina." Ian tells me.

"So do you." I nudge him with my elbow.

"No, I don't, I mean I used to be like that but I'm not now."

"Yeah, like you're such a changed man now." I tease him.

"I am. I've changed a lot, Kamdyn. You'd be surprised how much I've changed." He looks hurt by my teasing, so I drop it.

"It won't."

What have I gotten myself into? I knew this was a bad idea. Ian kept his word and instead of sleeping in his briefs like he normally does he was wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt. I just wanted to go over there and jump on top of him but instead I stayed as close to the edge of the bed as I possibly can without falling off.

"See? Not weird." Ian tells me.

"Nope, not weird." I agree. When is the last time we had sex? Two weeks ago? Three weeks? I can't remember but it felt like years. He's ruined me for life, I'm so used to getting amazing sex that now I can't go without it. I want him so bad.

"Good night, Kamdyn." Ian says.

"Good night, Ian." We lay there in silence in a room full of darkness. There is just a little space between us that I can so easily cross.

"What about holding you?" Ian asks.

"What?" My heart is beating out of my chest. Just one time. That would be okay right?

"Can I hold you? Or would that be weird?"

"Oh....um...."

"Never mind. Forget I said anything."

"No, you can hold me." I say over the lump in my throat. What am I doing? How am I going to be able to resist him if he's touching me?

He scoots over and puts his arm around my waist and sighs. "I've missed this. I sound like such a girl but it's all your fault. You made me get so used to cuddling that I haven't slept in weeks."

"Really? You like cuddling?"

He yawns. "Yeah, you've ruined me for life."

"I thought you just did it because I wanted to." Ian McAllister actually likes to cuddle? Who would've thought that? I can't believe what I'm hearing.

"I did at first, but it grew on me. Cuddling isn't so bad, but you ever tell anyone I said that and I'll deny it."