BEAUTIFULLY UNFINISHED novel Chapter 48

FORTY-SEVEN

M I R A N D A

"Oh my god..." I tremble in fear.

My tears never stopped from falling down on my cheeks. I was starting to have trouble in breathing. I think my heart has been totally ripped out from my chest the second I saw my son's lifeless body lying down on the street, being crowded by the people and I couldn't do anything about it but to cry and hold him. I couldn't do anything to save him. I'm a nurse but I'm just helplessly crying for help.

I could still hear the whale of the ambulance as it arrives. I could still feel my chest hurting and burning with anger and pain and so much hatred that I was blaming myself for what happened to my son. I could still feel my limbs being numb. I could still see how Ben looked when he was lying down on my arms on that street with so much blood on him, while he was totally unconscious. I could still feel how it went through my entire system that I was going to lose my son tonight.

"Ben..." I whimper as I pull his head close to my chest.

"Give the woman some air!" I hear men calling out.

"Fuck! Ben!" Louis rushes to me and I see Harry catching up next to him.

"Louis..." My voice shakes for help.

"Let's get him to the hospital! Call 911! Anybody!" Louis tries to help me but I couldn't think straight.

I only thought about Ben.

Ben...

Ben...

Ben...

I watch Ben as the medics rush him into the operating room with so much blood on his white polo and jeans. He was blacked out and seems dead on my arms the entire time I carried him inside the ambulance. I'm crying my heart out as Louis tries to rub my back.

He tries to calm me down. He tries to whisper to my ear that it's going to be okay. He tries to tell me that Ben will pass through it but I can't stop worrying about Ben and how will he be when he wakes up. I wonder if ever he's going to be the same, or he might forget me or might have some brain hemorrhage or so much worst that I don't want to think about but it's filling my head. I just cried and cried on Louis' shoulders.

Harry moves in circles as he tugs his hair back. He looks totally distraught over what has happened. I see him crying and his tears were falling on his cheeks. He wipes them right away and the paps were quick to know what has happened. They're already out of the hospital but no one allowed them to go in for our safety and some privacy.

I watch as Audrey stands in the corner and I hate the view of her being here, staying around as if she was at least concerned for Ben. She pulls her phone out and pretends to be busy with it.

"What are you still doing here?!" I called to her attention.

Louis and Harry glanced at me. She quickly moved her head to me and arched me an eyebrow.

"What do you still want? The paps and the public aren't here anymore so stop pretending that you're concerned for what happened!" I yelled.

She didn't budge.

"Get your fake ass out of here! I don't need you to act so concerned for Ben! This is all because of you!" I yelled at her again as I start to gain the attention of other people's attention.

Louis pulls me back as I almost throw myself at Audrey. "Miranda people are watching." He reminds me.

"I don't care. People should know how awful of a person she is!" I spit.

Audrey stands from her chair. "Let's go ahead Harry." She stares at me angrily. "I know you don't want to go yet but I can't take the smell of the stinky air that is here." She rolls her eyes.

She leaves us and noticed that Harry didn't follow her. She stops and gazes at Harry over her shoulder. "Harry."

He sighs. "Ben is my son, Audrey. I can't leave him alone in this kind of situation."

She gaped. "Harry." She demanded.

"If you want to go, then leave." He spit.

I stared at her to annoy her more.

"I can't believe you." Audrey spat back.

"I'm not going with you. I'm not leaving my son." Harry said firm.

Audrey crosses her arms together and looks at me totally pissed off. She exhales heavily. Of course Harry won't choose her, Ben's her own blood and flesh and his own son is in a very critical condition. Plus I just totally embarrassed her in front of all these people and hospital staff.

"Leave Audrey." I spat.

She looks at me sternly.

"No one needs you to be around here anyways. You're not needed." I added.

She flipped her hair and began leaving us without saying another word to Harry. From the corner of my eye, he pulls himself down and sat on the chair quietly. He pushes his hair off his face and didn't say anything else. He just sat there and glued his eyes on the floor.

I feel Louis kept on rubbing my back. I pulled my head up to him. "I'm scared Lou." I whimper.

He wipes my tears. "I know you're worrying as hell right now for Ben. But I want you to take it easy, alright?"

I nod.

Louis kissed my temple briefly and hugs me tighter while Harry kept his eyes on us as Louis' arms were laced around me. "Everything's gonna be okay, love. Ben will make it. I'm here for you, I'm not gonna leave ya." Louis tells against my ear.

I nod again as I glued my eyes on Harry. He bends his head down and stared at his own fingers. He looks so lost and alone. He looks like he doesn't know what he's going to do right now. I honestly wanna walk up to Harry and hold him. I wanna comfort him for what he is feeling because I know he's terribly feeling deadly sad as much as I am. I wanna tell him that it's going to be alright, that this wasn't his fault if he's blaming himself for this and I'm not blaming him for anything that happened a while ago.

I know he needs someone to hold on, to cry on and to vent out the things that's inside of his head right now after what happened to Ben. I know how hurtful this is to Harry, seeing his own son being in a major accident isn't the best thing to end a night.

He looks so bothered and his mind his somewhere else that I can't reach him. I pity Harry right now. He looks so lost and so down. He's thinking about things thoroughly and silently. He bends his head down while he puts his thumbs against his forehead. Suddenly he wipes his tears away that were escaping from the corner of his eyes.

He's crying.

•••••

It's been five hours...

Five hours since Ben's operation and he still hasn't been up. He's still asleep on his bed, with that oxygen tank next to him, while Harry has never left his side. He's holding his hand and the fact that both of us haven't talked yet kills me. Louis went out to buy some coffee for us and I think he intentionally left so that me and Harry could talk things out without him.

I watch him as he guards Ben like its the only thing that he can do right now. I could see how worried he is for Ben and how he wants to talk to someone so badly. I know Harry's feeling cold even if he won't say it. He keeps sniffing his nose and I know he's been crying since a while ago. I grabbed the extra blanket and slowly walked behind Harry. The room was quiet. Insanely too quiet that it getting a bit awkward for the two is us. When I was close enough to him, I handed him the blanket and he just pulled his head up to me.

"Feeling cold?" I asked.