Only Mine novel Chapter 5

Fortunately, the next day was Saturday and I was grateful for a chance to sleep-in. We were meeting at my mum's place for lunch at noon which gave me enough time to wake up without rushing. I've always loved lunch dates at my mum's on the weekends when we all got a chance to catch up and chat away the afternoon since our working schedules were crazy during the week. Becca and Brian were coming and Mike was joining us after finishing the lunch with his dad.

I got interrogated by the happy couple about Jake situation as soon as I sat at the table. I was trying to avoid thinking about him the whole morning, but now there was no escaping it. I mumbled a shorter version of our first meeting but leaving out the party encounter.

Brian mentioned Jake left the party in a weird mood, which gave me a momentary sense of satisfaction, but when he added that Serena surely improved his foul mood later, my short-lived good mood quickly faded.

I smiled but somehow the insinuation didn't sit right with me. Some nagging voice in the back of my head was trying to suggest I was the one who wanted to make him feel good. Oh god, I'm in bigger trouble than I thought.

I still felt hot when remembering the words we exchanged yesterday, and don't get me started on how deliciously he smelled; I just wanted to snuggle in the crook of his neck and lick him all the way down to his toned chest.

I had to keep reminding myself how big of a player he is in order to keep my fantasies at bay. Honestly, the guy obviously has issues with being faithful – who comes to a party with one woman and then openly flirts with another? The situation reminds me too much of Scott and that just leaves a bitter-sweet taste in my mouth.

The rest of the lunch remained relaxed, not mentioning the particular person again and I was finally feeling peaceful after a long week I had. We drank coffee after lunch and ate my mum's best apple pie in the whole world while chatting about everything and nothing at the same time.

The wedding was coming up in a few months and there were a ton of things left to be done, a lot of them falling on me since I was the Maid of honor. But no matter my busy schedule, I was going to make sure my sister gets the wedding she has always dreamt about, even if it means tolerating the obnoxious best man for the next few months.

I left with Mike at around five o'clock, successfully avoiding any further interrogation from Becca about what happened at the party. I knew I won't be able to hide it from her for long but today was really not the day I wanted to talk about it.

Mike went home and I decided to take a stroll down O'Connell Street with another coffee shot from Starbucks while enjoying the crowd around me. I loved feeling the city vibe, see people rushing here and there, cars passing by, and tourist buses calling for potential customers.

I always felt like I'm two people trapped in the same body; my personality was contradicting itself constantly. I was a big fan of rock bands but classical music was a balm for my soul. I was extremely organized in my workspace but my private life was a constant mess. I always craved all the fuss of a big city but at the same time enjoyed and needed my alone time more often than not. And this was definitely one of those days.

My mind was jumping from one topic to another while walking down the busy street – from my studies (since I was only a few months away from getting my MA) to my family and friends, who drove me crazy as much as they made me feel loved. My dad was not in the picture since my mum divorced him and I think we were always better off this way.

However, there are always certain consequences a child with divorced parents goes through. There is no mystery about me looking for a guy that wouldn't be afraid to handle me, but would still be a safe constant in my life. I craved a male figure in my life and it often made me feel insecure when it came to people loving me. If I didn’t feel reassured in any type of relationship I’ve had, I would seek and push for getting the attention I craved; or doing exactly the opposite - running the other way without giving it a proper shot. It was honestly a 50:50 chance. It was messed up, but it was something I was aware of and trying to overcome.

I took a deep breath and redirected my thoughts once they went down that road. I didn't need another thing today to keep me anxious. Jake-situation was doing that enough on its own. After walking around for an hour I returned to my apartment, snuggled on my couch with a bag of popcorn, and enjoyed the rest of my evening watching TV shows. I loved lazy Saturdays.

--

Next week went by in a blur and wedding arrangements were becoming more intense with each day. It did help, however, to keep my mind from wandering to Jake and his stupidly handsome face. By the end of the week, I almost forgot about our conversation. Almost.

It's Friday night and I'm heading over to Becca and Brian's place to put together the sitting arrangements, but mostly just to have a chill-out evening.

Hanna was meeting me there and I knew Brian's brother with his wife will be joining us later in the evening. I've never really bonded with them but since they were Brian's family they came with the package. I was the first to arrive and after half an hour of putting together the names and the tables, the doorbell rang. Becca got up to get the door and when she opened I heard a male voice greeting her.

Shivers went down my spine when realizing Jake just entered the apartment. I couldn't expect not seeing him again, but I wasn't prepared to see him today. When he entered the living room with Becca by his side, his eyes collided with mine. We stared at each other for a bit too long and a bit too intense. When I finally plastered my fake polite smile on my face and greeted him, amusement flashed through his eyes and he greeted me back with a mischievous smile of his own.

"Hello Jessica, nice seeing you again."

I snorted at his comment and he chuckled at my obvious annoyance while Becca looked at us suspiciously. Brian was oblivious to our whole interaction - I love men and their lack of perception in moments like this.

Jake joined us at the table and sat opposite me, making it really hard not to stare at him the whole time. Just remember how to breathe and don't look him in the eyes. Whatever you do, Jessica, just don't look at his stupidly beautiful green eyes.

Soon after the rest of the company joined - Brian's brother with his wife, and Hanna at the end. She gave me an 'OMG' look when she saw Jake sitting there with us and I tried my best not to show how nervous I am. Nothing actually happened between us, but I always felt some inexplicable pull when he was in the vicinity. At this point, I really didn’t know anymore if there is something there or if I’m truly going crazy.

Despite him making all my senses hyper-aware, the evening went pretty well. We ordered food, drank delicious wine, and got to know each other a bit more.

I managed to keep my interaction with Jake to a minimal level and for a change, the evening went smoothly without me getting embarrassed. I have gotten to know better Brian's brother Kevin and his quite beautiful wife Marry, but something about them just made them not my cup of tea. And judging by the interaction my sister had with them, she would agree with my assessment.

I have gotten to know a bit more about Jake as well. He mentioned being extremely busy lately with the new project at work, but not mentioning enough for me to decipher what is it that he actually does. Apparently his parents moved to England and he was still debating whether to visit them during the Christmas holidays. The things my sister told me about their childhood made sense now with his impassive attitude towards his family. His parents traveled a lot and didn’t spend much time with him. This is why he hung out with Brian a lot and felt more connected to him and his family than his own.

Hanna gave me a few suggestive looks during dinner and I saw she was hardly containing herself to not burst to laugh at my obvious discomfort. I really hoped Jake didn't notice our meaningful glances.