Dominant Alpha novel Chapter 36

Christian's smooth, neck length hair was blowing from the soothing wind. A dark dangerous aura was surrounding him as he stood in the gallery of room. Their room. It was the time when he was most vulnerable. Most aggressive. Everyone was afraid to come near him at that time. It was the time when he felt her absence the most. The crushing pain with unbearable tolerance was the only thing that reminded him that he was still alive and the pain was never going to go away.

Though he was alone but he felt like she was around him. Like the soothing wind. Touching him and whispering soft words to him. He clenched his hand as the blood dripped down from the shard of glass cutting in his hand. Though it healed way too quickly to his liking. He pulled it out & pushed it inside again on the same spot. To feel the pain, to feel anything except emptiness. He was lost in the sensation, not caring about the chilling that the wind was giving to him. He was unfazed to let anything else go through his mind. It was the only time when he felt some relief from the pounding accusing voice in his head and heart.

But this was soon going to end, wasn't it? The sun was about to rise and it was time for him to go through the torture called life once again. He didn't even remember the last time he had slept. He preferred death over it but even that was not in his fortune.

His life was torture and he gave this gift of torture to himself. He was alone, he was completely crushed, he was broken. He was not himself. He was just a replica of a dead shadow that teased him and tempted him to accept the pull of the black hole that was inviting him to get swallowed in. His life was empty without her. He had to control himself from ending his life every second he breathed. It was his punishment to endure the pain of living alone til the last breath of his life. It was his punishment to himself for pushing her away from him. For calling her all those dirty, painful words. For killing her.

He felt nothing. No emotion. Just an unbearable pain in his chest every time he breathed. Now it was his life. It was the proof of her getting lost in the fade. She was gone. Forever. Dead. Just like he wanted. Just like he had said to her. As he had wished on the last moment when he threw her out of his life.

A tear escaped from his eyes as he tried to soothe the pain from rubbing his chest but he wiped it harshly.

He wasn't allowed to shed tears. It wasn't right. He has to bear the pain in his chest till his last breath. If he wept then the pain is going to get less painful. He doesn't want that. He wants the pain that he gave to her. Ten thousand times worst than that.

It was his fault she died. It was his fault his child died even before opening its eyes in the world.

A knock came on the door.

"Alpha, its time to go."

"Van......" Ava screeched angrily. He gave one look at her from the dining table and in a second his eyes widened and he was ready to bolt. She was looking like an angry dinosaur to him at that moment. But a cute one.

Just as he took a step back, she ran and tackled him to the ground.

"You should quit doing that now. Get off me, fatso." He said while faking pain in his voice. The good thing was there was no one to witness his life threatening situation at that moment.

She got up and stared at him while literally shooting daggers from her eyes and at that moment he couldn't do anything but turn on his back and lay on the floor only. His Her Highness's anger was the only thing that scared him but he knew it was just temporary and secretly, he enjoyed pacifying her in his own passionate way.

"What?" He faked innocence.

She narrowed her eyes at him and whispered in a deadly tone, "Don't make me say it, Van, or swear to God.."

She followed his gaze and understood in a second that he was contemplating his chances of running away from there.

"Don't. Even. Think about it."

His eyes widened at her knowledge of his thoughts. Shit! He was totally screwed.

"Oh alright." He sighed in defeat and sat up cross legged to get his scolding of the day.

"Why did you tell Kai and all the other soldiers to go soft on me in the practice range? You know I don't like your interference in that kind of thing. Why don't you just quit being this much protective?"