Demons From the Past novel Chapter 37

"We can't change the past, but we can start a new chapter with a happy ending."

*************

|Verena|

*6 months later*

My hand gently caressed the marble headstone.

"Hey Trev. I know it's been a while since I last came to see you but I've been a little preoccupied lately. I've been thinking a lot."

I smiled, "You know, Skylar and Aiden got engaged! I got her email yesterday. I'm so happy for them."

The wind picked up and I wrapped my arms around myself.

"I can't believe it's been six months already. I miss you Trevor, so much." I wiped my wet eyes with the back of my hand.

"Mom and dad have finally started to moved on. I understand that they were both hiding from the past like I was; dad in his work, and mom through her exotic travelling. Our family is back to normal again. The letter you wrote really changed them, they're back to being their old loving selves again. They made up for not being there for me in the past by giving me all their time and love in these 6 months. Thank you for that, I really needed them, more than I knew."

I sighed softly, "You sent me a letter too, I didn't have the courage to read it until now. That's the main reason I came here today, I wanted to read the letter with you."

I ran my hand over the white envelope. It was still sealed.

Not wanting to give myself a chance to back out, I quickly tore it open.

I started reading the familiar writing;

"Hey Vinnie.

First off, I'd just like to start by saying that this is extremely awkward since you're sitting right across the room right now. But I really need to get everything off my chest.

You see, three years ago when I had to leave, when I thought I'd never see my family again, the thing I regretted most was not telling you all the things I had in my heart.

I don't want to make that mistake again so here it goes;

I love you baby sister.

And I will always love you no matter what happens.

Love is the only thing in this universe which is eternal.

I still remember the day you were born,

You were so annoying, always screaming and crying. I didn't talk to mom for a whole day because I had wanted a little brother.

I'd been an only child for seven years, I wasn't used to mom and dad giving someone else attention.

You used to follow me around the house all day on your chubby little legs.

God, I hated you then.

But you eventually started growing on me, and although I didn't admit it I loved the attention you gave me.

Remember Johnny? I don't think you do. You were only five at that time. He was our neighbor's kid, a few years older than you, he was your first friend.

You both grew really close, you started going to his house a lot.

I was so jealous Vinnie. The thought of my little sister giving someone else so much attention made my blood boil.

So I decided to do something about it. I'm still not proud of it (I've never told anyone this and I'll still deny it if someone asks)

Remember that china doll mom bought you from Italy? God, you loved that doll.

So one night when everyone was sleeping I snuck into your room and stole her from your nightstand . I hid her in the attic (she's probably still there).

The next day when you woke up you nearly had a fit when you couldn't find her (damn, I still feel guilty for making you cry so much).

I told you that it was Johnny who had taken her and you never spoke to him again.

I admit, as guilty as I felt for taking your doll and blaming poor Johnny, getting you back was still worth it, you were my best friend after all..

Right now I'm watching you from across the room.

You're laughing at something Nate is saying and right now I'm feeling exactly how I felt all those years ago when you started playing with Johnny instead of me.

I see the way you look at him Vinnie, like he's the most important thing in this universe. Not very long ago that used to be me.

I've never seen you happier than you are when he's around.

You love him Vinnie.

You love him so much that it makes me want to kill him.

Kill him because he's stolen my baby sister from me.

But deep down in my heart I'm grateful. I'm grateful that you've found someone like him.

As hard as it is for me to admit, Nate's a good guy.

And he loves you.

I can see it in his eyes. He loves you so much Vinnie.

I still don't think anyone's good enough for you but if you did choose someone I'm glad it's Nate. I know he'll always protect you and I know he will never hurt you.

Just look at you Verena, you've grown so much. You're stronger than ever.

You're independent and fearless and I couldn't be prouder.

It's hard to accept the fact that you don't need me anymore.

You've found happiness.

You've found a home,

And it's Nate.

You deserve to be happy.

Just be happy.

I love you.

P.S: If I'm dead then please delete my internet history.

I was laughing and crying. If anyone saw me they'd probably think I'd completely lost it.

I folded the piece of paper and placed it gently into my pocket.

"I miss you so much Trevor. It's different from last time though. Three years ago when I was told you had died, I guess a part of me knew it wasn't true. Losing you still hurts terribly but I know this time it's right. Every time I think about you my heart hurts, but with that pain theirs relief too. Instead of crying over the memories we'll never get a chance to make I've learned to smile over the beautiful ones we had. I guess I've finally learned how to accept loss and acceptance is the first step towards letting go. I realize that's what I had been doing, I was holding on to all the pain. I was afraid to let go because in order to let go of the past you have to face it. I'm done running away, I'm stronger now. Thanks to you and thanks to Nate."

I could feel my chest constrict when I thought about Nate.

I missed him so much.

I hadn't heard from him ever since I'd left him six months ago.

I had no idea how he was or if he still loved me.

All I knew was that I still loved him with everything I had.

Every fiber every particle in my body still longed for him.

I slowly made my way towards the cemetery parking lot.

I had the sudden urge to go home as quickly as possible.

************

"Mom Dad! I'm home." I announced as soon as I stepped inside the house.

"Verena honey, we're in the living room. Can you come here please?" I heard my mother's voice beckon.

My eyebrows scrunched together in concern.

"Is everything okay?" I asked as soon as I reached them.

"Yes, we just wanted to talk to you about something." My father comforted.

I eyed them suspiciously.

"We're thinking of selling the house." My mother suddenly burst out.

My eyes bulged. "W-what?" I stuttered in shock.

"Since the past three years we've been hurting Verena. All of us. It's time to move on, it's time to welcome happiness. But we can't start over when our own house just keeps reminding us of how much we've lost. This place hasn't been home ever since Trevor left." My mother spoke softly.

I nodded my head because I didn't know how else to respond.

I understood what they were saying.

"Where will you guys go?" I asked finally.

"We found a beautiful cottage near the countryside. It's small but it's everything we want, the owners said that we can move in next month." She responded.

I gave them a warm smile, "I'm happy for you guys, I just want you both to be happy."

My mother wiped the corner of her eyes with a tissue. "You're welcome to move in with us darling but I don't think that's what you need to be happy. You won't be happy as long as you're not with him Verena. Your home is wherever Nate is."